xiv

J O L I E N

"I can't believe you're making me wear something like that!" I pointed to the burgundy gown Malio had placed on the bed.

After our training session he had to go off to do some business - I now realized he meant buying that dress.

"It's just a dress," he muttered in annoyance as he unbuttoned his shirt to get in the shower. "It looks like a very expensive dress!" I retorted, searching for the tag to no avail. "You can forget that, it's not your turn," he replied with a grin after watching me for a moment and then realizing what I was looking for.

"It's worth more than, I don't know, a year's pocket money?" He laughed and shrugged, "Maybe more, but nothing's too expensive if it's for you."

I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at him. "Since when, are you so poetic?" "Since you came into my life, so if it bothers you, the complaints have to go straight to you."

He gestured towards the bathroom door, "Would you like to come with me?" I shook my head, because there was something I really needed to do. Something I'd been putting off for far too long. I needed to check on Amelie's condition .

I sighed and grabbed my cell phone and waited until Malio had disappeared into the bathroom - only then did I dial my father's number. "Hey Jolien dear. I'm glad you're finally calling. I've been wondering. Are you all right?"

I swallowed all the questions that shot through my head at that moment. Not out of fear of saying them out loud, but because Malio advised me not to have this conversation over the phone. So I would play the loving daughter until he came back to Silverside.

That was also the reason why I had delayed the call until now. I didn't know if I could keep up appearances.

"Yes, I'm fine. How's Amelie?" I tried to get straight to the point. "Oh, she's another nuisance. You'll wish for peace and quiet when we get home. How's the Morrisons?" I forgot about that - I was officially staying with Bekka and Brandon!

"Everything's great, they're really nice. Can I speak to Amelie?" "Of course. Amelie, Jolien wants to speak to you." I swallowed the tears that pooled in my eyes. It was so hard to hear his familiar voice, the loving tone that still resonated when he spoke to either of us, and know that he was responsible for it all. That he destroyed our family.

I closed my eyes for a moment, but that didn't help either, because a tear had fought its way through my lashes and was now running down my cheek.

"Jolien?" came my little sister's voice suddenly. More tears ran down my face and I wiped my cheek again before answering her. "Amelie, sweetie, are you alright?" she asked my voice trembling and I couldn't suppress the feelings that were now, in this merciless way, fighting to the surface.

"I'm fine, Jolien!" she exulted and I saw her wavy brown hair, freckled face and green eyes right in front of me. "I'm glad. You have to-!" my voice broke and I did looked at the ceiling for a moment while taking deep breaths in and out before finishing the sentence, "-get well quick. So we can finally watch _Frozen_ together again."

"Oh yeah! _Frozen_! Daddy, can we watch _Frozen_?" "Now?" I heard my father's puzzled voice. "Yes / Yes! I want to see Olaf! Olaf, Olaf, Olaf!" "All right, sit down on the bed. Say goodbye to Jolien." "Bye Joli-ein!" she yelled into the phone, making the "i" extra long. "Bye!" stuttered out.

"So, here I am again." "Olaf, Olaf, Olaf!" Amelie yelled at a deafening volume that was sure to be heard throughout the rehab clinic.

"You Jolien, I have to hang up. You can hear it, she's going completely nuts. Take care! I love you, don't forget that. I'm sorry I can't be there for you and Silia right now." They were words that broke my heart in a thousand pieces and I didn't know if he could ever put them back together. If, I'd ever get back in would be able to build trust in him.

"Bye, Dad." "Wait a minute, can you pick up Silia from the train station next weekend?" "Sure." I snapped back and hung up.

It wasn't until Malio cleared his throat and cautiously asked if everything was okay that I noticed him standing in the doorway of the bathroom. I wiped the tears off my face again and nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay." He shook his head and gestured for me to move a little to the side: "You can talk to me." "I know." I sank into his outstretched arms and rested my head against his chest. Inhaled the pure scent that surrounded him.

"It hurts so much!" I finally admitted. "I know, babe. I know!" For a while he just stroked my hair as I fought back the tears that kept surfacing when I wasn't trying to be strong.

"It's okay babe. You don't have to be strong in front of me," he said softly, letting me know that he felt the deep sadness and was there when I needed it.

"I'm sorry, Malio," I finally said. He stopped mid-movement and asked, "What do you mean?" "The one with Lynn. I let your sister's killer escape. I can't imagine how bad that must be for you." I whispered softly, because that was also something that had bothered me for a while.

"I wanted to kill him. But not because he's my sister's killer. I gave up the desire for revenge long ago.", he replied. "Then why?" "Because I'm sure they were behind the attack on the Winter Ball. I gave up all revenge, all resentment, even the desire to follow in my father's footsteps as we got more serious. But I can't let it get away with someone trying to kill you." He explained calmly.

Surprised, I lifted my head slightly to look at him directly. There was a hint of a smile on his face: "There comes a day when we break our own rules and principles for someone we love more than ourselves."

Malio leaned towards me and he didn't have to say anything else, and yet he did, pausing just before my lips and breathed, "And for me, that person is you. I would do anything for you Jolien. All."

A gentle kiss sealed his words. Words that were much more than a confession. You were a promise.

"Ready?" Malio asked in front of the doors of his parents' house. How gladly I would have said no. Would have asked him if we - or at least I - could just disappear again. Because I would have done almost everything to make this meal in the "I hope so," I replied instead, snuggling closer to Malio's right arm as if his proximity would drive the fear out of my body.

"I'm sure it won't be as bad as you're assuming," he said encouragingly, putting his hand on mine. I didn't think so - quite the contrary, I even feared that it would get worse.

Still, I nodded and murmured, "Come on, open that stupid door." He chuckled before using his free hand to fish his keys out of his pocket and open Hell's Gate for me.

I let Malio lead me silently through the hallway, past the kitchen and the foyer, into a room that I actually hadn't paid much attention to until then.

While I've stayed here a few times, visits have tended to be limited to the second floor, foyer, or kitchen. In the depths of my memory I also knew of a dining room, but this was right next to the kitchen, from which he now led me away.

"Isn't the dining room over there?" I pointed over my shoulder. Malio shook his head before answering: "We're not in that dining room today. We have another one." Somehow it didn't surprise me. Everything about this property seemed ostentatious and ornate. Then why not two dining rooms? Even if I didn't quite understand the meaning behind it.

Even before we reached the last room, which must have been the dining room, Malio's mother came towards us.

"Oh, there you are!" She greeted Malio with a kiss on the cheek and then turned to me: "Hi Jolien, I'm very happy that you accepted my invitation. I'm Camille Dakarias. to get to know you."

I swallowed my rising nervousness because up close she looked even prettier than I already remembered. She seemed graceful and graceful. Her long black hair was tied in a bun and her perfect face, that had no wrinkles, looked at me kindly. "I'm glad to be here too, Mrs. Dakarias." I lied while hesitantly returning her hug. "Honey, you can call me Camille. Not so formally, it makes me feel so old!" , she laughed and then waved us straight into the room.

I wondered how I could not notice this room all those times before. Not only was it large, but it also had a long wall of windows that offered an unobstructed view of the huge pool. "Oh! I didn't even know you had a pool!" "Well, most of the time we ended up in my bed." Malio whispered in my ear.

Grinning, he pulled a black chair with a buttoned backrest and a gold frame from the table and nodded for me to sit down. But I was still too busy glancing around the room with the light wallpaper and black furnishings.

Two pictures hung above a dark marble fireplace. One was a portrait of Mr. Dakarias seated at the head of a dark table. The other was a family photo that also included Aurelia.

She was beautiful and a spitting image of Malio's mother, except that she inherited her blue eyes from Mr. Dakarias, just like her brother. "Wow, Aurelia was so beautiful," I said loudly. "Yes, she was," Malio agreed after following my gaze. His eyes rested on the painting for a moment, then he shook his head slightly and said, "Come on, sit down."

This time I accepted his request and sat down in the chair he was still standing behind. He smiled and sat by my side and clasped my hand in his.

After a few minutes, Mr. Dakarias entered the room. It was almost frightening how his mere appearance deprived the entire room of oxygen. I swallowed hard and couldn't imagine sitting at a table and eating dinner with this man. It was big, majestic, and already scared the shit out of me.

I returned his smile, or whatever it was, uncertainly, before looking to Malio for help. "Hello father. You already know Jolien." He squeezed my hand briefly and firmly, meeting his father's gaze.

"I'm surprised you accepted your mother's invitation." He walked slowly to the square directly beneath his own portrait. "Why?" "Because I thought you wanted nothing more to do with us. Live your own life by the side-" he paused, managed a smile, and looked straight at me, "-_this_ woman."

I felt Malio tense next to me. "That is right as well. But that doesn't mean I don't care about you." "Us or the protection this family can offer you? After all, your little torture victim escaped and is now a danger to you."

"That has nothing to do with it. I take responsibility for this incident and will not involve the family in my mistakes. Is that what you want to hear?"

Mr. Dakarias sat down in the chair and clasped his hands on the table top. "You're lucky you're my son and I don't want to lose my last child too. For my sake we can forget about the incident in the basement." He paused again, making the pause extra long. He enjoyed it. Enjoyed having this conversation in his hands.

He patted the empty seat next to him and looked at his wife. "Darling, please sit down. We have staff to take care of the food, have you forgotten that again?"

When she made no move to move but continued to lean against the door and kept glancing down the hallway, he cleared his throat loudly, "Sit down! Now!" The threat in his request was so clear it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "Camille, I'm warning you," he added, with which she finally bowed to his will and sat down at the table.

His gaze wandered back to Malio: "But this is subject to a few conditions." "What do you want?" “I want you back in business. As my right hand, as it should be." Malio took his hand from mine and crossed it in his lap before answering in a trembling voice, "What else?"

The smile on Mr. Dakaria's face grew wider, more dangerous, and somehow more sinister. "You're moving in here."

"What? This is supposed to be a joke!" I burst out before I could even think about it. The mere thought of it sent me into a real panic.

For the second time since entering the room, Dakarias-san looked directly at me. He didn't say anything for a moment, just engaged in a silent gaze duel with me, which he won at the moment when the rising panic made my throat tight and I had to look away gasping.

"Jolien dear. I don't think you want to live under the same roof with him after what you found out about your father." I heard him say, "And since Malio will be fully involved in the business again, he has to live in this house. It's up to you to prove your love to him now. If she's as strong as he says, then it won't be a problem for you."

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Malio whispered in my ear, again he grabbed my hand, but this time I shook it off. "No, he's right, if you're here you're safe. " "Jolien, you have to-" "It's all right, Malio. Your father's right. I can't go back, and we can't live in a hotel forever either. It's the best solution." While I was reluctant to agree with Mr. Dakarias and make his victory even sweeter, it was the truth. We had no other choice.

"I accept your relationship, if you really love her, I'm the last person standing in your way. I just want my son to be happy. I already cleared everything with the La Cruels. You have already left. You will continue to teach at the Academy."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Malio ordered harshly. "Yes. It's good to have them as allies. Especially now, considering the way things are." The two exchanged a long look and for a moment I was tempted to ask what exactly he meant by that. But before I could muster up the courage, a dark-haired waitress pulled a service cart into the room where the food was being prepared.

"Okay, then we've settled everything. Good conversation!" Mr. Dakaria reached for the napkin to tuck into his shirt collar. The image was both disturbing and comforting in equal measure. It made him look less dangerous, almost sympathetic - which was a complete misinterpretation.

I watched as the dark-haired waitress placed the bowls and platters on the table before I almost winced at Dakaria-san's voice the second time he addressed me directly, "Oh, Jolien! Welcome to the family."

If it was supposed to be a friendly greeting, it didn't even begin to do its job. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and couldn't shake the feeling that I had fallen into a snake pit.

***

If someone had told me a few days ago that I was moving in with the Dakarias, I would have called them crazy. It wouldn't even have crossed my mind to even think about that possibility - and yet, it was.

I've been living with them for over a week now. They'd got me a room on the first floor, but I slept with Malio most of the time when he wasn't running errands.

Since returning to his family, he has been more involved than ever in the family business. He traveled more and had to attend internal meetings.

On the one hand I was grateful that he was back under the protection of his family, on the other hand life outside these walls made it almost impossible.

"Babe?" Malio greeted me on Saturday morning. Of course he was already awake, or maybe he hadn't slept at all. I had fallen asleep early last night and hadn't even noticed when and if he had even gotten into bed.

"I'm awake," I murmured incomprehensibly. When he opened the curtains of his room, I groaned in irritation and pulled the covers over my head. But by then it was too late. Blue hopped onto the bed, sitting right next to mine head and meowed until I threw back the covers and stroked him.

The falling sun blinded me and I clutched my throbbing head. More and more often I woke up with a headache and the prospect of having to talk to Silia today didn't make it any better.

"I'm sorry, I have to leave soon," I heard Malio's voice. He was leaning against the windowsill and was watching me scratch Blue. "What? But I thought you'd show me how to shoot today. " I straightened up and looked straight at him, which only added to the pounding in my head.

"I know, but I have to work things out with my father." I swallowed the resentment that immediately surged through me. "Okay. We can do that too-" "No!" he interrupted me harshly, before he once exhaled deeply and continued more gently: "No, Ivan will show you. I'll be there next time."

"Malio-" He frowned, "Yes?" I wanted to tell him so much. That I missed his closeness, our conversations and the time we used to spend together, but it felt selfish to say it out loud. Which is why I quickly shook my head and said, "Oh nothing."

"I know it's a bit difficult at the moment. We don't spend much time together, but I have to do some things that have been left undone since I've been gone." An apologetic smile touched his lips and I felt guilty immediately. I nodded quickly, finally knowing that I was the reason for these things was the reason why we were here now.

"It'll get better, I promise." He took a step toward the bed, a longing look crossing his weary eyes. I scrambled out of bed, and grabbed the bedpost for a moment as dizziness gripped me.

"Jolien?" Malio was at my side within seconds, wrapping a hand around my arm. "It's fine! Got up too quickly. Don't look at me like that, I'm fine." He nodded and slowly lowered his hand, but never took his eyes off me.

"You should rest." I shook my head: "I'm meeting Silia this afternoon after all. I'm fine, it's probably just the circulation." His worried gaze roamed my face in silence for a moment before he nodded, "Okay, if you're worse, I'll call the doctor."

"Harry or Didi?" I asked, laughing. "Didi." I still couldn't believe that this crazy guy was actually a doctor. "No thank you. I'm really fine. I just miss you.” “I miss you too!” His lips brushed gently against mine.

"We'll catch up on that when I have more time. I think another week or two and most things should be sorted out." He explained after pulling away from my lips.

"You're not going to tell me what those things are, are you?" "Right, it's better if you don't know." He gave me another kiss on the forehead before saying goodbye and walking out the door.

I secretly longed for the time in the hotel. Of the time he was free. Not tied to the machinations of his family. Did this desire make me a bad and selfish person?

After getting ready, I found myself in the foyer where Ivan was already waiting for me. "Good morning Jolien," he greeted me politely and pointed to the stairs that led to the basement. "We can postpone that too, if you" "Save that, Jolien. Malio already told me you would try that. No, I have nothing better to do and I promised Malio I would, so you won't leave this house until you've mastered the basics of shooting." "I was afraid of that."

I followed Ivan through the huge vaulted cellar, straight to one of the closed doors. For a moment I wondered if they were holding someone who they were beating up the way Lynn did. The thought of his injuries made my blood run cold and I stepped up my game to catch up with Ivan.

"What's Malio doing that's so important?" He chuckled and replied, "If he doesn't want to tell you that, I won't be so suicidal and will do it. He'll involve you if he thinks it's necessary. But wish you don't, it's better if you know as little as possible."

"I'm worried about him. He's different since we've been here." "What did you expect, Jolien? He has responsibilities." "And if he doesn't want that?" Ivan paused and looked at me for a moment before answering, "Unfortunately, you can't choose that here." He pointed to an iron door: "We're here."

It was really scary how many branches this basement had. The room was in the deepest and most secluded corner. "The door looks very solid." "It is. It's annoying when you're busy down here and you keep hearing the slamming. There was a fuse for me once or twice in the beginning, when the door wasn't here yet eloped."

Part of me refused to probe further, but the dark part, inexplicably drawn to all this machinations, urged to ask what exactly he was doing when his fuses blew.

"What do you mean by that?" He laughed and opened the door. "Let me put it this way -" he pushed open the heavy iron door and pointed inside, "The only person in this house whose hands aren't yet covered with blood , are you."

I stepped into the dimly lit, narrow room. It was dark and cold and there were some targets hanging at the end. "And Rash. I totally forgot about him." I heard Ivan's voice before the heavy iron door slammed shut. "Rash has never done anything really bad either. He's the good soul of this house. Well, enough talking, Jolien!" I watched him walk up to a large closet and type on a small electronic pad.

After a few seconds, he opened the closet, which was full of guns. Grinning, he held out two specimens to me: "Rock Island 1911 or Glock 19 Gen4?" When he saw my puzzled expression, he put one of the black guns back on the shelf and laughed loudly at me to put the other in my trembling hands to squeeze.

The shooting training was the purest catastrophe.

In the first twenty or thirty shots I hit everything but the target. "I guess I'm just not made for this," I said with a sigh, before setting the black gun down on the small table and admitting defeat for now.

Even though I was wearing the hearing protection Ivan had given me, my ears were ringing and the smell of the gunpowder made me sick.

I was glad that I could postpone my meeting with Silia, otherwise I would probably be forced by Ivan to keep firing at the target until I finally hit her.

"You just need more practice. You know how everything goes, now you just have to work on your accuracy." He replied confidently, putting more hope in me than I would have liked. "Mhm." I replied sheepishly, since I was sure , not to step foot over this threshold in the near future.

"Everything okay?" Ivan looked at me worriedly when I had to hold on to the edge of the table for a moment. I had put the hearing protection aside, but that didn't change my discomfort - the nausea even increased.

"I think I have to get out of here," I forced out under my hand, already thinking of the best place in the basement to throw up.

Ivan rushed to the heavy door to open it with ease, and without another word I rushed past him into the dark basement hallway.

Musty air hit me immediately and I breathed heavily through my mouth so I could fight the feeling of nausea that was unstoppable spreading through me. Exhausted, I leaned my forehead against the cold stone wall and closed my eyes for a moment. I slowly counted to three, breathing deeply in and out, noticing my heartbeat slow and the nausea go away.

"Jolien! Should I call the doctor?", Ivan had stuck his head through the door and was looking at me worriedly. I had only walked a few steps away from the room and immediately regretted that I hadn't walked any further and that he could now see me like this .

"No, I'm okay," I waved him off and got up quickly. "I think I ate something wrong. I'll have some tea brought to me." "Do you really want to go there today? Postpone the meeting with your sister." "I told her I'd pick her up and then go and have a coffee with her."

Ivan looked at me silently for a moment, then he nodded and said: "If you want, I can come with you! I could drive you." "Oh, no. You don't have to. I'll lie down again for an hour and then it'll work out. Could it stay between us?"

His worried expression gave way to a skeptical one before he replied, "You mean Malio?" I nodded and pushed off the wall as casually as I could, which immediately brought on another attack of dizziness. "I don't want him to worry It's nothing serious," I downplayed my health with a casual gesture.

"According to me. But you know that Malio hates being lied to?" "Of course! But it's not a lie. I'm fine!", I staggered to him goodbye and rushed to the elevator because I couldn't imagine with the best will in the world how I was supposed to manage all the stairs to the foyer in this state.

I pressed the -1- directly to get to Malio's room as quickly as possible.

It wasn't until I sat on the bed, kicked off my shoes, and lay prone, that I realized how miserable I really was. My hands were shaking and I was so nauseous that I feared I would throw out the meager breakfast again at any moment.

Meowing, Blue curled up at my side as if to comfort me. I stroked him for a while, which calmed me down a bit, until my own eyes closed and I fell asleep exhausted.

I jumped when my cell phone rang. Thank goodness I saved a memory, otherwise I would have completely missed meeting Silia.

Drowsy, I reached for the phone to silence the deafening ringing - a glance at the display revealed that I had an hour left.

Blue looked at me reproachfully, since the ringing had apparently also woken him up. "Sorry!" I said sheepishly and scratched his head, making him purr loudly and making me rise in his favor again.

Before I got up, I took a long sip of the cold tea that was on the black bedside table. Someone from the staff must have brought it to my room long after I was asleep.

I scrambled out of bed hastily and breathed out a sigh of relief when I realized that my headache and annoying nausea were gone.

I grabbed my jacket and rushed to the elevator to head down to the underground garage and take one of the myriad trolleys the Dakarias had offered me to use. I didn't like it, but Malio flatly refused to let me anywhere near our house, even though he regularly sent his men to check it out.

Even before I reached the underground car park, the doors in the basement opened. I had a hard time suppressing an annoyed groan as Alex got into the elevator with a couple of men.

"Hello Jolien," he greeted me with a grin, noticing the smugness in his voice. "Alex," I replied with a nod.

"Who would have thought that we would live under the same roof?" "As far as I can remember, you don't live here." I replied snippy and immediately regretted having responded to his provocation. But everything about this person provoked me - especially his stupid face with that stupid grin.

"You're being cheeky." He pulled a strand of hair from behind my ear to slowly wrap it around his finger. "I'd be more careful if I were you."

"Are you threatening me?" I asked challengingly. His grin widened even further: "I don't have to do that, dearest Jolien. You'll shoot yourself out all by yourself. And at some point he won't be able to iron out your mistakes anymore and with a bit of luck, I'll be rid of you both right away."

The doors opened with a soft beep and I let Alex and his men out first. They disappeared behind a door that didn't lead to the underground car park, and I only got out when it closed again.

I knew I'd run into Alex willy-nilly if I lived here, but the fact that such a simple meeting would upset me didn't bode well.