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##Chapter 49
livia
I knew I needed to be calm, but it was difficult when my children were at risk, nobody said anything to me but I knew, if they were ok they would be here in my lap or quickly comfort me with the news.
“You lost a lot of blood, and it harmed one of your babies. The girl. — the doctor spoke calmly while a pain grew inside me and I sobbed — The boy is healthy, but as they are premature, they need to gain more weight and learn to breathe on their own. They're in the incubator.
While I was relieved for my boy, I was worried for my girl.
- And my daughter?
— To be completely honest, she's very weak, she barely managed to cry, she's lacking strength for her little lung to inspire, she's on the devices and intubated. We're doing what we can for her to make it, but I can't lie to you, your daughter is at risk and may only have a few more hours to live. He dropped that bombshell and left the room.
No, no, no... This couldn't be happening.
— My baby... Oh my God... What a pain... I won't stand it, I want my daughter. I said in tears.
I never imagined that when I knew the greatest love in the world, I would also know the greatest pain in the world.
“You need strength for your little boy, he'll need you. Maria hugged me comforting me.
I couldn't move, minutes later, from crying so much, I felt weak, my head was spinning and I fell asleep.
I woke up later with Maria napping on the hospital couch, my heart sank, she was also pregnant and I couldn't imagine what was going on in her head. She stayed by my side the whole time, despite not being old enough to be my mother, I imagined that was what it felt like to have one.
She stirred and opened her eyes, getting up as quickly as she could to come over to me.
— Maria, help me to go to my children. Even if from afar. I would just like to look at them. Please I beg you.
— I'll do that, because I would feel the same way if I were Miguelzinho in that situation.
She left the room and came back with a nurse.
“Help me get her into the wheelchair and put a hospital gown over her.
"Maria, I didn't know that the favor you'd ask me to do would be breaking the rules of my job." the nurse said.
"Don't forget I know how you got him." The woman was silent and the two of them helped me to my feet very slowly .
The nurse put a cloth on the chair and dressed me in a hospital gown and I sat down.
The nurse pushed the chair into a room, opened the door and put me in and left quickly, Maria accompanied me.
- What are you doing here? — I saw the doctor who gave birth to me — You have to rest.
— I need to see my babies even if from afar. - replied .
The doctor closed his eyes and then opened them again, looking more softened.
“You need to know something. Your little one is struggling a lot. She's so strong to bear it all, she's just a baby. She's so tired and I'm sure she 's suffering as much as you mom. His words only made me cry even harder.
“Help me closer…please. — he helped me and put me in front of the glass where she was.
I looked at her with so much love, so much affection. She looked like a little angel.
- Hey my Love. — I said smiling and crying — You are the spitting image of your father, my princess — I put my hand inside the glass and held her little finger — I give birth to you and you are born identical to your father? — I smile without any joy — I know it hurts for you to try to stay, mom won't be upset with you if you go, but I'll suffer a lot without you, I love you so much that I would give my life for you my love.
I pronounced in the midst of crying admiring her angelic face.
The noise of the device beeped showing that she was alive, weak but there, fighting to stay. My little warrior.
"Take me to my boy." I asked the doctor and he pushed the wheelchair to my son's incubator.
His eyes were open and he was moving a little.
"My God, what a beautiful thing." Hi my boy! — I whispered — You have to get better soon so Mommy can take you home, my little baby. I love you more than anything my son, thank you for being strong for mommy. — I put my finger in his little hand and he squeezed my finger lightly, I started to cry.
I pulled away and cried, cried harder than I had ever cried before.
I was startled by the noise sounding loudly from the appliances that supported my daughter.
- What is happening? I asked wanting to get up and go to her incubator.
"Get her out of here!" he shouted at Maria and so did she.
- No! I have to stay. What is happening? I yelled.
- Everything will be fine. We need to leave now. Maria said, trying to sound calm.
In the hall, my head spun, but I didn't want to black out and with a strength I didn't know where it came from, I managed to stay awake, collapsing, thinking this was the end for my daughter.
demetrius
Damn turbulence forced the pilot to do a bit of an emergency for a few minutes. I was crazy. I called several times to speak with Lívia or find out about her, but Maria didn't answer, which increased my despair even more. I was about to have a heart attack.
I would never forgive myself for her going through all of this alone. I should be there for her and our children.
When the jet took off again, almost half an hour later, we were on the runway in our city, we took the car from the parking lot that Heitor had paid for them to keep and he drove at high speed to the hospital.
When we arrived, I got out even before he parked in a space and shouted Lívia's name at the front desk. The lady receptionist informed me of the room and I ran, from the door I heard sobbing very loudly, I opened the door and saw Livia sitting in a wheelchair with Maria hugging her and a nurse stroking her back.
- Beautiful! I ran to her, kneeling on the floor beside her, Maria got up and walked away.
"Demetrius..." she hugged me tight and I cried with her.
— Forgive me for not being here... Forgive me please, I shouldn't have gone. Where are our babies ? I asked placing my hand gently on her stomach, feeling it smaller than before.
"They're... there... inside... Oh ... I can't breathe... My daughter is leaving... I think she's gone..." She could barely speak.
My heart broke, an absurd pain hit me, like a thousand knives stuck at once, without stopping, all the time, for an eternity.
“No, no, no. It can not be! I cursed and got up and controlled myself not to take out my anger by punching the hospital walls until I broke my hand.
I haven't had a tantrum like this in a while.
Hector came running into the room a minute later.
"My princess, are you alright?"
- No, dad... My baby... - she cried hugging her father.
A doctor appeared at the door of the room, entering in a hurry and I recognized him as the one who accompanied her pregnancy.
"Our children, how are they?" We need to see them. I said, running my hands hard through my hair.
"The children's parents can enter the room, but they need to calm down!" - the doctor said keeping calm.
I felt that the news would not be good. I went to the chair Livia was in and pushed it, following the doctor.
When we entered, we were faced with the scene that we could consider the worst of all in our lives. A pale baby girl lying in the incubator, completely still.
I was in a state of shock. Without ground. My dream, my little girl. Part of me.
