Chapter 1024: Fear of losing control

Suddenly, Li Xiangqian's heartbeat quickened, and a feeling of uneasiness surged into his heart. That familiar feeling involuntarily made him feel more anxious than ever before. He slowly approached his wife, his voice carrying a hint of unconscious coldness, "Xue, what are you doing?"

Lin Xue raised her head, her eyes gentle and calm, "I'm distributing some food. Some neighbors had some difficulties a few days ago, and I thought I'd help if I could."

This sentence hit Li Xiangqian's heart like a heavy hammer, and he was stunned. Everything in his mind seemed to stop, and his wife in front of him was still gentle and calm, as if nothing had happened. Li Xiangqian stared at the bags of grain that had been packed, and a wave of anger and disappointment rose in his heart. He did not get angry immediately, but took a deep breath and forced himself to stay calm, his tone still low: "Why did you give away these grains? Do you know how precious these grains are now?"

Lin Xue's face was not panicked at all. She looked at Li Xiangqian with tenderness in her eyes. "I know these grains are important. I also know that every bag of grain you saved was not easy. But I can't bear to see people in need among my neighbors." She put down the bag in her hand, walked towards Li Xiangqian, and gently held his hand. "You work so hard every day. I know you have contributed a lot to your family, but sometimes, helping others is also what we should do, especially in this season. Food may mean more to others."

Li Xiangqian's heart was churning. He instinctively wanted to refute, but he didn't know where to start. He knew that his wife's heart was not wrong. Her kindness had made him feel warm countless times, but today's scene made him feel an unspeakable loss and anger. The food that he had worked so hard to save was just distributed like this, as if nothing else mattered. He stared at his wife's clear eyes, and his heart couldn't help but ache.

"Xue, you know very well that this little food is the guarantee of our survival, why did you make such a decision without my consent?" Li Xiangqian's voice was low, with a hint of reproach, and he almost gritted his teeth when speaking every word.

Lin Xue didn't seem angry. Instead, she sighed softly and looked down at the floor. "I know you'll be angry, but don't you understand? Why should we hold on to the food that we can't finish? We have plenty, but others can barely afford to eat. Do you know how sad I am to see those neighbors in trouble? They don't have as much as we do. I just want to do my part." Her tone was calm and gentle, but Li Xiangqian felt as if his heart was being pressed down by something, becoming heavier and heavier.

"You've distributed the grain. Do you think I haven't done enough?" Li Xiangqian began to get a little excited. He didn't even realize that his voice had risen a few notches. "You know our lives are not easy now. Every grain of rice and every bag of grain is a guarantee for our livelihood! Why did you make such a decision without telling me?"

Lin Xue frowned slightly, with a hint of confusion in her eyes. "Xiang Qian, I understand your feelings, but have you never thought about how much warmth our help can bring to others at this time? Just because we can live well doesn't mean we can ignore others. Sometimes, a little help is far more important than we think."

Li Xiangqian suddenly felt powerless. He looked into his wife's sincere eyes, and his heart was filled with complex emotions that he couldn't express. He knew that everything his wife did was out of kindness, but he didn't realize that when she made these decisions, she didn't take into account his worries and anxieties.

He paused for a moment, his tone silent, "You know I'm not against helping others, but why do you always make decisions without my knowledge? Have you ever thought about what I'm thinking?"

Lin Xue was silent for a moment, her eyes dimmed, and finally she sighed softly, "Go forward, I know you have your own concerns, but we are not cold-blooded people, right? In life, there are some things we can bear together and share together, isn't it?"

Li Xiangqian was still in a state of panic. He looked up at the warm lights in the room, as if it had nothing to do with him. Finally, he sighed deeply and softened his tone, "Okay, Xue, since you have made your decision, I won't say anything." His voice was a little tired, as if he didn't have the energy to argue anymore.

Li Xiangqian was silent for a while, watching his wife Lin Xue lower her head to sort out the grain bags, and an inexplicable emotion surged in his heart. He had never doubted or denied his wife's kindness and tenacity. She was always so gentle and patient, as if she could turn all the difficulties in life into warm sunshine. However, today, facing her action of distributing grain without his knowledge, he felt unprecedented anger and uneasiness in his heart.

He never thought he would be so angry. Li Xiangqian knew that this anger was not all directed at Lin Xue. It was more about the anxiety in his heart about his life and future, and the fear that everything would get out of control. For him, every grain of food was not only a guarantee of food and clothing, but also a testimony of his hard work. He often felt that these seemingly insignificant things carried all his hopes and efforts.

Lin Xue seemed to sense Li Xiangqian's mood swings. She raised her head slightly, a trace of heartache flashing in her eyes. "Xiangqian, what's wrong with you?" Her voice was a little soft, but a little tentative. "If you feel uncomfortable, we can discuss it again. I understand your feelings."

Li Xiangqian took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The argument with He Yuzhu today kept coming to his mind. He couldn't help but wonder, if these things were really not that important, then what was he anxious about? He shook his head gently and forced himself to calm down. "It's okay, Xue. I know you did it for the good of the family. Maybe I am a little too stubborn." After he said this, he was a little unsure whether he should continue to say this. I always felt that the uneasy feeling in my heart became stronger as soon as I said it.