Chapter One Hundred and Two

All he could do at this point was to pray that she would give him a chance.

By 2pm. He knew something was up and he had to call her. He called twice before she finally picked up and he swallowed hard at the sound of her voice.

'Hello' she said. Her voice was soft and low, and Collins felt his heart tighten. Was she alright?

'Yeah, hello' he said, 'Jasmine... It's me. Collins'

'I know that' came her reply. 'I have your number'

He almost smiled at her reply. For some reason, he thought she didn't have it anymore. And with the way he had behaved, she had every reason to want to cut him off.

'Did you get my message, Jasmine' he asked, forcing out the question.

There was a pause.

'Hello' he said. 'Can you hear me, Jasmine?'

'Yes I can hear you... And I did get your message' Jasmine replied. There was another pause before she added. 'But I won't be coming'

Collins shut his eyes and held his phone tighter, as if the gesture would somehow make her understand just how much he wanted her back. He knew why she wasn't coming, but still he found himself asking, 'Why not? Are you busy or something? I can wait if you want..'

'No I'm not busy.. And you don't have to wait for me' came her reply. 'I just don't think that it would do the both of us any good. A lot has happened, and it happened really fast. I think it would be best for the both of us if we just stay away from each other.'

He couldn't just let it go. Not after all that had happened. He had hurt her deeply, and he had to find a way to make it right.

'I know that a lot has happened, Jasmine. You don't have to tell me that. Believe me, that's exactly why I want to see you' he said desperately, standing from his chair and hurrying out of the garden towards the his car. If it meant showing up at her house so he could talk to her, then that was what he was going to do. 'Where are you? Are you home? I could come over and see you. You don't have to come over here if you don't want to'

He got to his car and got in, but he didn't start it. He just sat with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding on tightly to his phone. He didn't want to push her. If she was going to get back with him, it had to be her decision. It had to be because she wanted to. Ever since he met her, things had gone his way. It had always been about what he wanted and how he wanted it. But now, things had to be different.

'I just want to talk to you' he said softly. 'I just want to see you... I need to. I want you to know how sorry I am, and I want to fix it. I want to fix our relationship and make things right. You just have to give a chance but I don't want to be selfish anymore...and if you say you don't want to see me, then I will keep my distance'

There was silence on the other end. Collins said nothing either. He just sat down there and hoped she'd say yes.

'I think this is the best' Jasmine repeated. 'I got your message, and it was really sweet, but I have to do this for myself. I should have called and told you instead of keeping you waiting and I'm sorry about that. I just couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone.'

'I understand.' said Collins. 'I understand because I have been really crappy to you so I get why you wouldn't want to be involved with me any more. I understand and I'm sorry.'

'Take care, Collins' Jasmine said and hung up.

-----

Back in her apartment, Jasmine dropped her phone on the bed beside her. Since she had received his message, she had been unable to think straight. Finding it so difficult to make a decision. She picked up the flower that her had sent along with the note and gently brushed it with her fingers.

She couldn't believe that he had kept it... She didn't even know that he took it. Hadn't even noticed that it was gone. To her, it had been just a flower to decorate her hair, but it had meant much more to him that he had saved it.... All this while.

She had almost dressed up to meet him, but then she thought about the roller coaster of emotions that came with him. Ever since she met him, her feelings had been all over the place. Always wondering what she meant to him. If he felt the same way she felt... If he could ever care about for her as she did for him. And although the moments she spent with him had been great and memorable, they had also come with torture... Emotional torture.

And then the baby. Oh, anytime she thought about their child, the pain seemed to come rushing back. Reopening wounds that she was trying so hard to heal and she couldn't live the rest of her life wondering what could have been. She just wanted the pain to go away, and there was no way that could happen if she continued to let her feelings for Collins get in the way.

She should have called to tell him that she wouldn't be coming, but she had been so scared that she would hear his voice and lose her nerve. The disappointment in his voice minutes ago when she told him she wasn't going to come was torture too. Oh, how was it possible that she still felt this way about him. Would she ever be able to get over him? She hoped so.. Because this way no way to live.

She stared at the flower in her hands again, and this time she let her feelings overwhelm her.

Jasmine buried her face in her hands and cried.