Chapter 273 The person who does not exist
The sky was overcast with dark clouds, and a light grey light made a silent hum as it streaked across the solemn monument to the heroes.
It was already uncountable how many times he had stood in front of the monument to pay his respects. Hatake Kakashi skillfully placed the small white flowers he had picked on the road in front of the monument.
At first, he would count the days.
Later, as the visits became more frequent, he no longer kept track of them.
Ever since sixteen years ago, there has been a strange heavy feeling weighing on his heart.
I can’t describe what it feels like.
Lonely? Sad? Angry?
There is no way to describe this complex emotion.
Whenever he walked on a road, ate some food, or saw others doing something, he would always have a strong sense of déjà vu.
It seemed like he had been to this place with someone before, it seemed like he had eaten this delicacy with someone before, it seemed like he had done this kind of thing with someone before...
The strong sense of familiarity seemed to be hanging on him, as if he could grasp this thread of thought if he thought about it carefully.
But when he racked his brains to recall, the inspiration would cunningly slip away and disappear when he was helpless.
An existence that has never been clearly thought out, yet seems to have been lost countless times.
He could only keep telling himself that the person he thought he was did not exist at all, that he was overthinking, or that it might be an illusion caused by his recent excessive thinking.
His memories from childhood were very coherent, without any unclear or fragmentary parts.
Even if God asked him to insert someone into his first half of life, he wouldn't know where to start.
So, this person definitely doesn't exist...
In order to suppress his inexplicable emotions, Hatake Kakashi even tried to stop visiting the memorial.
But when he thought about not being able to go there today, he felt like ants were crawling all over his body, and anxiety and uneasiness accumulated little by little until they completely consumed him.
That day, he didn't even care about his Anbu mission and went to the memorial to stay there all night.
The night's dampness penetrated deep into his bones, and the rustling of insects and the shrill cries of birds penetrated his brain.
But he still stayed there stubbornly.
Like an abandoned wild cat, he huddled up beside the memorial stone, seeking a meager sense of security.
There was always an inexplicable urge in his chest that wanted to burst out, to vent all his melancholy and sadness.
But there is no such person as an outlet for venting.
Therefore, he could only hold back all his inexplicable emotions and be depressed and silent alone.
I don’t know if it was because God took his deep longing for her into consideration that he actually saw this person in his dream one day.
She is a beautiful girl.
It is a lively and brilliant soul.
Hatake Kakashi himself didn't know how he could tell that she was beautiful from the blurry image.
In the dream, this unclear and unknown girl always liked to talk to him.
"Kakashi!"
"Are you unhappy today Kakashi?"
"Kakashi, pay attention to me..."
After waking up, everything in the dream became sticky and chaotic, ignoring his eagerness and pleas to stay, and turned into smoke and dissipated.
For a long time, he was addicted to sleeping.
Apart from his work in the Anbu, he would sleep whenever he had time. Sometimes he would even eat a few bites of his meal before going to bed.
If he can't sleep or has insomnia, he will become more anxious.
He desperately wanted to dream about her again.
But it was too difficult, and he dreamed of her only a few times.
Therefore, after that, whenever he dreamed of her again, Hatake Kakashi no longer stood there staring at her stupidly, nor did he ask who she was even though he knew she would not answer.
He learned to calm down and be with her.
Listen to her wild words and then respond with words that will make her happy.
"Kakashi, is the weather nice outside?"
"It's okay. Maybe tomorrow will be a sunny day like you like."
"Kakashi, is the fried fish I made delicious?"
"It's delicious, much better than what I cook."
"Kakashi, am I pretty?"
"Beautiful, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen."
"Kakashi, will you remember me?"
"I...want to remember."
As time went by, he soon noticed that the intervals between his dreams of her were getting longer.
Sometimes, I don’t dream about her once a month.
After that, he never dreamed of her again.
Along with it, all the previous dreams about her turned into dust and disappeared with the wind.
He became more silent and lifeless.
After an unknown number of years, Uchiha Obito ended his training journey and returned to Konoha with his master.
When Uchiha Obito came to see him, he couldn't believe how he had become like this.
Kakashi Hatake couldn't answer him because he didn't know what to answer.
Yeah, how did he become what he is now...
Uchiha Obito is a fool with a strong sense of justice. Not only did he pester him to quit the Anbu, he also often dragged him and Nohara Rin on missions together.
It was as if they had returned to the time when they were a team of three.
With the two of them by his side, Hatake Kakashi felt much better, and even somewhat nostalgic for the time spent with them.
But he didn't seem to deserve happiness.
Uchiha Obito disappeared while on a solo mission.
Hatake Kakashi left the village and searched for a long time, ignoring the dissuasion of others, searching for him almost day and night, but to no avail.
As he and Nohara Rin stood in the Hokage's office reporting, their faces were gloomy.
Minato Namikaze asked him whether Uchiha Obito had any abnormal behavior or said anything before he disappeared.
Hatake Kakashi shook his head.
The room was silent again.
After leaving the office, Nohara Rin murmured in a low voice: "If we can't find him again, Obito...may be certified dead."
The fine silver hair obscured Kakashi Hatake's expression. He said nothing and clenched his fists.
Actually he lied.
Before Uchiha Obito disappeared, he came to see him, with intense emotions in his eyes that he could not understand.
He rushed over and grabbed Kakashi Hatake's collar, pulling it mercilessly so hard that it caused Kakashi's neck to hurt.
His tone was filled with anger as he shouted at Hatake Kakashi.
"Weren't you the one who always stayed with her before?"
"Why? Why didn't you protect her?!"
"If I had known this would happen, I shouldn't have trusted you in the first place! I shouldn't have entrusted her safety to you!"
Uchiha Obito clenched his teeth, his furrowed brows were filled with anger that was ready to explode, and his hands were gripping his collar so tightly that veins appeared on them.
Hatake Kakashi's pupils constricted, and he didn't care about his sudden outburst.
He asked anxiously, "What did you say? Who is she you are talking about?"
Uchiha Obito's inexplicable words just hit upon the confusion he had always had, and Hatake Kakashi wanted to know the truth more eagerly than he did.
It’s so close... He will soon know who she is!
***
Gratitude list as of July 2024, 7:
grateful--
A handsome cat. A reminder for updates
Frog Frog. The Bobo milk tea I gave you
Corrupted flower buds, crane trees?(????,.Winter warm sun. A love letter from you
Xiaoge is the best. Give it a thumbs up.
The writer Passerby A teacher updated the kick, Mu Xue Shu Yu, the Anperla star of Yancheng Mountain Island, Jiu You Yu, Yutsutsu Yuta Du Wei, the cold and lonely clay figurines, Sanhao Squirrel, Jin Xiula of Nanning, Yuan Wei ＾, Yi Su Yuan, please eat strawberries~, A Yu Zhen Di C, Yan Yi Yue, the healing unicorn between the electric fire and light, and the love power generation x3
Babuzel, a summer oil Jie, fighting Ajuan, Sliver_w, dkdk. Send love to generate electricity x2
Username, likes long waist tuna Naga, tsukijia, mist purple cloud, piano lacquer worker, early summer. Starry sky, crane tree? (????, Clavicies, is a whale duck, Sakurai snow., I don't believe this pen name can still exist, no cloud up and down, Baishihuitong, Yu & Jiuci, ?★★●? sent with love power
Thank you for the gifts! The author is so touched! Kakashi sent a pure white flower (? ? ? ? )??
