Chapter One Hundred and Eight

He caught her glance and flashed a wry little smile. ‘I was considering that situation when you arrived. Should I respect your wishes or should I storm the barricades? I'm relieved not to have to make that decision.'

Storm the barricades... Her heart fluttered at the passion inherent in those words. Could she resist him? Did she want to? They reached the seat and she was careful to keep some distance between them as they sat. There were many questions to be answered and the desire he stirred in her could well be flattened by his replies.

'Okay, here I am. Tell me what this is about for you,' she invited, deliberately evading eye contact with him, fixing her gaze on the nearest rose bed. She could feel his tension vibrating around her, a harnessed aggression that burned under the surface of his control. It increased her own tension and she clung to a calm facade, determinedly hiding her inner turbulence.

She was aware of him leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees again. 'I'll start at the beginning. Our blind date. I wasn’t expecting to meet a woman who'd gel under my skin.' His deep voice carried a liberal dash of irony.

'A one-night wonder for you,' she muttered mockingly.

It made him pause, reflect. 'I guess I've given you no reason to think it was any more,' he said ruefully.

'You want me to believe it was?' She shot him a derisive look. 'No contact with me for nine months. And then I was only an incidental on the night of Favour and Leonard's wedding. You hadn't come for me. You barely acknowledged my presence until you decided you wanted to have sex with me again.'

He grimaced and shook his head. 'It wasn't like that. I realise it must look that way to you, but it wasn't like that.'

'No?'

'No!' It was a vehement denial, his eyes burning through her scorn, projecting intense conviction.

She wrenched her gaze from his and returned it to the rose garden, frightened of letting his magnetic energy sweep away all reason. 'Then how was it, Collins?' she demanded coldly, not letting the heat from him influence her.

He sucked in a deep breath. She didn't care if she was pulling him through some mental wringer. Her need to know the truth of his feelings for her was paramount.

'When I first met you I had a three-year plan,' he stated, obviously deciding to give her the big picture. 'All work,' he said significantly. 'I didn't want to put the effort into building and maintaining a relationship with any woman. It was easy enough to pick up a companion for a social function if needed.'

'With a night of sex thrown in for good measure.' The hitter little comment spilled out. She gritted her teeth against saying any more, hating the fact that he'd put her in the same category as other casual sex partners.

'You were different, Jasmine,' he quickly asserted.

Inwardly she bristled. He certainly hadn't treated her any differently to the others who had passed through his life.

'What we shared that night on the beach...I tried to dismiss it as a sexual fantasy but you remained too real in my mind, I resented the continual intrusion of the memory, tried to downplay it, reason it away, took other women to bed to blot it out. I won't deny that. Won't lie about it, either. Though I did it less and less because it was you I wanted and every other woman was a frustration because she wasn't you.'

Was that supposed to he a compliment? It was certainly a backhander if it was—the unforgettable woman he'd do anything to forget. He made her sound like a curse—a blight on his life.

'It messed me up to such an extent I decided not to go to Leonard's wedding because you would be there, and I didn't want what I thought of as my obsession with you aggravated.'

'Obsession?' It shocked her into looking at him again.

He raised his hands in a kind of exasperated appeal. 'What would you call it? There I was. not even prepared to be Leonard's best man because you were sure to be Favour's chief bridesmaid and if I had to partner you all throughout the wedding...it would get me in deeper with you and mess me around even more.'

'But you did come...And then you avoided me like the plague for most of the wedding.' Jasmine cut in

'I was angry with myself for letting Leonard down. My oldest friend. And I was angry at investing you with so much power over my life. In the end, I had to come, not only for Leonard, but to prove to myself that what I felt about you was more fantasy than reality. I wanted you to be...' He hesitated, grimacing over the truth before admitting it. '...something I could finally dismiss.'

It did make sense, Jasmine slowly conceded, fitting his thoughts to how he had acted at the wedding.

'But I found myself wanting you so badly... I couldn't stand watching that guy dance with you. Touching you...' The aggression—fiercely possessive aggression. Yes, it did make sense.

She frowned, dropping her gaze from his, wondering how much more she hadn’t understood... from his viewpoint.

‘I had to have you again.' The throb of passion in his voice echoed through her own heart. She'd felt the same way, despite the lack of any communication from him.

The compulsion to take what she could have of Collins Templeton had been overwhelming, even to letting herself get pregnant so she could have his child.

'And still I resented the power you had to do this to me, Jasmine . I tried to exercise control over it. Then control didn't seem to matter. Only you mattered. I didn't want to wake you when I had to leave because if I did...' He sighed. 'It was easier to go while you were asleep. I took the rose. I wanted to keep something of you.'

Like she'd wanted to keep part of him. She realized.