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Rose had him drop her at the cottage when they got back into town. She couldn’t face the noise of the men upstairs crashing around, pulling down walls and causing chaos in their new living area. She wanted quiet, time to lay down and sleep and some space to pull herself together. She knew her head was too full of suspicion over Morag’s involvement and didn’t want to cause any more arguments; she knew she had been unfair on him, distant and self-absorbed and told him that she would come home tonight if he just let her have some head space.
He kissed her warmly, understanding that need to deal with something alone, assuring her that she was to call anytime she wanted him to come and he would. That if she wanted to stay here tonight he would too. She felt grateful, tearfully held him close as he stroked her hair gently.
‘I’m sorry I’m being this way.’ She rested her face against his chest, his hand stroking her back tenderly.
‘There is nothing to be sorry for. You’re upset and tired. Take all the time you need.’ He kissed her on top of the head gently.
‘Stop being so understanding. I know I’m being awful.’ She raised her chin to look at him, those perfect stormy grey eyes, warm and inviting, even though she was being hell on earth.
‘No more awful than I can be baby. Just try and relax. Go to bed and enjoy the quiet. I have work stuff to take care of, but I will only be a phone call away. I’ll drop anything and come over if you need me.’
‘I love you so much.’ Her voice was fierce and raw, the doubts of insecurity gnawing at her because she felt like she was pushing him away.
‘I know you do, but I love you more.’ He pinched her cheek and rested his arms about her shoulders, smiling down at her adoringly.
‘I bet you don’t.’ Rose broke into a smile, despite her aching heart, his face close and comforting and his ability to just always make her feel so safe and secure, overwhelming her.
‘I am pretty sure I could prove it.’ His eyes had started twinkling suggestively and she buried her face against him with a giggle, loving his ability to always involve sex.
‘You don’t need to prove it, I already believe you.’ She held him close, breathing in his familiar smell that was only him, before turning her chin up towards his face once more with a twinkle in her own eye. ‘Maybe you could, though, later, when I come home?’
‘Anytime.’ He laughed now, kissing her on the forehead lightly and ruffling her hair. ‘Just call me and I’ll come straight back, I promise.’
‘I just need some time, a little nap and quiet. I just need to pull myself together in normal surroundings, away from all those strangers and chaotic mess. I need to absorb everything and pack up some of Muffins things for him coming home when he’s well. It will make me feel better.’
‘They won’t be around for long, things will be more normal soon baby. Just think of our new little love nest. That’s what’s keeping me going. And a special place to keep Muffin out of harm’s way.’
‘He would like that, his own cosy corner, instead of sleeping in bed with us.’ She smiled, her heart lifting at the mention of her little fuzzy faced cutie pie, talking this way was healing her heart and giving her hope that he would be coming home soon.
‘I agree with that. Too many males in our bed currently and I’m not one for sharing.’ He kissed her again, lingering a moment, his hand on her throat softly, holding her face in place so he could gaze at her before moving up to release her.
He gave her a light hug by the door and she watched him drive away smoothly. A sense of loneliness and a moment of doubt, wondering if she should wave him to stop and stay with her after all. She stopped herself, pushing it down. She needed some quiet and space if she was going to pull herself together and she had to do it alone. Had to stop raking her head over and over, mentally torturing herself, sure that Morag was involved and letting it pull them apart.
The sight of Muffin’s little chew toy under the chair made her cry, wandering the rooms, pulling out all his little treasures and bones that he loved to push under the furniture. She piled them all into a box, finding his spare fluffy bed and packing it up with them. When he came home she wanted him settled and safe in her room, surrounded by familiar things, smothered with love. She packed all his cans of food from the cupboard, his treats and spare chews. Somehow it made her feel better, more positive, that packing his little things for his return was reminding her that he was really going to be okay. She didn’t want him at this cottage anymore; the safety and security was tarnished here. She wanted him to never set foot here again, away from the watchful eye of Alice and Tommy in the manor gardens.
Maybe it was time for her to finally remove all traces of their time here together, pack up anything she wanted and close this place up. Let her parents use it as a place to stay when they visited.
All the charm and stability ruined, it felt as though it was dirty; that somehow believing that woman had walked over her grounds, laying a trap for her little dog had marred the very core of this place and it was no longer her beloved cottage.
She was tired, over emotional and not thinking straight. Rob was right. But for now, standing there in the room, she just wanted to pack it all up and say goodbye and never come here again.
Her mind made up, she found boxes and bags in the outhouse and laid them on the lounge floor. She knew she would be hopeless at organising everything without some sleep and headed through to her bedroom to take a nap first. A surge of heat and happiness at the familiar sight which held so many memories for her and Rob, making her feel a little less desolate.
Moving across the padded comforter and curling up in the plush cushions, allowing her mind to wander across every cherished moment, every memory, times he had made love to her in this bed. Sad that they would probably never venture down here again and if they did it would be brief and sporadic. She no longer needed or wanted this space around her.
Focusing on his voice inside her head, she closed her eyes. His face in her mind’s eye making her calm, he made her feel like everything was going to be okay and even though she had chosen to be here alone, she suddenly missed him more than ever.
She cast her mind back to the first time she saw him, the first moments and angry encounter. The way he had yanked open her car door aggressively, but not to yell, to ask if she was okay because he thought she had been injured by the near miss of his car. Those cool grey eyes and tanned handsome face, mere inches away; she had been too angry to really notice just how gorgeous a specimen he really was in those fiery few minutes. She recalled how her heart had pounded from her chest and it only made her want to bash him in his stupid head, an instant reaction that she never understood until much later; the sparks between them.
Her mind wandered forward to the first kiss in this very cottage, that brief unexpected grazing of his lips against hers, so natural and automatic and now something he had done a million times in exactly the same way. Still, each time making her breathless and light headed as though she was born to be kissed by him.
The first time he carried her to this bed, the anticipation, the fear and the overwhelming desire for him. He still made her feel like every time, as though it was the first time over and over; never tiring of her body and never ceasing to evoke that same passion from her. She loved him more than she could bear.
The ups and downs of their rollercoaster relationship, when her world was falling apart, and Morag controlled everything they did. The makeup and the break ups, she cringed at the memory of throwing his ring back at him stupidly, she groaned as she remembered it clearly.
All of it was behind them, ready to face a new chapter, a new life.
A marriage.
She had never imagined that the day she arrived here so long ago, seeing that chipped overgrown mess and wondering what she had done, that she would fall head over heels in love with someone like him. She didn’t deserve him. His patience, his strong protective instincts and generous heart. His hard, hot body, carved and toned, strong and male. His flawless chiselled face and dark looks. The ability to change his eyes depending on his mood. She would never tire of those eyes and their ever-changing depths. That face, that mouth. His ability to spin her upside down with a touch, bring her to the verge of complete meltdown, aching for his body to join with hers. He could do it all with just a look when it suited him, and he knew just how to play her in every way, instinctively tuned to her wavelength.
He had come into her life, turning it all upside down from day one, changing everything for the better, even when things didn’t seem that way. And she knew that no matter what, she would follow him to the ends of the earth. She would do anything to protect what they had. She wouldn’t let that woman come between them anymore, she wouldn’t let that woman hurt her family, her dog or her relationship. She would fight claw and tooth to make sure that from this moment on this was not just on Rob; it was not just his duty to protect her, but it was hers too. To protect him and their life together as much as he did; a partnership.
It made her more determined to end this chapter under this roof. To finally dedicate the entirety of her time to the manor; no more running down here, no more using it as a hideout. She would need to deal with the chaos at the house, knowing it wouldn’t be forever. It would be worth it all to finally have somewhere they could call theirs and theirs alone. To be able to close the door and hole up in the privacy and solitude of the haven he was creating for her. To be with him every moment from now until death, to be content with a whole future ahead of them and everything that held.
She finally drifted off to sleep, lost in the thoughts and whirlwind of emotions stirred up by this long epic journey to this moment. The friends she had made, the life she had carved out here and the happiness it all brought her in the end, despite the turmoil. All of it had made her stronger.
Lost in the darkness of a comforting slumber, finally taking her exhausted mind to a deep dark place to relax and unwind, much needed zoning out time to reset her switch and set her mangled thoughts adrift.
Undisturbed she slept soundly for hours.
