ch 2; Dysfunctional

"...what the fuck?"

"Y-Your Majesty?!"

"Wh-what's—"

"Shut it."

Wild. Hopeless. Insane. 

Should I had to grade the situation of this country and how these pea-brained high seats managed this hellhole based on this report, these three words will be stamped with all capital and bold. 

The Ministers were shocked at the sudden profanity, but feelings be damned. 

"Explain."

"Y-yes." 

Round as I am, they shouldn't have mistaken my nature as a kind-hearted one. As I talked in a stern command, the Minister of Agriculture stood and spoke on behalf of everyone. 

"Ahem. As Your Majesty knows, our grain producing area near the Seviran Canal was affected by a small-scale epidemic last year. Despite the fact that it was limited in scale and quickly repressed, the future production damage to the area has already a fait accompli. And indeed as we feared, the grain production this quarter was half-less than usual. Effectively triggering a spike in price for grain, by that extension, the whole market." 

Immediately after the Minister of Agriculture report concluded, the Minister of Military stood. 

"In addition, this shortage affects military the hardest. While it was true that we've already lost a huge chunk thanks to the last war, there's still approximately 2000 soldiers left to maintain. Because of this, the Ministry of Military proposes to reduce personnel across the board."

After both the Minister of Agriculture and Minister of Military concluded their report, all eyes converged on me, gauging my reaction. Did they think I didn't know they did this to silently pressure me? To answer their glaring stare, I called out one more minister. 

"Minister of Foreign Affairs." 

"Yes."

At my call, the half-bald old man shuffles the report papers on the desk, sorting out the report from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in name only, as the whole ministry essentially operates as the kingdom's only intelligence service. Running espionage and covert missions. 

"As you all know, the situation after war did not just affect us. The neighboring country, especially those who were our former ally, has been reported to suffer more or less the same situation as us: inflation, famine, and political chaos. But, unlike we in the Vedora Kingdom which quickly tidied up the domestic political scene, our neighbors did not have the same capacity. One that did, has been marked as code red." 

"Potential enemies."

"Precisely, Your Majesty."

As I was skimming the report from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, one minister, the Minister of War, confidently raised his hands, receiving the baton from the Minister of Foreign Affairs. I merely glanced at him before lowering my head to continue reading the report, but he seems to be interpreting this as a green light. 

Doesn't matter. 

"Your Majesty, there's something that the Minister of Foreign Affairs intentionally omits from his report." I was about to retort 'then why are you bringing it up' but decided to hear whatever madness would spit out from that mouth. 

"All the code red, Your Majesty, were strongly indicated to lean towards active military armament," in other words, a preparation for war. "But fortunately, the process seems to be slow as they were constricted with various problems inland. And as fortunate as it is, we still have a considerable amount of active duty soldiers, still fresh from the latest war, thus rich in experience. As the saying goes, 'seize the initiative, or lose it all'; the Ministry of War strongly proposed we re-arm the soldiers and wage a preventive war."   

…haha. Hahahahahahaha— 

This fucker. 

That lunatic of the Ministry of War is one thing, I didn't like him from the beginning. His ministry was the epitome of inefficiency; we had the Ministry of Military, why should I kept another ministry with more or less the same line of command in this situation where we already tighten the belt and had to reduce more spending to barely survive? And in these precarious times, what, a war? Preventive war??

But as it was coming from him, I merely thought, 'as expected of a motherless bastard'. 

What boils me to death is the tacit agreement of other ministers. 

You are all the head of this nation, for god's sake. How can you all not see the problem with waging another war?! No, seriously, no one?? 

These fuckers dragged me into this position and immediately hell-bent on self-destruction!

"So. To summarize; we lack food to feed our soldiers, thus the need to cut military size. The economy is in shambles because of war, famine has already encroached everywhere, because our fertile lands are falling to generate enough output because of the plague? Not to mention the movement of neighboring countries is more or less the same, and so to prevent getting run over by them, you assess it would be best to wage a preventive war?" 

"Well… yes,"

"Are you crazy?"

At my harsh words, the ministers were putting an expression of shock and 'how could you say that' face, but honestly, I can't help it. Ohhh, I can feel the headache coming. As I massaged the bridge of my nose, my stomach churned at this hopeless reality. 

This is the equivalent of them shitting and telling me to clean their shit. Total bullshit. 

The only fortunate thing is that the plague didn't spread further and it was quite mild to begin with. Local nobles were quick to act, imposing quarantine and partnering with nearby area's churches for containment and curing. But that's it. 

The true problem was the location. Even that would be manageable, if not for the fucking war. 

A war that we consciously start, based on the logic of 'opportunity'. 

And now these lunatics advice is to start another war? Fucking medieval. 

Of course, the reports that countries on the other side thought the same did not escape my judgement. But to wage a war itself is like fighting fire with oil; insanity. Instead of stability, it would bring endless problems. 

"I'm trying my best not to crack all your heads right here, right now—so please answer. What grand plan did you ministers concocted behind my back, to confidently utter the word 'war' on my face?"

At my sarcastic question, one minister raised his hand. The very man who proposed we throw ourselves into the bed of fire, the Minister of War, spoke. 

"Um, we still have about two thousand regular troops, roughly speaking."

"And?"

"If we use them all to plan a surprise attack, it's extremely doable, isn't it?"

"I assume that number rounds up excluding the noble's private army?"

"Yes…"

"Then what will you do if those opportunistic bitches come running here when there's not even one soldier to defend? No, in the first place, how would you move more than a thousand men without a fucking food?? Do you think those soldiers live on air or something?! We lack food!! To feed!! The soldiers!!! And your grand master plan is to wage war which would consume more food?!! KNIGHTS, ARREST THIS FOOL!!!"

"W-Wait—! Your Majesty—!!"

The middle aged minister wailed as he dragged from his seat but I couldn't care less. Not even a widow's tear could appease this anger in my heart. Seeing their comrade-in-arms dragged to prison just like that, the ministers start to rain sweat. Do not think I would forget your silent acceptance just because your spokesperson arrested, fuckers. 

Really, do they think I cannot touch them just because I'm a puppet king? No matter what, I'm still the legitimate ruler of this country, you fool. Furthermore, even if it's trivial, the Empire has already announced my true lineage to the mass. With citizens and the Empire behind my back, there's no way I would be scared. 

"Didn't that deposed king say it was an opportunity to carve a part of the Empire? Hm? And he rallied an alliance just to lose it all in one sitting. That's why we are here, today."

Just thinking about that impotent Ezhar's face quickly made my blood boil. At this point, I would die because of blood pressure before dying by enemies. 

"And you fuckers still trying to carve a little bit for yourself, saving your own skin first, aye? Well let me tell you what." 

Leaning to the front a bit, my hands interlocked, supporting the weight of my head. As I slowly lock eyes with each of them with the most cold expression I could muster, I then whisper. 

"There's nothing left."

Did they really thought they would be safe just because they're a part of the privileged class? Did they think the fire only burned on one part of the house, without spreading to other parts? What a fool. 

There's nothing left. 

For them, for me, for this country. 

After all, the fire burned indiscriminately with me inside. Just because I told them the house is on fire doesn't mean I'm immune to those fires. 

"It won't be surprising if this country falls tomorrow, to be honest. All your achievement, your family's prestige up 'till this point is no more. Pointless end is what awaits us all. And there will be chaos. Once everyone, from up to down, nobles to peasants, understood the situation, do you think you will be safe?"

I wonder what's more surprising? Seeing what they thought a powerless, timid, puppet king suddenly locking eye to eye with them? Or slowly realizing that the opportunity they snatched is nothing more than a rotting rope? Either way, seeing these amateur oligarch's faces gradually contorted gives me a huge satisfaction. Some of them paled, even.  

"Even if you scrape everything you have, would you have the ability to protect it? Mercenary logic is always money, and to them you are just like a golden egg that drops money; a sure way to get riches overnight. So are the soldiers. And the knights. And frankly, everyone. Survival of the fittest, I'd say. So what's the option? Running. But, where? To the neighboring country? They're more or less the same. To the Empire? Would be lucky if the guards didn't loot you on sight. Even after you successfully smuggled yourself inside, to quell the Southern chaos they will drag you from your little holes. Then hang you and your pitiful little family in front of the mobs from the nation you fled from." 

I'm regulating my breath, rattling every grim yet very much possible reality that would follow with little agitation. I did not illustrate more as there's no need to explain every little detail; these men are the heads of state, inasmuch as I don't want to admit, they're men with experience. Enough to sway a newly crowned king had I been ordinary. 

And in their own thoughts, while walking, sleeping, eating dinner with family, my words will echo in their heads as they slowly found a very real plausibility no matter how small, and no matter how much they tried to deny. 

To scare them? Part of, but honestly, I'm just venting at this point. 

I'm mad, too, you know. Dragged in this highest position responsible when this country could crumble with just a touch. If the mobs were to point out who's to blame, who would be the easiest aside from me? I'm sitting in the most heavy position, with the most heavy responsibility on my shoulder—and these old coots were only cared about themself without caring what would happen to me if I fail. 

If I tried to move with whatever left? Not even a chance would they let me. 

So lo and behold this hopeless situation, and fall with me, you fuckers.  

"Well. Now you all know the truth, let's just end it all here alright. Let's not meet again. Meeting adjourned."

With that, I promptly stood from my seat, and walked out by myself. The knights outside were half a beat late from escorting me, maybe because they overheard what I just said. Not that I cared. 

I'm just tired. I want to sleep. And I hope it's forever.