58
The walk home in the calm early day sun was exactly what she needed. Everything seemed so surreal and dreamy and she needed the walk, to not only wake her up but to accept this was real. That everything she remembered had happened. That her now blooming, bouncing happy heart was not some mythical illusion about to be shattered by waking up.
Muffin practically devoured her on sight and only made it as far as the grass by the door before releasing a night’s worth of doggy gifts. Rose was now feeling fragile and nauseous from alcohol consumption and could barely scoop it up into one of her doggy bags. Throwing the little fur ball, a pained look and making disgusted noises. He just ignored her, sniffing at some flowers.
Rose was really beginning to suffer, and the thought of breakfast was no longer appealing. The awful after effects of alcohol reminding her why she did not drink very often. Her phone was on charge and had enough power to switch on now.
No messages from her parents yet so she left it plugged in and ran herself a bath. Her usual bath bomb dumped in and turning to a foaming lathering cream in the hot water. Even the strong normally favourite scent was making her queasy. This was going to be a long painful day; swallowing some aspirin and sipping water as she sat on the bath edge, she slowly peeled off the clothes, feeling the weariness of aching muscles. Overused in dancing and after hour workouts with Rob.
He knew how to make her body respond, finding positions she would never have dreamed of. Seeing some faint marks on her thighs and wrists from their over enthusiastic bathroom reunion made her smile, casting her mind back to the hazy memories. That scene was one for the keepsake chest and there was no way now she was going to let him go now.
The water although a little hot was a welcome soothing relief. Relaxing in and letting all the night’s smells and aches soak away. She could sleep in this bath this way right now, exhaustion finally catching up with her.
Muffin snuffled in the open door sniffing her clothes on the floor, wagging his tail at Abby’s scent. Rose watched him contentedly, smiling before closing her eyes and laying her head back. She had no intention of moving for quite some time. All she wanted to do was revel in her thoughts and feelings and ponder how everything had changed literally overnight! Enjoy the soothing water around her and nap.
Her mother sent a text at nine fifty am, informing her that instead of breakfast they would do a late afternoon lunch. Alcohol was the devils work and neither of them were fit to go anywhere so early. Rose was relieved and amused. Not only did she feel like death and gladly swapped her dress for sweatpants and a baggy shirt, but she had not heard from Rob and was beginning to seriously worry.
Concern had been building in the pit of her stomach for the last half hour. Unshakeable anxiety gnawing away. The lack of contact nibbling at her nerves no matter how much she tried to ignore it. She did not want to bother Abby, knowing she would be asleep by now and most likely dead to the world and any beeping of phones.
By eleven am she was pacing the house, looking for things to occupy herself and she had managed to fight the urge to text or call him. She needed to let him do this, give him space and time. It was complicated and delicate. He needed time to sort things out. Maybe Morag had taken it badly, far worse than he had predicted. Maybe she had broken down sobbing and he could not get away.
Maybe she had tried to hurt herself?
Oh god, what if she had done something stupid?
Rob would be absolutely devastated. The thought sent a ball of choking panic up her throat. Her body shivering involuntarily.
Another long agonising fifteen minutes later and the temptation was too much. She couldn’t stand it anymore, her mind racing with crazy thoughts and scenarios that all resulted in Morag’s death. She picked up her new fully charged phone and sent him a text
‘Is everything okay?’
She sounded calmer than she felt.
She needed to be rational about this. If Morag had done something foolish then he would have contacted her by now. It was more likely the silence meant they were still going around in circles in that room. She knew there was a chance he wouldn’t respond if that was the case. Knowing that it was most likely his phone was still in his room where she had been, and he was still in the lounge with Morag. She bit her lip feeling frustrated. Looking at the time again she figured Abby might be up and chanced it
‘Hey girl. Any word?’
When her phone rang she almost dropped it in anticipation but felt disappointment when she saw ‘Mum’ flashing on the screen ‘Hey Mum,’ she sounded deflated.
‘Hiya darling. I’m sorry to do this love but your dad’s not too well. Can’t keep much down. Do you mind if we rain check today and we will pop over tonight with some takeaway and a movie? Let him recover a bit. One last night together before we head home tomorrow?’ She sounded genuinely disappointed, but Rose was monumentally relieved.
‘Aww Mum. Sure... It’s okay. Tell dad to stay off of Mr Munro’s whisky next time.’ she laughed as her mum agreed.
They chatted briefly, vague small talk about the rest of Rose’s night at the party and Rose held back the urge to tell her about Rob. She did not want to do this over the phone and right now she wasn’t even sure Rob would make an appearance before they left tomorrow. It could wait until she knew what was going on with him and Morag, right now it was all up in the air in her head.
Saying their goodbyes moments later she ended the call and looked at her blank screen.
Fuck.
No texts or voicemails. Muffin was scraping at the door and Rose wondered if a walk to the manor was maybe an idea.
Would he be mad if she showed up?
Surely if Morag was still there she could just go straight to Abby’s room and act like that was her purpose after all. He would never be mad at her for coming back. She was being stupid. He had not wanted her to leave in the first place, she needed to keep reminding herself that things had changed. Hopefully for the better.
Her stomach fluttered with nerves, torn between walking up there and seeing for herself and staying here waiting endlessly. Somehow unable to concentrate on anything else. She rang Abby’s phone in one last attempt to get a response, but it went straight to answer machine, indicating she had it switched off.
‘God’s sake Abby!’ She cursed at her, knowing it was not her fault. She was probably asleep.
She swallowed her nerve and rang Rob’s phone. It rang out as she had expected, most likely nowhere near him or even within ear shot. It just frustrated her even more. This wall of silence.
‘Come on Muffin my lovely. I actually cannot sit here agonising any longer.’ She slid up, pulling off her casual clothes and headed to her room for a change of outfit. She still had to look good, even if he had seen her in all shades of naked.
* * *
The walk took far longer than any other time she had used this route. Or so it felt. Muffin walking slow or stopping to sniff for an age at seemingly nothing and she was beginning to get ratty with him. Knowing it was not on him that she was feeling this impatient, it was making her equally guilty and when his soft little face looked up with big brown eyes innocently, she cursed herself and told him he was a good boy.
Even with the manor in sight, it seemed to take forever to walk up the drive. Up the long grey steps and finally knock on the door. Morag’s car was still parked in the middle in an abandoned fashion, but Rob’s car was nowhere to be seen. This little detail made her uneasy and her mouth dry with anxiety.
‘Don’t jump to conclusions.’ She chastised herself inwardly as Alice answered the door with a bright smile and beckoned her in warmly.
‘They’re not here Rose. But I’m waiting on them calling if you want to wait. Abby promised to call as soon as she could and it‘s been a while since they left.’ She said warmly, assuming Rose had a clue what she was on about.
Confused and feeling a tad betrayed stupidly, her nerves tight and fraying. A huge sense of foreboding weighing heavily upon her.
‘Where are they?’ She asked quietly, emotion threatening.
‘There all at the hospital. Had a bit of a mishap here earlier. Morag did herself a nasty turn!’ Alice frowned, realising Rose had no clue and guided her inside with a gentle hand.
Rose physically paled, her stomach lurching as she grasped Alice’s arm.
