Chapter 41

Chapter 41

As I drive on the way to the gym, I mull over Amilia and I’s conversation this morning. When I saw her again, I realized my little feelings for her disappeared. I used to have a crush on her because she’s cute and sweet. There’s just something about her that I was drawn to. That little had now become nothing.

I’m starting to regret indulging myself in a hopeless relationship– if that’s even a relationship to begin with. All we did was fuck. I let myself catch feelings for someone who doesn’t care about me at all. Never mind being dangerous, I could take that. The fact that she didn’t tell me that she actually has a fiance, that just hit the most painful spot for me.

Of all the fucking women, why do I have to fall for someone like her? Unreachable and taken.

Why can’t I have these deep irrevocable feelings for Ami instead? Clearly, she’s the better option. She’s better than her. We have been on the same wavelength until she came along, let me fall hard for her and ruined it all.

I couldn’t even go home straight, afraid that I'd meet her in the living room. She usually passes out on the couch with a wine bottle and glass on the center table. She rarely goes straight to her room.

I decided to go to the gym where I used to workout and learn boxing. It was better to release my pent up tension and anger there. Clint, my trainor, said that I look better. Not only that, my form was better as well. Of course, I would be. I had Franco who had beaten me many times for that. But I didn’t tell him that I learned firsthand from a high ranking mafia. I just told him that I tried to workout and practice as much as I could.

I spent hours in the gym working out and sparring with the others. I stopped by a fast food place and had my own dinner there. I sat there for over an hour despite already finishing my food until I felt like going back. Ever since then, I no longer prepare something or do anything for her that she expects me to. I stopped caring. Been doing this routine for days just to escape from her sight.

From that span of time, I had the chance to think about everything… about us. I tried not to be angry or to be miserable about it because I know I’ll never have a choice. Even though I do, I could not act upon it. We are both in a different world. I could never be in her league.

Saturday came and I tried to get up late. There was a huge chance that she’s here in the morning. I was starving but I didn’t want to go down there and see her. It was almost lunch anyway.

I texted Ami that I’d be there in her apartment in an hour. She was surprised that I’d be early since we planned to meet at six. I told her I was bored and had nothing to do. I suggested we hang out at her place before we go out for our date.

I showered and changed before quietly leaving the penthouse only to realize that it was empty anyway. I stepped out with a realization that maybe the entire time Cara wasn’t here was because she was with her fiance. I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth.

I should stop thinking about those kinds of things. Things about her that would only fry my brain. She’s not mine anyway. It’s not worth it. I urge myself to focus on our date instead. I owe it to Amilia. I should focus on reality, not some impossible dream.

I didn’t use the car today and just hired a cab. Amilia loves to walk while having random conversation, especially a deep one. She likes to watch and observe the stores, the people, stalls, the open sky while we munch on street foods. She was such a simple girl. She’s the type that keeps you grounded.

I made sure to bring takeout before going to her apartment. It didn’t take long for her to answer my knocks on her front door. She was already expecting me. She opened the door with a huge grin on her face.

“Hi!” I greeted, raising the paper bag and two iced coffees in my hands.

“Ooohh, food!” She spoke excitedly before urging me to come inside.

“I guess you haven't eaten either.” I followed her towards her mini kitchen and placed what I brought on the small dining table.

“Well, I wanted to wait for you so we could order together. We could decide what we’ll have but this is better.” She then grabs one of the coffees. “Iced coffee. Hmmn.” She hums while hugging it in her cheek. I chuckle seeing her love for coffee.

“Do you wanna watch a movie before going out? We have extra time.” She said while setting the food on the table. I sat down on one of the chairs.

I shrug. “Sure.”

We managed to watch two movies before we went out for our date. She suggested that we should stop by the mall cause she wanted to buy something for her niece. She couldn’t come to her birthday party last weekend because of the trip but she promised to buy her the most amazing gift so now we have some shopping to do.

“I’m so sorry if our date started out like this. I figured you could help me choose something for my niece.” We started our gift hunting in toy stores. Her eyes were everywhere trying to choose something while speaking.

“It’s okay. I don’t know if I could be of help since it’s a little brother that I have, not a little sister.” My eyes traveled to the toys, helping her anyway despite my lack of knowledge.

“Oh, Damian, right? Your little brother? Is he as good looking as you?” She teased while nudging my elbow.

I laugh. “He’s better looking. He’s actually the heartthrob of his school.”

Our shopping took longer than expected because we spent most of the time chatting, laughing and teasing each other. We were having so much fun. I realized that I wasn’t as awkward as before now that I know I moved on having a crush on her.

I feel like an asshole though because in those moments, I tried to bring back my feelings for her. I wished so much to come back and let her consume my mind. I convinced myself that maybe what I felt for Cara was fleeting, too. But I realized then that it wouldn’t be fair for Ami. That’s why tonight I’m telling her what I exactly feel.

The diner was our last spot before we decided to walk home. We spent our time there quite long because of how much we conversed. We couldn’t seem to stop talking and laughing. It felt like we have been best friends for a long time and we’re reminiscing our childhood memories. She managed to let me forget my problems… my heartaches just for a moment. Because of that, I could only smile and laugh the whole day. I felt so much better and even wished for this day to go on much longer.

I wish Cara never came into my life. I wish I never learned to hack so I wouldn’t be followed by some mafia and meet her.

“Thank you for accompanying me to get these gifts, Dylan.” She said raising the bags a little bit to show me. “I can’t wait to show my niece what I bought for her.” Excitement glittered in her eyes as she smiled. She looked even cuter. “And the free food!”

“No problem. I owed it to you. I also enjoyed our date very much.” I nudged her side teasingly as we started to walk towards her home.

“Hey…” Her footsteps started to slow down. I looked down at her. “You know… the woman who everyone was talking about… the client…” Her words were careful and unsure.

I raised my eyebrows as I looked at her questioningly. “What?”

“Do you really have no relationship with her?” I finally got what she was trying to ask.

“Why do you ask? And no.” I quickly followed up an answer. “I just work for her. If you’ve seen her, it’s impossible for us to have a relationship. It’s… far-fetched.”

She breathes out heavily. “I just want to make sure cause…” She stops walking which makes me stop as well.

“I like you, Dylan.”

I planned to talk to her right when we reached her apartment. I think it was better to have the conversation privately indoors… but she brought it up too early here in one of the streets of the city.

I stare at her, unable to process an answer. My eyes wide, still in shock at her sudden confession.

“Ami…” I breathed.

She fakes a laugh. “Everyone already noticed my feelings for you and somehow… you’re the only one who doesn’t.”

“I know.” She looks at me with her doe eyes. “Our friends were pushing me to admit my feelings for you either.” Her mood immediately perks up at my response. “They said that you felt the same way. They kept asking me when will I confess to you, this and that.” I chuckle remembering how they used to pester me whenever we gather to hang out.

Her grin falls out at my confession. “But I’m sorry, Ami. I don’t think I feel the same way anymore.”

“Oh.” She looks down, feeling embarrassed at the situation. “I feel like I know the reason why. Not all rumors are baseless.”

“Ami…”

“It’s okay.” She looks up at me, eyes full of determination. “Because I’m not going to give up. You said so yourself. It’s impossible for you to have a relationship with her and by how the people were talking about her, she’s not a match for you.”

Ouch. She was just stating the truth but it fucking hurts.

“I’m going to wait for you to like me again. I believe you will as long as I don’t stop annoying you.” She teases which manage to make me chuckle.

I was surprised at her determination. I didn’t know that she liked me that much to pursue me.

“I’m not going to promise you anything, Amilia.” I gotta tell her the truth. I’m not going to promise her anything when I know I’m not sure about it. I’m still hurt and my feelings for Cara are deep. I don’t know when I’ll be able to move on. It’s the first time I’ve felt this way for someone.

However… we weren’t getting any younger. I’m at an age where most people are married. Cara and I were fooling around and at the end of the day, I’m still fucking single and she'll be married to another man– a better man for sure. It’s high time I realize that my love for her will get me nowhere.

I know I will have a better future with this beautiful soul in front of me.

She nods. “As long as you give me a chance.”

I give her a small smile. “Alright.”

She then attacks me with a hug that caught me by surprise. I choke on my own breath at the force. “Whoa.” I chuckle.

She then lets me go. Her eyes are staring at my lips, her lips purse replacing her once smile. “Can I kiss you?”

I was caught off guard by her question. “Ami…” But she kisses me either way. She withdraws after one second. It was that fast that I’m still in shock.

“I’m sorry but I really wanted to kiss you ever since.” She admits.

Her confession and kiss made me blush. I hope the night covers the red tint on my face.

I clear my throat. “We should go.”

—

Cara

The apartment was small, good for just a single person. It was clean and smells sweet as expected from a female owner. I sat down at the lone couch, placing my legs on the small center table with a single flower as decoration.

I waited with sheer patience until the door opened and the girl I was expecting, came in.

She stopped midway as soon as our eyes met.

“Ciao… Amilia.”