Chapter 15 WHO IS SHE?

More than the excitement, curiosity took over me regarding what he wanted to talk to me about because of what I had been thinking in my mind, I was expecting him to talk to me about what had been going on in his mind. The minute I sat down on the chair that was placed on the side of the couch that Charles was sitting on, the servant served me my favorite beer after Charles looked at him in a manner asking him to do that.

After I took a sip of the beer, I looked at Charles who was anyway looking at me, and I asked, “Tell me, what do you need to talk to me about?” And to show him that I was eager to know whatever it was that he wanted to tell me about, I added, “I am all ears.”

It took him a lot of time from then on to start talking to me about the matter. The long pause was scary because the talk could be about anything and not necessarily about what I wanted it to be about. Deep in my heart I was hoping that it shouldn’t be about some other girl as that would break my heart, but a part of me inside was even guessing the talk to be about me having to move out.

That wouldn’t have been a problem at all since I was anyways considering moving out, but hearing it from him would have been heart-wrenching for me. I knew staying with him was only a temporary phase, and I was doing my best to finalize an apartment, but it was all in vain because of him. The plan to move out got even more certain after the museum issue. I was just hoping that he would not ask me to leave upfront.

“Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know what was the right thing to do?” He asked, and before I could understand the words that I should use to respond to his question because I had been in such a situation not once but many times, especially with him, he continued, “Like you wanted to do something but didn’t know if you should?”

His question puzzled me because there was nothing that he couldn’t get or spoil it if he wanted it. Usually, it is the fear of either of the two options that confuses people on choosing to do something. But if you know you can get absolutely anything in life, having such a fear has no point, and considering Charles’s financial status, I was dead sure that he must go for it even though I didn’t know what was bothering him.

It must have been something to do with his work just as it had always been, but because I hadn’t seen him be affected so badly despite the pressure that he faced at work every day, I was quite doubtful if that had been the case. He was the most sorted among all that I had ever known of. So, an office trouble bothering him that much was highly unlikely.

I hoped very hard about it not being any girl issue and especially any other girl except for me. But because it was completely impossible for me to leave that mark on him as I was not up to his standards, in fact, I was nowhere close to it. Hence, I couldn’t hope to be the one affecting him the way that he resorted to drinking to accept his feelings.

He was looking at me continuously, and I was taking too long to answer his question. For the situation at that point not to get any more awkward, I opened my mouth and gave the shortest reply if compared to the time I took for it. I finally replied, “I have been in such a situation.”

In my mind I was playing rest of the muted part and thinking about all the times that I was stuck with him when I wanted to do something or the other but didn’t do it because of the fear I had in me not to spoil anything between us because things with him were as if I was living my dream; living with such a handsome man in a big house and getting almost everything I wanted or in a way that resulted in being very convenient for me.

Even though Charles and I had nothing between us that was going on, it was beautiful to be able to watch almost every action of his. Also, none other girl had ever stayed that long with him to know the food he ate and his bathroom schedule as well. Such things lead to intimacy that cannot be compensated only by getting involved in penetration alone.

Charles became very quiet on hearing my answer. He again got lost in his thoughts. I was dying with curiosity to know why he had put forward that question to me, and maybe it was the alcohol, but I felt confident in getting to the point directly. Yet I finished the little beer that was left in my glass by gulping it down, and I asked, “Is anything bothering you?”

Instantly I saw him nod his head that gave me a clear signal. He wanted to talk about it but was not finding the right words for it. To make it easier for him, I gave him the two options that I had in mind. Hoping for it to be any other issue except for the second option, I said, “Office or girl?”

Without taking any time, he immediately picked up one of the options that I gave to him, and he responded, “Girl.”

A piece of my heart broke when he said it because I assumed that I knew it that the girl wasn’t going to me. But now that he was opening up to me, I had to keep the conversation going to help him feel better. I couldn’t think of any other way to proceed than by asking which girl he was referring to as he worked with so many of them and he even met many on a regular basis.

One final question from my end came out. I asked, “Who is this lucky girl to have such an impact on Mr. Charles Lozano?”