Chapter Fifty Seven
And neither did she, she realized miserably. Even when her dignity and common sense told her to leave the room.... Leave him... A tiny, stupid part of her wanted to hurl herself into his arms and lie there safe and warm while he used his diplomatic skills to talk his way out of this vile situation and made it possible for her to forgive him.
"I want to go home, Dimitri" she said, hanging on to the last of her dignity. "I want to leave"
"This is your home. You are my wife. You are carrying my child and you are not going anywhere" he replied angrily.
One glance at the rigid set of his hard, handsome features told her that argument was useless. He wanted her here for some reason. His baby maybe. And she didn't have to be a genius to know what the other reason was.
The sparks in his eyes. The sexual awareness that even now pulsed between them, all gave her the answer to that question.
She sucked in a breath. "Fine. You want me to stay? I will stay. Let's see how long you can endure having me around, Dimitri. You have proved to me that the only things that interest you in life are power, money and sex. Finally I understand the kind of person you really are. I have always known, but I shut it out. The chemistry between us is powerful, I know. The wedding night and honeymoon were amazing, that's true. But that was it. It's all you are ever going to get from me. Prepare yourself for a lifetime of hell... Or for how long this marriage last."
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Kelly sat curled up in the corner of the balcony, indifferent to the future appearance of the long silk dress she was wearing. Her flat shoes had been discarded on the floor and her hair fell loose down her back. She was on the phone with lizzy, as she needed some one to talk to so badly and was too scared and ashamed to call her father.
It was dark, it was late and she had cried so hard that she didn't dare imagine what her face looked like and she didn't see that it mattered.
The thought of what happened that afternoon brought fresh tears to the surface and she brushed them away with an impatient hand. Enough crying, she told herself firmly. Enough.
Eventually she would get over him. It wasn't possible to hurt like this forever. And in the mean time she would just stay away from him. For a man as red blooded and virile as Dimitri, knowing how much he wanted her in his bed, being deprived of sex and companionship would be a just punishment. But before she could face him again, she needed to allow herself the self indulgence of a good cry.
"I suppose you think I'm mad" she muttered into the phone, "I have made a fool of myself... Over a man that I had every reason to be careful about. I'm obviously not great at learning lessons. And it's not just about me" Tears welled in her eyes again. "I have lost my company because I was too blind and stupid to see through this and check exactly what marriage to Dimitri would mean"
Would she even be able to sort things out? She highly doubted that.
"No honey, I don't think you are mad or anything like that" Lizzy said on the other end, "I think you made a mistake because you needed help and because you fell in love. It's not your fault that he took advantage of you. You can't blame yourself this way. We all make bad choices especially when we are in a difficult situation. Cut yourself some slack, Kelly"
"I just feel like a total idiot" Kelly confessed softly, curling her legs underneath her. "I thought Dimitri cared about me at least. I know he can be arrogant and controlling but he really can't help it sometimes and I kinda felt sorry for him because he had a pretty grim childhood. I thought as time went on, he would become more... demonstrative. It turned out that the reason why he wasn't was because he give give a fuck about me. I don't believe he's capable of loving anyone in fact. It was all about the company and not me"
Kelly leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. All the anger had drained out of her, leaving her limp and exhausted and unable to make a decision about anything. "I just can't believe that I was such a gullible, stupid fool that I let him do this twice. I honestly don't know what to do now. I have no one to talk to. My dad is going to be so mad. My life is just a total mess"
"Your life is not a mess.... And I'm here, you can talk to me. In fact, I wish you would"
The deep masculine tones were drawn tight with stress and Kelly's eyes flew open and she shrank back against the wall as Dimitri walked into the balcony and closed the door in a decisive movement that ensued that she wouldn't be escaping in a hurry.
"Can I call you later, lizzy?" she said.
"Sure. Just take things easy" lizzy replied before she hung up.
Kelly flinched as she heard the door close. She would sooner be trapped with scorpions and snakes. After he concluded his meeting, he and the men had left, and Kelly assumed that he had just returned. Why was he here? He had focused on his business, not caring about how she felt or how upset she had been, because as always, his work came before her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, standing up immediately and hating that he had seen in that pathetic condition. "You are finally done with what is truly important to you, and so now you finally have time for me? I don't want to talk to you because you are a truly horrible person. Now go away"
She watched as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Why do you keep saying that? Why do you think you are not important to me?" he demanded in a tense driven tone. "I left because I had to, not because I didn't care. I could hardly concentrate on anything out there"
Manipulative rat, Kelly thought dully. This was exactly what he had done to her before. Using the right words, soothed and charmed until he had her exactly where he wanted her.
