23

##Chapter 22

Diana Markovic



I properly packed all my things in my suitcase, every second trying to hold back the urge to cry, I needed to be strong, I couldn't cry forever. My father had told me once that even when something goes wrong, it should also serve as a learning experience and that's what I'm taking from here.

Life has to go on, it can't stop.

Hugh disappeared, he had this mania. After a few hours the jet arrived, landed near the accommodation. My father called letting me know that Jax the pilot was already at the location I had ordered.

My chest was in anguish, would he even say goodbye to me? It was stupid, I knew it, but I waited for him to show up for five hours and he didn't. I didn't go after him either, it was always me and it wasn't reciprocated, but unfortunately that didn't stop me from waiting.

I looked around me all the time, looking for him , inside me there was a fear of leaving and him appearing when I was gone. But Hugh didn't come to see me off. Reality was getting closer and closer and I was very afraid of it, it often tended to be disappointing.

So I finally decided to leave, after hours of having the ridiculous hope that maybe he would change his mind. I was getting on the jet when I heard someone's voice yelling at me.

- Hey! Diana, right? — A young woman apparently my age, with green eyes and dark hair was approaching me with heavy breathing.

“Hi, yes it's me. - replied .

“Forgive me for bothering you, but I'm also one of the left behind. My name is Ramona, could you give me a ride, I really need to get out of here and the next flight isn't until tomorrow or the day after. She gave a sincere smile and her eyes were pleading.

- Of course. Are you heading to California or elsewhere in the US?

“California indeed. Thank you very, very much, you are helping me a lot! He gave two happy jumps.

- Let's go. Do you already have your stuff there?

- Oh yeah. I only brought a backpack anyway. Constant fresh starts, you know?

— I do know... Mine will be from now on. I waved her over and did the same.

I let Jax know it was all right, that we could go. He gave us the necessary directions and as soon as we took off and started to leave the village, I felt that I was no longer whole, part of my heart had remained there. I sobbed so hard it hurt my soul.

I couldn't hold it any longer and the emotion hit me hard. In one week, I found my greatest happiness and suffered my greatest heartbreak. It is true that with Jeremy the disappointment was greater, however with Hugh it seemed much, much more painful. It was as if I had been born again with him only to die for the very thing that gave me new meaning in life.

It was all an illusion created by me.

The pain between my legs caused by our night and morning together was the only evidence that it had been real, that wasn't an illusion, but that wasn't the only thing, the rest was.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ramona touched my arm.

- No, I am not fine. I confessed in a choked voice.

- What happened? My God Diana, I've never seen anyone cry like that. His look was truly concerned.

“I fell in love with a Viking descendant from the village and he didn't return my feelings the way I wanted and now I'm suffering.

- I'm very sorry. In truth.

“It's not all right , but it will be. Thanks for worrying.

— Look, can I tell you a little bit of my story? Maybe it will help you get over it faster.

- Yes...

— I got married early, at eighteen, I was never happy, because I thought I needed him for everything and he was never there for me. He was an asshole, sexist, liar, unfaithful and addicted to gambling.

"And what did you do about it?"

“I decided to take the stance of a strong and independent woman, got a job and divorced the bastard. Today I'm twenty-five years old and I've been traveling the world with just a backpack after winning the lottery. Maybe if I hadn't ended the wedding in time, who knows where I would be? The main point is: recognize the woman you are. Do it.

- Thank you very much. You really were very strong and I hope to achieve that too.

- You are going. Trust yourself!

"He didn't even come to say goodbye, Ramona..." I lamented.

“He's a coward who wasn't able to fight for you, or just didn't want to.

“Worst of all, he wanted to, I think. But there is something that I don't know what it is, that prevents it.

— In this case we can't judge, maybe he wanted to protect you from something. Don't be like that.

- Will pass. It's just another disappointment.

And as much as I didn't want to admit it, Hugh was a coward and a selfish one for the way he acted with me. He wasn't man enough to even say goodbye. I took a long breath and stopped crying.

— Thank you so much for talking to me, I needed to get it all out without risking other people's judgments.

"I'm around if you need a friend." She smiled at me and I returned it.

I laid my head back on the armchair and whispered to myself:

- He finished. It was just an adventure. — and then I swallowed back the pain my own words caused me.

Posture of a strong and independent woman. Posture of a strong and independent woman. Posture of a strong and independent woman.

Three months later...

Months later, I was doing the best I could to get on with my life. In this period I felt everything, anger, sadness, depression and finally acceptance came.

I think the depression phase was the worst of all, it lasted almost two full months. I was extremely involved with my projects of starting my own clothing company and also launching my brand. I just did that every hour of my life and when I had some time left, instead of sleeping, I just thought about Hugh and how no one would ever, ever make me feel what he did.

And I felt like I couldn't get involved with any other man after him. I would wake up sweating when I could sleep a wink, excited by the dreams I had with him, where we had sex intensely, while he kept telling me that I was his and that he loved me. After that I would cry myself to sleep for only three hours.

That phase didn't really pass, but over time I started to accept that we would never see each other again and I even started to smile.

And after many conversations with my therapist, I decided that I was going to move on with my life and try to date other men, even if it crushed me. I would never be able to forget Hugh if I kept dreaming about him every day, imagining him inside me, driving me crazy with pleasure until I lost my senses.

I still yearned for him. So there had to be someone else better than him. I begged the heavens for this. Otherwise, this feeling would never die.

A week later I started noticing more the advances that my brother's best friend made on me. He was also a lawyer like Diego and was always present at our house, although I almost always pretended to be dumb so as not to accept Caleb's advances.

He was beautiful, cute and kind. He wore glasses and adding that to his often wrinkled suit even made him sexy. Deep down I still didn't feel ready, Hugh was still alive in me, in my broken heart and idiot that I couldn't forget him, however Caleb seemed to be great company and I agreed to go out with him.

That's when the most confusing day of my life began. I got ready to meet Caleb, I wasn't very excited, so I was very simple, as soon as he arrived, he opened a huge and beautiful smile. He was so cool.

- You are very beautiful. I smile .

- Thanks.

- Where would you like to go?

"Let's eat something really greasy." I'm starving.

- That is great.

We arrived at a really nice restaurant in central California, it wasn't too crowded, which was good. I ordered a steak with bacon and other appetizing things. I was automatically talking to Caleb who seemed happy there with me, even though I was a real pain in the ass for just thinking about the man who hurt me.

Suddenly I felt my vision blur and something more like a spell made me see a rustic and blond man in front of me, in Caleb's place, I remembered when we ate together in the village. I stopped eating immediately.

"Diana, are you okay?"

“Yes, it's okay.

"Not enjoying the food, is that it?" Look, I come here all the time and I thought I'd like it because...

“Caleb! The food is wonderful. In truth. I gave a half smile.

"Hey, what's up?" Your eyes are so sad. My chin started to quiver .

No. No. No. No one could ask me or remind me anything about my sadness that I felt like crying, but I almost always managed to hold it in.

“N-It was nothing. Caleb walked over and grabbed my hand.

“Of course something happened, Diana. This can be seen by looking into their eyes. You can confide in me, if I can't be anything more than a friend, I'll be fine with that. I want to be your friend.

"Do you really want to know?"

If we were going to have any kind of relationship, the truth should always come first. I didn't want to play like Hugh who was hiding the past.

- Clear.

For the next two hours, I told Caleb everything, everything about Jeremy and Hugh. He listened quietly without judging or interrupting me, holding my hand to boot.

“You are so hurt. Now I understand why I never returned my advances.

"So you noticed that I was faking dementia?"

“I notice everything about you. It's been three months since I met you and I feel like I've known you for three years, even though I didn't have a chance. — he lowered his eyes, embarrassed by having admitted his feelings — I like you, Diana Markovic.

- You are so cool! I also like you. — but as a friend... Because I'm a sucker.

“Listen, I know you don't want a boyfriend right now, after everything you've been through. But I'm available for a friendship, let's get to know each other, go out together and who knows someday, something will happen between us? I'm patient.

“Why do you have to be so nice? I wish it was just another idiot, because then I could give up on men altogether. he laughed .

"So, do I have a chance?" I took a deep breath.

It was time to move on.

"Yes, I'll give you a chance."

But it was at that exact moment, seconds after that sentence left my lips, that a new dizziness hit me, but not like the moment I saw his image. It was different, I passed out.

I woke up several minutes later, in a hospital bed, with a nurse and Caleb beside me.

“Oh, she's awake. First, I would like to congratulate you.

"Congratulations for what ? " I looked at her confused.

“You're going to be daddies.

What?