Chapter 99 What the hell?! He’s really my brother?!

This "tap water" is certainly not Jiraiya's younger brother, but was created by Naruto using the Thousand Changes.

Naruto's purpose in doing this is nothing more than to sit back and wait for something to happen.

At this moment, Naruto was 100% sure that the old man in front of him who was running to the roof to peek under the name of "Orochimaru" was the "rabbit" he was waiting for - Jiraiya.

"Hehehe~ I think Orochimaru and Jiraiya have worked together for many years, but I have never heard him say that he has a younger brother."

Jiraiya's forced smile was so funny to Naruto that he had to use all his strength to suppress the corners of his mouth.

"Well, of course my brother never mentioned me to you, because even he himself doesn't know that he has a brother like me."

Jiraiya: [Ah, yes, yes, you are right... I really don't know when my long-dead father gave me such a big brother...]

"Oh? Since even Jiraiya himself doesn't know...then how can you prove that you are Jiraiya's brother?"

"Don't worry, I'll tell you in detail...

It was a dark and windy night, my drunken father, Jiraiya's father, ran into my mother's bedroom in a daze;

The two of them made love without knowing what was going on, and then they had me without knowing what was going on..."

Click~

Kushina, hiding in the dark, crushed the wooden decoration standing beside her.

Everyone in Akatsuki: →_→……

Sigh...it seems like Naruto has to take this beating~

"My dad...wasn't Jiraiya's dad that brave and fierce back then?!"

Jiraiya's eyes widened and he looked at Naruto in disbelief.

"Of course, my dad even wrote a song about this. Let me sing it to you...

...If you didn't know how many drinks I had that day,

You won’t know how beautiful you really are;

I wouldn't believe it when I first saw you.

I love you so simply...

This is the best punishment for impulse..."

Naruto stood on the roof and howled like a ghost, which scared Jiraiya so much that he shuddered violently.

Jiraiya: ?_?……

Jiraiya didn't know that his seemingly honest father had the talent of writing songs.

"Is it nice? I'll sing it for you again...suck~"

Seeing Naruto, who was still unsatisfied, taking a deep breath and preparing to howl again with his tuneless and broken voice, Jiraiya quickly stopped him.

"Stop, stop, stop. Let's first talk about how Jiraiya doesn't know that he has a brother like you."

"Oh well."

Naruto nodded happily and then spoke seriously.

"As for why my brother doesn't know of my existence, it all comes down to... my father."

Jiraiya: (ー_ー)!!

"When that incident happened, Jiraiya was already born;

In order to maintain the harmony of the original family, my father never made this matter public... To put it bluntly, he did not give my mother and me a reasonable status.

As for my mother... She is a love-brained person, and her mind is completely focused on my father, that old scumbag. She has never thought of going to my father's house to fight for her.

...After all this, Jiraiya never knew that he had a younger brother like me~"

Click~

Everyone in Akatsuki: →_→……

This is already the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth…nine wooden decorations that Kushina has crushed. If she continues to crush them…she will probably only be able to crush the load-bearing pillars in the hot spring shop…

Jiraiya: ?_?……

"...I know a little bit about Jiraiya's father...

I'm not sure if he is the scumbag you mentioned, but what I can be sure of is that he has never left Konoha Village in his life...

So if that's the case...you're also from Konoha Village?

This is not right, I, Orochimaru, have also lived in Konoha Village for many years... How come I have never seen you? ! "

"Oh~ that's another story..."

Naruto was not at all flustered and began to make up stories seriously again.

"When I was seven years old, my fiancée, who had been betrothed to me since childhood, suddenly came to my house with someone to break off the engagement because she despised my humble background..."

"Qiudou Madai~ Where did you get your arranged fiancée?"

Since Watson has successfully found the blind spots in Naruto's words.

[Did my father find it for him?]

I can’t… I, the eldest son, don’t even have one, so how can he, an illegitimate son, have the treatment of a “betrothed wife”? ! 】

Jiraiya was thinking angrily in his heart, but unknowingly put himself into the role of "Tap Water's brother".

"Emm... Don't worry about these details~

In the end, my mother was so angry that she died. I was so angry that I said to my fiancée:

Thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi. Don’t bully young people into poverty!

Then he made a three-year agreement with her, agreeing to fight her to death after three years.

From then on, I left my hometown and Konoha, traveled all over the ninja world to find famous teachers to learn from, and learned skills that shocked the world and made ghosts cry...

After three years, I will forcefully enter my fiancée’s house, and then…”

Kushina: ??(◣д◢)?! ! !

[Okay, okay, Uzumaki Naruto~

Your mother must have been mad at me, right?... I think it was you who mad me to death!

...No! I can't stand it anymore, I'm going to rush out and beat him up right now! 】

Just before Kushina went berserk, Nagato, who had already noticed that Kushina was in a bad mood, increased his chakra output in time to prevent Kushina's chakra from being exposed to Jiraiya's perception.

The others also hurriedly grabbed the runaway Kushina to prevent her from rushing out and beating Naruto.

"Calm down, Kushina. Jiraiya hasn't stepped into the trap yet...don't be impulsive!"

"Yes, yes, you can beat Naruto anytime you want, just catch Jiraiya first..."

Kushina: (▼へ▼メ)! ! !

"I can't stand it even a little bit! Now... wuwuwu?!"

Kushina was dragged away by everyone covering her mouth.

"Then what happened?! Did you beat your fiancée?!

You are talking halfway... Be careful of the Thousand Year Death Warning~"

Jiraiya couldn't help but feel anxious about the "tap water".

Naruto: ?_?... Why does Jiraiya also know the move "Thousand Years of Death"? !

"Then I discovered that my fiancée's family accidentally contracted the plague and died during the month when we broke off the engagement...

Since then, I, Jiraiya's half brother, have been wandering in the ninja world without a home or a goal. "

Jiraiya: Fuck! Fuck! That's it?!

……

"You've said so much, but you still can't come up with any solid evidence to prove that you are Jiraiya's brother...

I, Orochimaru, have reason to suspect that you are pretending to be my best friend Jiraiya's younger brother in an attempt to deceive me..."

Jiraiya gave Naruto a meaningful look.

Until now, Jiraiya didn't believe a word of what this "tap water" in front of him said.

However, I have to admit that the story of "Tap Water" is well written, at least much more exciting than "Intimate Paradise" written by him himself.

[It has been decided. My next book will be called “Intimacy Strategy: My Brother, Tap Water”. This book will tell the love story between “Tap Water” and his fiancée… hehehe…]

"Oh, you want evidence, right? Why didn't you tell me earlier~"

Naruto turned his back to Jiraiya, then suddenly took off his pants, exposing his snow-white buttocks in front of Jiraiya.

Jiraiya: ヽ(?? ?)?!!!

"What the…f*ck are you doing?!"

"Do you believe it this time?"

"You are really my brother?!"