xii

J O L I E N

After we had accompanied Rash to his hotel room and he had to assure us several times that he was really fine, we also made our way to our room.

"I'll call Harry," Malio explained shortly after we entered the suite. He headed straight for the huge window. Right for the spot in the room with the best reception. I nodded, even though I knew that he couldn't see it because his back was to me.

I sighed and fell onto the bed, completely exhausted. The brief conversation with Rash made me think.

Did they really think my father had something to do with it? And if so, what would be the consequences for him? After all, both Rash and Malio sought revenge - how far would they go if it really was him?

I listened to his soft voice for a moment, without realizing anything of the conversation. This morning I would have done anything to find out what Malio was up to. To what extent the Dakarias still involved him in their business. Now there was nothing left of that curiosity. I didn't care.

It wasn't until he sat down next to me on the bed, sighing, that I realized he'd ended the call. "You okay?" I asked, looking at his troubled expression with concern. He nodded. "Are you sure?" I asked, not being able to fully read the look on his face. "It's not because of the phone call," Malio replied, no less exhausted.

We had really slept very little the last few days. Which was largely due to the sex, or the nightmares that have been plaguing me since the attack, waking not only me but him as well.

"Then what is it?" I asked uncertainly, the rising concern in his eyes triggering an uneasiness in me that made me shift nervously in my seat.

"I'm worried about you, Jolien." Malio eyed me for a few seconds before continuing, "You need to talk to your sister when she comes back. And your father. If he's really involved, I can get my revenge." give up. For your sake. But Rash won't be able to."

"What's the point of talking to Silia? And what does Rash want to do? kill him or what? The questions came off my lips more bitchy than I originally intended and obviously Malio felt the same way because he raised an eyebrow defiantly. "Are you serious, Jolien?"

"What?" "Rash has every right to do so. Not only is he injured, he's been completely devastated for the past few weeks." "Maybe so, but we're not here..." I paused, as I was _in a mafia movie_ on my lips. As always, Malio seemed to be able to read my mind, for he replied gravely, "Yes that's what we are. We spill blood. We act the same way and if I were in Rash's place I would do far worse things."

"That's crazy!" I cried out indignantly. "No, that's our justice." He looked at me intently. Before I could look away, he grabbed my face roughly. "You need to talk to your sister!" I shook my head slightly, not seeing the point in plunging her life into this inner chaos too. The same chaos I've been in for as long as I've known the truth.

"Why should I?" I met his stern gaze. "Because she's fine with that, Jolien! If it were the other way around, wouldn't you want to know too?" I thought about it for a moment and finally shook my head again, only to change my mind the next moment. "Or yes! no Oh, I do not know. I sometimes wish I didn't know and just keep assuming he's my childhood hero," I blurted out.

"You think it would be easier to live with a lie than the pain that truth brings?" I nodded and then whispered, "Yeah, it would be easier if I never found out the truth."

"No, it wouldn't be that. The pain makes you stronger and doesn't keep you trapped in an illusion. In a lie that would have come to light anyway. Because unfortunately the truth always comes out, Jolien. Always!” Malio let go of my face and reached out for my hand. He squeezed it gently, a simple gesture I wasn't sure who brought more comfort at that moment. Him or me.

"I would never have preferred a lie to the truth about my sister's death," he said softly. His loss was still intangible to me, and the magnitude of that pain probably never would be.

He looked down for minutes and I let him take his time in his gloomy memories. I squeezed his hand, gently stroking his rough skin. Tried to give him some kind of consolation.

"I was only fourteen when my sister died," he explained suddenly.

My heart started beating faster when I realized that he was starting to talk about the event in his life that had probably shaped him the most.

the death of his sister.

M A L I O

I took a few deep breaths in and out as if that would change something.

To date I had never told anyone about the death of my sister - because I had never wanted it so much as at this moment.

The gentle pressure Jolien's hand placed on mine gave me the courage to talk about it. The touch represented a silent declaration on her part that she was willing to share this burden with me.

For five years I had successfully repressed the memory of that night from the outside. Tried to lock her away in the depths of my screwed up soul - until now. Until Jolien came into my life and changed everything.

“My sister Aurelia was twenty-two. She was beautiful. Tall, dark-haired, the spitting image of my mother. So it didn't surprise me that Xing's son Benjiro had his eye on her. It came as it had to, the two fell in love."

I took a little break. My breathing became more restless, my voice thicker, the deeper I dug into the memories. The memories of her dark hair. your blue eyes The part of me that wouldn't forget her, no matter how long ago it had been and no matter how much I sometimes wished I would.

"Are you sure you want to know?" I asked Jolien as we approached the part of the story that was so awful I wasn't sure she could even take it.

She nodded tentatively and I took another deep breath so as not to lose myself completely in the rising confusion. Mastering the mixed feelings that swept over me at that moment. Fury. Hate. Pain. Loss.

“Unfortunately, men in our industry are obsessed with power. A relationship or even marriage between two families as high as ours is either an asset or a hindrance. Xing saw it as an obstacle. He was afraid his family would lose power and prestige through the relationship." Again, I had to pause to fight back the welling tears - just like my father always asked me to do when the subject came up. Show no weakness , I repeated his words in my mind, over and over again.

"I followed Aurelia that night because I was a nosy, annoying little brother who wanted to know where my older sister snuck into every night. I followed her into a warehouse. When I found out she was dating a boy, it was quite a shock." A smirk crossed my lips as the memory flashed in my mind.

"I wasn't interested in girls at that point and the very idea of ​​two people being romantically involved was absurd." I smiled to myself for a moment and gave Jolien a loving look, which she shared with one Smiling replied.

"I was about to leave when Xing spotted me. He'd laughed then and said how fitting you're here boy so you can take the message to your father." My heart skipped another moment as my voice broke and I loosened my hand from her grip to grab the to wipe tears from your face.

"I didn't get it until Benjiro came around the corner. He pointed the gun he was holding at my sister and pulled the trigger." I buried my face in my hands as the shots rang out loud in my head, making me feel like reliving that night.

"He just pulled the trigger. Once, twice, three times, four times, five times, I didn't know. At some point I stopped counting and only heard the bang."

"Oh my god, that's awful. I thought they made love!" I heard Jolien's shocked voice. My bitter laughter filled the room.

"They did. He still loves her even today. And yet he told me he would do it again and again because he can't stand against his father, against the family. Doing so is tantamount to a death sentence."

"He told you that?" I dropped my hands and looked at Jolien, who was staring at me in disbelief. I nodded, seeing the disbelief in her eyes.

"What? When?" she asked confused. "Only a few days ago." Now I could almost see how her head threatened to burst under the whole load of information and still she wanted to know more. "But how is that possible?"

"He was my prisoner, Jolien." All color drained from her face. "Lynn is Benjiro."

J O L I E N

Even two days later, as I sat in Soela's office, impatiently waiting for her to show up for our appointment, Malio's words still haunted me.

Lynn was Benjiro. He had killed Malio's sister. And my father worked with this man. I didn't know if I would ever process this information.

The trust that Malio had shown me with this confession touched me and at the same time the new knowledge also worried me. Because that turned the already personal feud between the two families into an almost insurmountable obstacle.

Malio was sure that the Chinese were behind the attack on me and from what he had told me, this suspicion was not far-fetched.

But before I could think any more about all this, the door swung open with a loud bang and Soela floated into the meeting room, a solid thirty minutes late.

"I'm very sorry I'm a bit late." She smiled and took a seat behind the mahogany-colored desk. I swallowed my snarky comment - the fewer words I exchanged with her, the less vulnerable I offered her.

"My fiancé called me. I couldn't reschedule that, unfortunately," she said, a spiteful tone in her voice. Just for a second, I couldn't control my face – my features slipped and I looked at her in surprise. "Oh – you didn't know ?" she stated, amused.

I mentally counted to three, remembering Malio's words about not provoking trouble—but her insignificant grin so pissed me off I just couldn't pull it off.

“It was certainly about annulment of the engagement. That's right, he doesn't want to bother me with unnecessary things." I replied with a smile, after which the smug grin disappeared from her lips.

She grabbed the stack of papers in front of her and a pen. "Mrs. Chesterfield, you know why you're here?" "Because of my girlfriend's death." "Right, the teachers, the headmaster and your father are concerned that you may not have processed what happened and want to drown it in man stories." "Oh, you think so?" She nodded and put on a pair of glasses that she most certainly didn't need.

"I only drown my sorrows in _one_ man, by the way." I leaned forward slightly, all good intentions forgotten. I didn't know if it was because of my father's naming or the suggestion that I had ever-changing love affairs. Whatever it was , it made me brave.

"And very often, very hard and very gratifying!" I added in a triumphant voice.

Her pencil's expression broke when she stopped in the middle of writing and the pressure on the tip was obviously too strong. Her dark eyes sparkled dangerously. It was only a few seconds before she yelled angrily, "Get out!" "I thought I'd have to stay an hour because I'm so vulnerable." "Out! Instantly!"

I grinned triumphantly as I rose from the chair, picked up my bag from the floor and hurried out of the room. I probably made things worse with my little provocation and the next sessions would be hell.

I was leaving the almost deserted Academy through the main entrance when it occurred to me that Malio wouldn't be picking me up for an hour.

Great. What should I do now please?

Anyway, it was a mystery to me why he insisted on not picking up my car - it would make a lot more sense than having him or one of his friends driving him all the time. I kicked a small rock off the sidewalk in frustration when an idea struck me.

The cemetery wasn't that far away and I hadn't been there in ages. So I decided to use the hour wisely and pay a visit to Elena's grave.

Fifteen minutes later, I stood in front of the huge iron gate that involuntarily brought back one of the worst memories of my life. I hesitated for a moment, but then pushed open the gate to enter the cemetery.

There was nobody to be seen except for an elderly lady who was standing in front of a richly planted grave. I covered the short distance to Elena's grave in hasty steps. Hers too had been planted with her favorite flowers.

I pulled out the weeds between the stones and smoothed out the bumps in the white gravel. "Hey Elena. I wish you were here. My life is a mess." I just started talking.

I was just contemplating what to say next when a throat cleared behind me.

"Are you already pouring your heart out to a dead woman?" I blinked once because I wasn't sure if I was seeing correctly. But Chantal remained standing behind me.

She looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Shouldn't you tell your real friends that?" "Are you following me?" I asked in return. "I know you don't have any real friends right now, so I would make myself available. But that doesn't mean we're friends."

"What do you want from me?" I asked skeptically because I remembered the events of the last year only too well. She seemed to notice my concerns because she cleared her throat and replied: "I just think that you "You need someone who isn't so involved. You can't tell Malio what you would tell Bekka. You can't tell Bekka because she hates you right now, just like her brother does. And Gray is in a relationship with everyone Drug strains of this planet."

She put her hands on her hips and added: "I see only two options, either you tell everything to a dead woman who gives you no tips or advice, or you tell me, which doesn't guarantee you either gives tips and advice. But the chance is clearly higher for me.

"Did Malio send you?" It was beginning to dawn on me. He had summoned Ivan and Chantal to guard me for some reason.

"Do not be angry. He's just worried about you." With that, my last self-control was gone and I stared at Chantal with my mouth open.

In disbelief, I took a few steps to a small, covered and sheltered bench and didn't protest when she sat down silently next to me.

But it was about to get even weirder when I accepted her offer and got rid of any kind of grief I didn't want or couldn't talk to Malio about.

"That's quite a lot of contradictory feelings for such a skinny body!" was all Chantal said once I'd fully exposed my insides once. I shot her a disgruntled look, which made her throw up her hands defensively held.

"Don't get me wrong, Jolien. It's commendable that you care so much and want to be fair to Malio, Rash, your friends and family - but that's not going to work." With every word she said, I regretted telling her more about all of this to have.

What, did I expect too?

"I knew you'd say that," I replied, offended. "Why?" "Because you hate me!" I prompted her because that's what we were doing. We hated each other. It was crazy that we were sitting here talking almost like girlfriends.

"I don't hate you, Jolien." Not only was the response prompt, it sounded damn honest.

"Oh no?" She shook her long brown hair and then said, "In fact, I've always been jealous of you." "Jealous?" "Yes, you came out of nowhere and made Malio, the Ice King of Silverside, fall in love with you. He who otherwise never cared about a woman outside of bed."

"Oh." Chantal laughed at my inappropriate reaction and, after a quick glance at her watch, stood up. "We'd better go."

"Are you going to tell him about it?" I asked after a while, certain that Malio had set her on me. "Not everything, but he should know that Soela is forcing you into sessions. Ivan and I thought, that you would tell him immediately." I was going to do that too, but for some reason I didn't want to bother him with it. Maybe it was, but also the fear that he would completely lose his nerve when he found out about it.

"My allegiance is to Malio, you know. I won't lie to him for you and neither will Ivan." Chantal said seriously after I failed to respond to her last statement.

I looked up in surprise. "Your loyalty? We're not in a mafia movie here," I said, rolling my eyes. "Yes, my faithfulness! He saved me. And there's nothing that can make up for that. And I even accept you as his side for that." She paused and I saw the black Lamborghini parked in the parking lot. "You changed him, Jolien."

Chantal quickened her pace and hurried into the parking lot, where she waved to Malio through the windshield and got into a car I daresay Ivans spotted. They left the parking lot before I even got there.

"Where have you been?" Malio asked before I could settle into the passenger seat. "In the cemetery." "I thought you had detention?" I nodded, deciding it was better to tell him about the sessions at Soela.

"Malio?" I caught his eye and when I nervously kneaded my hands in my lap, his eyebrows drew together skeptically. "Yes?"

"Soela is the new guidance counselor." His cold laughter filled the driver's cabin. "This woman is as trustworthy as a room full of predators. What nonsense! Who goes to her please?"

"Well, me." "Are you kidding me?" The spot had left his gaze and been replaced by a rising anger. "I have to," I protested. "That sly bitch! What does she want from you?" He turned the key angrily and bolted into the street.

"It's mostly about Elena." And it crossed my mind about you, but I decided not to say it out loud.

His gaze flew over my face for a split second as if he could sense my insecurity. A snort escaped his throat – or maybe it was a growl. Whatever it was, it sounded deep and menacing and showed that he didn't believe a word I said.

"Okay, maybe it's about you, too," I admitted sheepishly. "You can't talk to her." "How do you imagine that? I have to go there.” “You're not going to the Academy anymore!” he decided without hesitation.

"What? How so? What can she do?" He slammed on the brakes so hard that my upper body was thrown forward and the seat belt savagely cut into my neck.

"You're the problem, not Soela!" I stared at him in disgust. Was he serious?

"You're provocative!" He explained his completely unnecessary statement. "I'm not at all!" "Yes you are and how!"

I snorted and mumbled, "And who cares?" "Me. I've known Soela a long time. She's like a snake. If you provoke her too much, she'll snap. And knowing you, it won't." times more, last until the end of the week."

I wordlessly unbuckled and opened the door. "Where are you going?" Malio asked surprised. "I'm walking." I replied and got out determinedly.

"Get back in the car!" I leaned back in the cab, cocked my head and considered his words for a moment. "Nah!"

I slammed the door and walked down the street. "Get in the car!" he yelled after rolling down the passenger-side window and following me at a walking pace. I ignored the command tone and marched on.

"Jolien!" he roared angrily. His eyes narrowed to slits as he watched my every move.

"What? I'm so provocative, so leave me alone, Malio!" Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed how he parked the car on the street, got out and strode towards me. Without a word, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in a nearby alley.

"What the shit?" I yelled angrily, but his grip only relaxed when he pinned me against the stone wall. In a flash, his hands clamped down on the wall, denying me any chance of escape.

"Why are you provoking me?" he growled dangerously, the sound of his voice driving me nuts, although I could clearly hear him struggling to keep his composure.

"You started it!" "I was just telling the truth. You'll kill yourself with your rebellious behavior someday." I rolled my eyes in annoyance, which made his gaze even more aggressive.

"What do you want to do now, Malio? Punish me for being too cheeky with your fucking fiancée? Who rubs it all in my face, every day, over and over again. That you call her without my knowledge. Are you going to fuck her too?" the words burst out of me with uncontrollable harshness.

The anger left his face and he looked at me almost amused. "You're jealous?" "Jealous? Of you? Me? Dreaming-" He cut me off with a kiss.

His hands cupped my face before pulling away from me to look deep into my eyes. "There will never be an "us" with Soela and I.", he rested his forehead on mine and grinned mischievously, "Because forever there will only be us." Again a heartfelt kiss sealed his words, which also drained my anger.

An arrogant grin tugged at his lips as his hand slipped under my skirt. Automatically, his fingers slipped into my panties, gently stroked my middle and then slid into me, which made me wince painfully.

"What is it?" he asked worried. I felt the heat rush into my cheeks.

"Nothing." "Are you sore?" I looked down, embarrassed. He cupped my chin and forced me to look at him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Because I still wanted him. Preferably here.

"No idea. I was embarrassed," I answered instead. "You don't have to be embarrassed - neither that you still want it, nor that you're sore. In front of me, you don't have to be embarrassed!"

He took a step back and bit his lip, which instantly reignited the desire in me. "We can still..." I grabbed his hand, but he gently cut me off, "No!" "It's not that bad." "I'm driving past a pharmacy." His fingers interlaced with mine and he pulled me into his arms with a gentle tug.

For a few seconds, he buried his nose in my hair, took a deep breath, and whispered seductively, "I'll have no problem sucking it off you for the next few days."

Before I could reply, Malio blew a kiss on my neck and murmured, "I couldn't bear to see you in pain while I take you - I love you too much for that."