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‘No. She started sobbing and pulling at me to hold her, trying to force me into an embrace. All I could think about was you and how much it upset you letting her paw at me. I shoved her away, not wanting anyone else to be wrapped up in my arms besides you. I just couldn’t do it anymore Rose, the pretense, the patience I have had to have and all the while you have put up with so god damn much.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t make her this way.’ Rose tried to soothe him, his voice was still husky and strained.
‘She asked me if I still loved her. I was pissed, agitated and I told her I didn’t. Not anymore. That my heart belonged to the girl I wanted to be with and she was waiting for me. That I needed to go.’ Again, he paused, she could imagine him rubbing his face with tiredness, maybe even scratching his fingers through that dark cropped hair. ‘She flipped out. Threw things, attempted to slap at me and just kept screaming abuse at me. She walked off, pulling at her hair and sobbing.... I thought she was going to calm down but instead turned to the nearest side table, wiping the contents off with a crashing sweep. Glass and ceramic smashing and flying in every direction, pushing over tables. Screaming out loud how much she hated me. I tried to grab her from behind, but she broke free, lashing out at me, the air, anything close. Like a wild animal, feral and vicious and hell bent on causing harm to anything that came near her.’
‘Jesus. I have no clue what to say to that.’ Rose’s face flushed, hit with visions of Morag in all her fiery fury and tear stained manic behaviour. She shivered as it came clear and pushed it away.
‘She ran forward when she squirmed loose, falling to her knees, she landed in front of the long low glass coffee table in the center of the couches and without hesitation just smashed both her fists and arms through. It was like she just lost the plot, I saw it happen in slow motion, yet I couldn’t do anything about it, she completely just lost it. Then there was blood, a heck of a lot of blood, pouring everywhere and
I just went into auto pilot. I don’t even remember getting her here.’ By the end of his sentence his voice was strained, a sign he was getting emotional. Neither said anything or made any noise for a moment, lost in the seriousness of it.
‘Baby.’ Was the only thing Rose could finally say, aware of tears falling down her face and sniffed them back?
‘I haven’t seen her since they took her and told me she would most likely go straight into surgery. I have no idea what’s going on. It was bad Rose. The cuts were deep and long, she lost a huge amount of blood. The first hour here all I could do was console Abby. I think she’s in shock and well she’s never been good with blood and I had her holding Morag’s wrists all the way here, while I drove like a crazy man. I am pretty sure I was still too drunk to be fucking driving; so stupid with my baby sister in the car.’
‘Rob. I don’t know what to say.’ She was wiping the tears feeling a huge amount of guilt wracking through her. She just wanted to be there with him, wrapping her arms around him tightly and convincing him that this was not his fault, he sounded so defeated and deflated.
‘You don’t need to. Just hearing your voice is enough. I miss you so badly right now. I would give anything to be laid in bed with you and have none of this ever happen.’ His voice was strained, he sounded ravaged which was never a good sign with him, the master of hiding his feelings normally.
‘I miss you too. I want to be there with you so much right now...What happens now? Do you just wait? They have given no clue to what’s happening?’ Rose was trying to be logical and calm, trying to focus on details to still her washing machine nerves.
‘They took her into emergency surgery, I know that much. I’m guessing the operation is dependent on how much they have to repair. How easily they can stop the bleeding. It wasn’t just one or two huge lacerations Rose. There was a mess of slices and cuts on both arms, wrists and hands. That was a toughened table. It should never have broken as easily as it did.’
Rose felt physically sick. This was all her fault. Her silence told him what she was thinking, and he gently chided her for feeling responsible. Assuring her this had been no one’s fault, his at most, but mainly a freak accident.
‘I should have handled things better with her long before now. I should have cut the ties years ago and let her move on.’ He said regretfully.
‘You weren’t to know back then that it would evolve to how she is now, you only did what you thought was best.’ She didn’t want him to take blame right now, whether it was true or not.
‘I should never have made you hide, I should have at least told her from the start that I was falling for you. Been honest about what you were to me and maybe it would have been different.’
‘Or maybe you would have been sat in the hospital back then instead of now.’ Rose interjected, knowing that this could have happened either way. Morag was more than in love with him, she was obsessively glued to his very being and she would never have taken it well at any time.
‘No matter what the outcome of this, I’m not going back to how it was. I told you it would be different and regardless to Morag, it will be. I won’t hide us anymore Rose. I want the world to know how crazy I am for you and nothing is going to stand in my way.’
His words soothed her. His steady manner returning and voice steadying. Calming her tears and making her long for his presence even more. Her rock. Even when surrounded by the chaos he was still making her feel better.
When they regretfully ended the call, he told her he loved her. He had run out of change and Abby had appeared motioning him from the door. He had to go. Rose felt so torn. Not wanting to hang up but wanting him to go and see if there was word. Aching that he had to go, she told him she would be waiting for him no matter how long it took. Waiting here for him. He told her that was the only thing keeping him going and they disconnected.
Wandering back from his room she found Alice had moved to the grand lounge. The noise of a vacuum humming loudly in the large room and she followed, unable to be alone right now.
The sight before her caused a fresh batch of tears. The broken chaos around the side of the room and the center smashed table. Alice was concentrating on the small trinkets and frames below the huge window which had been Morag’s first wave of destruction. She was using the hoover nozzle to collect the fine broken glass and china from the surface picking through and removing large chunks and dropping them into a basket on the floor. Seeing Rose, she cut off the hoover.
‘She did it proper this time, didn’t she?’ She gave her a supportive half smile. Rose nodded in response, her eyes coming to rest on the pool of blood by the table legs and the sheer volume of it. Causing her to shiver and wrap her arms around herself; the splattering and smears on the metal frame and the glass on the floor below. Fixated and unaware of the fresh tears rolling down her face.
Alice was immediately by her side offering a handful of tissues from a gold carved box.
’Don’t you be blaming yourself now.’ She patted her back gently and gave her a half hug.
Rose glanced at the wise woman questioningly
‘Oh, Rose. I know it’s none of my business. ‘She lifted up a tendril of Rose’s hair and winked ‘Pretty brown hair you have, matches that pretty face.’ It was followed by a knowing smile.
She felt her cheeks colour.
‘I don’t know why I didn’t see it before? It’s pretty obvious now. The way he lights up whenever you’re around. The way he reacts at the mere mention of you and the way you reacted that morning when Morag flipped out. I have seen him with women before Rose, in passing, and I have never seen him linger on every word the way he does with you. I’m just amazed I didn’t put the puzzle together before.’ Her little speech interrupted by the doorbell, she squeezed Rose’s arm and left her alone. Left alone with her thoughts and the sight before her.












