Chapter 182 Almost out of control

"nothing."

Sasuke's eyes were unfocused, seemingly lost in thought, but Sakura didn't push him again.

She waited patiently, her bright eyes full of curiosity, because she knew him and she was always so understanding.

"Do you think Hokage-sama would care?" he asked finally.

Sakura understood what he meant and shrugged, a sly smile on her face, because she - as mentioned before - was always so understanding.

"You shouldn't mind it too much, right? It doesn't feel good?" She asked, more of a confirmation than a question.

"Yeah, not great," Sasuke agreed.

******

This was the third time in the space of an hour that Kakashi had been forced to ask the Hokage for leave.

Kurenai had begun to give him worried looks, and the ninjas from the Hidden Cloud Village were beginning to eye him with suspicion, but he had no choice.

He leaned against the wall of the empty corridor outside the Hokage's box, trying his best to remain calm.

Kakashi's wrists and forearms were still itchy and hot where his seals had been, and it felt like a limb that had been deprived of blood flow for a long time, with constant tingling in the nerves. He resisted the urge to scratch - it was a pain brought by an illusion, but even this level of pain was enough to test his self-control, which had already reached its limit.

Perhaps he had underestimated the power that Kushina's seal could block.

His usual iron control was doing its best to suppress the turbulent chakra in his body - his fingers twitched spasmodically, as if an inadvertent movement would release an electric current that would rush along his arm muscles and through every joint in his spine. He had thought the biggest challenge would be the pain - but although the pain flowing through his veins was clearly audible, this was not the reason he was struggling.

His chakra was like a raging river now, a twisted, violent force he had never been prepared to face, swimming through his fingers like an electric eel, ignoring the rules that were supposed to bind and control it.

For years it had been growing uncontrollably, growing wild, and without his guidance and restraint it began to rebel - like something possessed, fighting him in every part of his body.

He grabbed his right wrist with his other hand and rubbed it hard until the bones rubbed against each other, making a crackling sound, but the lightning still jumped uncontrollably on his fingertips, wildly and savagely.

This was completely different from his childhood; he had never imagined that this bound power could be so strong, damn - how could he have known that as he gradually mastered the power of the seal, this power was also growing and growing, like a desert flood, accumulating more and more terrifying pressure behind the sealing dam built by Kushina.

Her seal must have been a work of art, only in this way could it have held back this power - this intoxicating yet violent power that obeyed no one, refused to be bound or controlled, and roared like a storm named after the bad temper of a god.

He needed to control it, he had to control it, he needed a weapon, not a disaster.

"Kakashi?"

When he heard someone calling his name, he looked up suddenly, his heart filled with uneasiness.

His attention was distracted to such an extent that he couldn't even notice someone approaching?

But his uneasiness was quickly replaced by relief when he saw those familiar, gentle brown eyes and hooked nose, a relief so great that he couldn't help but sigh.

"Iruka."

The Chuunin teacher's eyes were filled with confusion and concern, and his presence was too familiar, too safe, and too friendly for Kakashi to subconsciously choose not to be defensive against him.

"What are you doing here?" Iruka asked, looking him up and down, his sharp eyes landing on Kakashi's slightly hunched shoulders and his clenched hands. "Are you okay?"

"That depends on how you define 'good'," Kakashi admitted, knowing that lying to Iruka was pointless and unwise. "I just... need a little time."

Iruka hesitated for only a second before rushing over, dropping the folder in his hand at his feet and reaching for Kakashi's arm, which he was holding tightly.

Kakashi instinctively flinched back, trying to avoid his touch - because he was afraid of hurting Iruka, one of the few people he could call a friend, but Iruka simply raised an eyebrow as if reprimanding a misbehaving student, and reached out again, grabbing his arm.

Kakashi let him do this, against his own will.

He knew the contact between the two would definitely surprise Iruka, but there was no pain on Iruka's face, only confusion, and he looked down at Kakashi's wrist, turning his hand from side to side, observing it carefully.

"Your skin feels like you just hugged a live wire this morning," Iruka chided, deft fingers searching his wrist for a pulse. "Your heart is beating so fast...what the hell is going on—" He stopped abruptly, his fingers sliding down Kakashi's forearm and pressing hard against his temple. "You have a fever?"

"Maybe," Kakashi replied vaguely, closing his eyes to fight the stinging pain from where Iruka had touched him. "I haven't had time to check yet."

Iruka's brows furrowed tightly, his earthy brown eyes gleaming with worry, and his hand moved from Kakashi's forehead to his carotid artery.

Kakashi knew Iruka was checking his chakra, but he couldn't imagine what his chakra flow was like right now—it was chaotic, clear evidence of his lack of control—but he could feel Iruka's gaze, and even with his eyes closed he could feel its sharpness.

"Kakashi." Iruka's voice was low and soft, "What did you do?"

It was a difficult question to answer, even for Iruka, so he chose the simplest answer:

"I have to do it."

Iruka was silent for a long moment, as if digesting his answer.

Then, he slowly loosened his hand, resting his palm lightly on the back of Kakashi's head, and his fingers loosened as well, allowing Iruka to see his frantic chakra unhindered, watching it rush through his body like lightning on a chain.