37. I want Jules' Life.

Sofia.

I tiptoed into Jules’ room as I fantasized about how I would definnitely become its new inhabitant when it all falls in place between Deangelo and I, the ultimate dream of mine since forever.

I tiptoed in, so as not to disturb the prints in the carpet from her oh-so graceful feet. I gazed in envy at the numerous beautiful hardback books that her husband had given her; they had never been read and simply collected dust and had stood in piles. It made me bitter when I thought of the tattered copies of the classics I had scavenged for at jumble sales and the efforts I made to return the library books I so frequently borrowed.

Paper shopping bags from expensive shops, many still with new yet unworn designer garments hung off door handles and bed posts, reminiscent of the countless shopping trips Jules would make. My tiptoeing feet stepped over the the boxes that had her belongings and I glared at the beautiful things she had, at the silver jewelled necklaces that would glint, even in the dark, at the photos of her, her family and her friends including me in elegant frames and at the luxurious cosmetics, adorning her vast dressing table.

As I reminisce about it all, I wondered whether if I looked closely into the opened containers of face cream, I would be able make out where her finger had been and on her hairbrushes, I could still see one or two strands of golden brown hair, so different from my own auburn-coloured hair such that as soon as she died, I decided to always dye mine too in hope that it would catch Deangelo’s fancy just as hers did.

I glanced through the carefully arranged papers on her desk, the sketches and paintings, so competently done with such skill and then traced her rough pencil lines with my finger, so jealous of her extraordinary talent. And then I stood in front of her vast royal mirror and wish that, instead of seeing a small and wannabe Jules who wants Deangelo by all means that I was Jules instead, the Luna of the Ferrari pack. That I was her with her lovely hair and her flawless face and I had this room and her life, forever.

All my life, I was told that Jules was the pretty one, the stunning, the belle of everything. And I? I was just the mousy bookworm sitting in the corner, while my numerous aunts and cousins gather around my best friend and sister like ants to a Nutella sandwich. Of course, Jules was prettier than I was... but it wasn't at all fair for them to cluster closely around her at all times, and this includes the one time I remember vividly. The one day when I discovered that I wanted to be her in anyway that I could.

This faithful day, we were both bridesmaid at my auntie's wedding, not even hers. They dusted on cool shimmery eyeshadow on Jules eyes, painted her lips with gloss, and curled her long blonde locks. Meanwhile, I, the actaul bridesmaid who had brought her along with, had to make do with one of my cousins while all the other people, including the bride and my mom primped and polished Jules.

I huffed in my seat, as my cousin tried to beautify me. Jules had turned around and smiled, showing off her pearly never get cavities whites, and flipped back her hair. "You look so pretty!" She cooed, like I was some baby and not literally older than she was by a whole year. "I love how the color looks on you! You look like a little angel." She smiled, sweeter then sugar.

"I'm not a baby! I am older than you are, remember?" I exploded, puffing up my chest.

"Sorry, bestie!" She giggled, as she adjusted her sleeves. She was literally in a perpetually good mood after being elected prom queen for the 2nd time in a roll.

"Mom!" I had complained loudly, "Why are you dolling my friend up instead of me?" My mother shook her head, her earrings tinkling from the motion. "Ugh, your cousin is already doing the same thing for you, Sophie, don’t act like a spoilt brat right now, Jules just needs more attention. I can't believe Gracie is finally getting married" She had said, turning her attention to gossip.

I shook my head as I returned from the memory lane that I had gone through and then I was back in the room that I was literally tresspassing in, the same room that Deangelo had instructed the cleaners to always clean up while making sure to l;eave jules’ belongings the same exact way that it had always been in.

Soon, I heard a little scruffle and then excited noises coming from the lowest floor and since it was literally so late at night, it was unusual. Tipping back out of the room as silently as I could, I closed the door behind me then went down the stairs to the second floor and then to the first floor.

I had decided to sleep over at the house this time under the guise of filling the position of the nanny but in my reality, it was just so I could snoop around and maybe succeed in seducing Deangelo, one that I hoped would make us end in the comfort of his bed.

I was even in a sexy red nightwear that stopped just on my mid thighs, having half of my breats exposed, just the same way that Jules had said he liked it on her when she used to tell me all about their sexcapades, I still have each and every one of her sex stories engarved in my head and all along, I just could not wait but be the one in her shoes and my time was now. I was just waiting for Deangelo to get back from wherever it was that he urgently needed to go at such time.

But just as I got to the edge of the stairs, what greeted me was noises of excitement from both Mia and Diego who were both in their PJs, even Camila and her mom seemed estatic and Luca who always finds it so hard to smile had a little tug on his lips, and all of these was because of her.

The one girl that I had been so happy to be rid of, that I had thought was gone and would never be back in here again to use whatever her charm was.

Elena.

Elena was back again.

Camila was the only one who noticed me, and she moved closer to me, all smiles before she whispered, “shes back, Elena. Can’t you even pretend to be happy? You look like you would strangle her if you could, its written all over your face.”

I threw a stern glare at her but she was not done speaking, “And I can not help but wonder who this red nightwear is for, you know and the fact that you are coming from the third floor where you have absolutely no business at all? Hmm, were you laying on the alpha’s bed looking all sexy and simply expecting him to come in so his jaw will drop? You may have everyone fooled with that pretence and good girl facade but you do not fool me, Sofia. You want the alpha and from the look of things, I do not think that you will ever suceed about that. Sorry, not sorry!”

At that, she moved away from my side to join in the stupid celebration of a darn nanny returning and I continued to glare at Elena and then at camila.

“That’s because you don’t know me, Camila. I am Sofia and whatever I want, I get in any way I can and that includes Deangelo. I will soon be the new Luna and you will regret ever thinking that way.”