No one stays

I am running like an insane creature as I don't know where I will end up but I want to run away from here, from this new feeling, I want to escape and hide somewhere where no one can find me

I ran out from his mansion and approach his main gate, I saw guards and security training, when they all Noticed my face their expression turned into concern, I gasped as I am breathing for air like I ran the marathon,

"Open the gate," I told them but they all looked at each other

"I said open the bloody gate," I snapped to them

"Mam, I think you must go inside the mansion," One man in his mid-thirties said to me with a kind and soft expression

I shook my head panicking, "Open the damm gate," I told them angrily, finally, they opened it and I ran out from there

like I saw a ghost

I felt the need to move almost without end; if my limbs were moving the anxiety was gone, or at least I could ignore it for a while. As the trees and deserted roads passed, I could lose myself in nature, much like in a dream. It was only inside walls that I knew it was still there, coursing through my veins as if it hitched a ride on my blood cells

While running, my leg hit something and I fell hard on the ground crying, I felt pain in my knees and elbows soon blood started coming from there, it is bruised

"I can't be in love, I am scared if this feeling I have for lucifer is loved"

No, I have to control my heart it can't fall in love especially with lucifer

I am sitting near the river of deserted area, how long I don't know but now even tears are also dried from my eyes

I wish I could tell someone everything, pour my heart because it's killing me from inside, why I am so scared of falling in love,

I think I am afraid to be in love because no one stays in my life, first my biological parents my s me in an orphanage thinking of me as the burden

Flashback

I still remember 6 years old me clutching Mr.Teddy Bear so tightly while sitting in the cab with my mother then cab stops at some sort of building my mom climbed off from cab helping me to come out then she pulled out my bag which have my clothes and my necessary things

"Momma, are we going on vacation," I asked her but she didn't say anything she is behaving so weird to me

Then the gate of that building opened, I saw so many children's some of the same age as my age some are older than me some women are taking care of them when she saw us she smiled kindly and comes towards us

"Hello My pretty girl what is your name," she asked me "Damaris" I shyly answered

Then she and my mother started talking about something and a girl comes towards me she had light brown hair is in a ponytail and wearing a Pink frock comes and smiled beautifully at me " Hi " she said smiling widely at me and I smiled the same cheerful to her "Friends " she asked and I nodded excitedly

She took my hand and we runs towards the garden where different types of swings are there

We are playing having fun and suddenly I saw my mother giving my bag and some money to that woman and going out of the building, I panicked and started running towards her but she already crossed the main gate

Then I stop when I saw a beautiful and expensive-looking car stop and a man comes out of that car he is wearing a beautiful suit like I saw rich menswear in magazines "I leave her now I can live with you " she spoke to him and he nodded coldly to her

My mother sits in his car and car with him started driving but I ran towards it to catch it to talk to my mother but I fall on the harsh road my knees and elbow bleeds but I don't care, I sobbed looking in that direction where that car is just gone.

Flashback ends.

No one stays in my life, my mother, my friends no one

my mother leaves me in the orphanage, I don't know where is she now, and that girl who is my first friend in an orphanage, I didn't remember her name but she is also gone after two days as she is adopted by a family

I spend my childhood in sorrow, distress, pain, alone which shatters every hope of new happiness in my life that's the reason, I am so scared to fall in love because I know he will also leave me like everyone did no one stays in my damn life

I cried again hysterically sitting near river water

I pulled out my phone and called Xander.

************

"Here take this," Xander said while giving me Warm coffee

I took it and took a sip of it while he apply Oilment to my bruised elbow and Knees so carefully so that it couldn't hurt me

"You know Iris, I want to slap you very hard, " He said angrily to me when he finished applying ointment to my wounds

I looked at him coldly " May I know why idiot" I asked him

he shook his head and hugged me, I hugged him back "How Can you be such a careless girl at least take care of yourself what if something big accident happened to you," He spoke to me while soothing my back

I pulled myself back and shook my head "I don't want to feel this for Lucifer, I don't wanna be in love with him, Xander," I murmured and Xander cupped my face gently and wiped away my tears, and kissed my cheeks

"Take rest sleep we will talk later," he told me while I nodded laying down, but again a lone tear falls from my eyes, making my eyes burn because it hurts, so much, noticing this Xander comes towards me and wiped it away softly and laid beside me hugging me, I put my head over his chest, he kissed my forehead and we fell asleep there.

I am wake up by noises coming from the living room Xander what is the matter, soon I noticed I am alone in Xander's bedroom

where is he

I quickly went there and my eyes widened.