55

Sneaking from the room and along the dark hall had felt like being naughty kids, sneaking out after dark. There were still people meandering in the hall below, remnants of the party goers and waiting staff picking up discarded glasses. He had her hand tucked neatly inside his, pulling her along in the shadows, a simple possessive gesture; his large form and strength making her feel small and fragile. She felt like a teen sneaking from her parent’s house with a rogue boyfriend and it somehow felt exciting and right, especially when that rogue man was six feet of pure sexy gorgeousness and smelled amazing.

The hall, open on one side to a huge balcony that overlooked the main grand entrance was illuminating some of the ceiling and areas below, but here none of the lights had been put on, creating a dark passage to move unseen. They stuck to the wall in the shadows, hurrying along. Pulling her behind him, he opened a door at the end of the corridor and pulled her inside, both stifling giggles, still as drunk as they had been.

It somehow felt different this time already, just the fact he was sneaking her around his house at a very public affair and not caring who caught them was stark contrast to before. Everything had changed, she could feel it in the atmosphere between them, in the way he was being. He looked younger, more carefree.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but she didn’t ponder to think about it.

The room was a beautiful opulent suite with huge canopied bed and luxurious bedding in shades of creams and peaches. It was obvious this had been his mother’s influence, so much in Abby’s taste only more mature and sophisticated.

Latching the lock on the door closed he caught her and pulled her against the hard-wooden surface, planting his mouth firmly on hers, making it clear he wasn’t about to go back to keeping his distance, but she resisted, pushing him away playfully and putting up a warning finger at his lips with a stern look. He groaned, reaching for her again but she skirted away out of reach and climbed on the bed with a shake of the head.

He took the hint and rested back against the door, watching her with a look of amusement on his face. Folding his arms across his wide chest

‘It’s like that, is it?’ He smiled lazily, his mood a lot better than previous weeks.

‘We agreed to go elsewhere... To talk!’ She slid off her shoes, getting comfy against the overstuffed cushions and watched him shrug off the door and follow her to the bed. Kicking off his shoes too, he climbed up, laying down beside her, his hand trailing across her lap to tangle in her fingers possessively, despite her trying to keep this ‘talk’ uncomplicated she didn’t have the will power to remove his hand.

‘I meant it. It’s not because I’m drunk Rose...I got this drunk because of you... This insane ability you have to make me feel like I’m free falling whenever you’re around and I’ve lost all control...’ He looked up at her sheepishly, his eyes for once reflecting just how much he was missing her. ‘I want to try this again. I know things have to be different and I want them to be. I was an idiot to make you feel like you did, I should never have treated you like a secret that I was ashamed of. Every fight we had, I knew it was my fault, that I was losing you. So god damn stubborn and sure I could do it a better way... One where we all walked away happy.’ He let go of her hand and instead slid his hands around her waist and tugged her closer, pulling her to lay beside him so he could hook her with his legs and nuzzle into her neck to breathe her in. ‘I miss you so god damn much.’ He sighed heavily.

She looked at him thoughtfully, so many objections rising about the situation that had not changed but willing to listen, unsure what else to do.

‘Go on.’ She said quietly, wanting to hear exactly how this was going to be different.

‘It won’t be the same, Rose. I’m not that stupid to think I could ask you to do that again. To go backwards to a situation that was hurting you. I don’t want too. I’m not ashamed of us, the exact opposite in fact; I want everyone to know you’re mine, that I’m the luckiest guy in the world and show you off. After tonight, I think it’s pretty obvious I better make that clear so no more of my mates try it on. Honest to god you just attract every male eye in a fifty-mile radius.’ He lifted his chin from the hollow of her neck and glanced at her, a small glimmer of humour in his eye. ‘No more hiding baby, no more acting like we don’t mean anything to one another. I love you and I want everyone to know it.’

‘What about Morag? What do you intend to do about her, her illness?’ She was quietly taking all of this in, her face devoid of emotion and trying so hard to give her brain some quiet to really process it all.

‘I can’t let her dictate my life forever. It’s not going to be easy, but I can’t do this anymore; I kept putting her feelings before yours. I see that now and I will never do that again. Losing you Rose, was like a huge punch in the stomach. It’s the wakeup call I needed... I can live with her hating me, but I can’t live without you... I won‘t live without you.’ He laid on his back, pulling her hand onto his chest and gazed at the canopy overhead. ‘She’s not getting any better. She could be this way for the rest of my life; I’m not willing to hold my breath in the hopes she moves on and lose everything I want. Everything I need! I won’t risk losing you again.’

Rose silently watched him. Pulling together her thoughts, her brain in a whirlwind, afraid to commit just yet, afraid to say everything he wanted to hear as her heart was still afraid of being hurt by him again.

‘How do you think she will react?’ She instead responded, knowing she needed to just let this all sink in. It felt too right laid here with him, his hands on her and cosily snuggled on a bed. She couldn’t lose sight of things, she needed to be rational and think about this properly, knowing that maybe he wouldn’t be quite so sure in morning light when faced with a tearful Morag.

‘Badly. That’s what I’m worried about. She has tried before, in the past, to harm herself when I broke up with her a long time ago. There is always that fear hanging over me that this time she will succeed.’ He sighed and squeezed her fingers firmly, tugging her ever closer as though it was just not enough.

Rose did not answer but just slid down the bed further, so she was eye level with him and turned towards him, pulling his hand to her mouth and gently touching it against her lips, her usual mannerism when she needed his touch. He turned, meeting her gaze.

‘You didn’t give me an answer Penelope!’ He kissed her fingertips gently that were on the back of his own hands. He knew he didn’t really need one, lying here beside him looking at him like that. He knew he had never lost her. And it only made him hate himself more knowing that he had put her through hell, yet she could still look at him with open-eyed trust and devotion. She had no clue how just a look from her could change his whole day, his whole life.

‘I think I may run off with Damien instead. He’s far less complicated!’ She smiled wickedly and broke into howls as he quickly rolled on top of her, torturing her with tickles and threatening to break his face.

‘Damien could never keep up with you! You need a real man with a high sex drive and patience of a saint Penelope. Besides, I would never allow any other man to get near you in that way. You’re mine baby, from now until eternity.’ He buried his face in her neck again, feeling her hair on his skin and breathing her in. She jabbed him lightly in the stomach laughing at his gentle jerk reaction.

‘Why did you never tell him about us?’ He had ceased abusing her and was instead burying his face in her neck, trying to provoke a different kind of bed rolling.

‘Who?’ He didn’t raise his head. Trailing kisses across her throat and down lower to the dress neckline, pulling the thin material down slowly exposing more skin to devour.

‘Your best friend! Damien! You know the dude that I only just met!’ Rose laughed and tugged her dress back in place, he just paused and looked up smiling

‘Is this because he tried to seduce you on the dancefloor? Should I be worried and maybe actually go break his neck right now?’ Rob moved back enough so that he could lean up a little and gaze fully at her face. She raised her eyebrows and pulled her bodice up to cover the cleavage he was exposing once more with that sneaky hand. A look of mock seriousness on her gentle face.

‘Okay. okay.’ He raised his palms in defense and flopped back on the cushions in mock defeat. Sighing heavily at being refused what he really wanted to continue. His libido always ever ready because she made him crazy hot, pretty much all the time.

‘Damien and I are not so much the inseparable pair we used to be. Truth be told, I barely see him, and we barely call each other much anymore; we’re guys and we just grew apart. Not just him, the whole group of us did. He moved away, and we lost touch! I see them a few times a year and we get drunk and hang out.’ He shrugged. ‘After my mum died I just grew up a lot faster than they did. I had responsibilities to deal with and he’s not someone I would tell anymore; I guess I tell my dad the things I used to tell my mates instead... And don’t think I let it slide about the dancefloor either, missy!’

‘Excuse me! I did nothing!’ She gently slapped him in the chest and rolled again towards him getting comfy. His hand immediately coming to play with her hair by her face. Looking at her intently.

‘Still wanted to break his nose, though, then Gav’s and Mickeys too.’ He nuzzled into her jawline, trailing small kisses along the length before coming to the corner of her mouth.

‘You seriously have a lot of aggression, don’t you? Always wanting to physically assault people.’ Rose turned to him, planting a quick chaste kiss on the mouth that was teasing her and moving away again to continue conversation.

‘Only when it comes to other guys trying to touch you I do.’ Once again, he leaned over her, hand coming to rest on her cheek a moment. Staring at her silently, thoughtfully

‘I love you Rose. More than anything in the world. More than life.’ His eyes were cool calm and pale. She had learned over the weeks that this was when he was at his most unguarded, most sincere and honest. His eyes an eternal glimpse into his soul. It was so unexpected amid their gentle banter that it caused an immediate lump in her throat, tears pricked her eyes.

‘I love you too Rob. If we do this again it can’t be the same, I couldn’t go through that again. Don’t hurt me.’ She hadn’t meant to say all of that, but in a way, she wanted to tell him she was his. That she wanted him more than anything and was willing to let him try again. Another go at trying to fix this mess they had made; that she needed him just as much as he needed her, maybe more.

‘You’re my heart baby. Hurting you is like stabbing myself in the chest. I won’t do that to us anymore. I swear.’

He swooped down, kissing her in the way he had done so in the cottage earlier that day, except this time instead of painful goodbye it held far more meaning. Soft and full of longing and promise. No sexual innuendo behind it, just the desire to kiss away all the memories of her heartbreak. To be lost in her and to let her lose herself in him. It was a silent promise, wiping out all the pain of the last few weeks that he wouldn’t let her go this time.