xvi

J O L I E N

A monotonous beeping reached my ears and, with a steady and even tone, drove the deep emptiness out of my head.

When I squinted and opened my eyes to escape the enveloping darkness, all I saw at first was bright light, which stung my eyes painfully.

Gasping, I pinched them together again, breathing in against the rising panic that threatened to constrict my chest.

When I let my still slightly blurry gaze wander through the room, the first thing I saw was a white wall. I blinked again and noticed that the rest of the room was white as well. The bright light came from a long neon tube mounted under the ceiling in the center of the room.

Startled, I turned my head back and forth, which made me groan softly, as a pounding in my head was noticeable with every movement.

Eventually my gaze settled on a person who was standing with their back to me and looking out the window. "Malio?" I rasped and only recognized him when he turned around. It wasn't Malio standing there with his hands in his pockets, it was Rash.

"You're awake," he stated in a hushed voice, pulling up the chair that was at a table under the window to sit next to me on the bed.

"What happened?" All I could remember was leaving the Dakarias' estate.

"Don't you remember?" he asked, his eyes darting worriedly across my face and stopping just above the eye. "No." I touched the spot in confusion. "Oh god, what happened?" I asked breathlessly as I felt the huge plaster under my fingers and just that gentle touch sent a violent ache through my head.

"We were in a car accident," Rash explained before my eyes swept over him in disbelief - because to me he looked pretty unhurt.

“I got behind the wheel in good time and was able to prevent something worse. However, you hit your head against the window pane on impact and suffered a laceration and concussion. The doctor will explain everything to you shortly."

I had listened spellbound to him and now wrinkled my forehead questioningly: “You took the wheel? How so? Have I lost control of the car? Rash, what's wrong with me?"

Unintentionally, my thoughts wandered back to the last conversation with Malio. Was I maybe pregnant? For some inexplicable reason, a fear spread through me and I felt my stomach intuitively. A few hours ago this topic was unimaginable for me, now I wondered if maybe I had lost our unborn child. I was worried about something I really didn't want to have.

Rash put his hand gently on mine, which was anything but pleasant because of the IV needle, and murmured, "I knew you wouldn't have cared. But you're not pregnant, Jolien. You never were."

"Then what's wrong with me?" I asked him, my voice trembling. "You were poisoned, Jolien. At least that's what your symptoms say."

"What? Poisoned?” I repeated in disbelief. He nodded and looked me straight in the eye after glancing at the closed door.

"You can't prove anything, but I spoke to the doctor. The venom must have been administered in such a small dose over a long period of time that it is no longer detectable in your body." He paused briefly before continuing, "Or it's inherently a venom that isn't is detectable."

"Is there such a thing?" He shrugged. "What isn't there in our sick world, Jolien? People are getting crazier and trying to annihilate each other."

"Poisoned..." I mumbled under my breath because I just couldn't take it. I figured this only happened in Hollywood movies or true crime. In places miles away, but not in here Silverside - not on me.

"Jolien, can you think of anyone who might have done this?" I thought for a moment, wondering which person would go so far as to poison another human being?

"Alex," I concluded bluntly. He'd been after me since we first met, even if the use of poison seemed almost humane by his standards. "No. It wasn't him.", Rash replied promptly and I looked at him questioningly.

"Why are you so sure about that? "He wouldn't because Samael made you a family member." "And?" "Nobody opposes him unless you want to die and Alex is attached to his life." , Rash explained briefly and cocked his head as if he were thinking about something.

"So the family is gone?" I deduced from his statement. He nodded and replied: "The close ones at least yes. With the others you can never be 100% sure. There is always someone who defectes, but the odds are pretty slim. Can you think of anyone else?"

I did some more searching and indeed, one more person came to mind. "Soela?" He nodded, seeming to consider that possibility more likely than the theory with Alex.

"Did you eat or drink anything in her sessions?" "Yes. She offered me water." "Did she drink it too?" he demanded, a stern expression crossing his olive-colored face.

I tried to remember our sessions, all of which were quite some time ago, and my head responded with a strong pounding. "I do not think so. She always took it straight from the carafe on her desk. She drank some, too, but never drank it."

"And I know from the time she lived with us that she got on well with one or the other housekeeper. Maybe someone helped her when you stopped showing up for meetings," Rash surmised.

I sighed and the pain in my head increased. The initial roar had turned into a pounding and now a loud pounding, so that every time I moved my head a little, a pain shot through my temple.

"You'd better get some rest now," Rash remarked after I moaned, rubbing my forehead. "I called Malio, he should be there soon."

I grabbed his hand and prevented him from getting up. "Thank you Rash. You saved me.” “I'd do it again any time.” He replied with a friendly smile. "Why? You must hate me." "Why?"

He dropped back into the chair and looked at me blankly. "Because of the Elena thing." "It wasn't your fault, Jolien." "But if my father..." I began, but my voice broke in mid-sentence and I wiped my face because the memory of that night brought tears to my eyes again.

"Then, like Malio, I will renounce my revenge." More tears rolled down my cheeks at these words, while Rash reached out his hand for mine again: "Even if it were so and it was your father, she could Anger never outweighs the gratitude I feel for you."

"Gratitude?" He nodded and smiled. "You made Malio a different person. I've never seen him like this and I hope that together we can rescue him from his family's clutches."

"Rash-" But he interrupted me, shaking his head and saying, "I've been trying for so long. Tried to bring his soul out of this darkness, but only you could do it. I owe a lot to the Dakarias, but I don't want Malio see like that."

"How see?" "So torn. Between you and his duties that will eventually kill him. Malio saved me when my own father tried to kill me. It's more than a friendship that binds us, he is my brother. I owe him my life." , he paused for a moment and his gaze slid past me as if he seemed to be remembering that horrible moment.

"I'm sorry, Rash," I replied sadly, letting him reminisce because I didn't know what else to say to that.

"It doesn't have to be. Since then I've been a part of the Dakarias. Malio is like a brother and Samael welcomed me like a son."

His words surprised me because I couldn't imagine such kindness from the head of the Dakarias.

But maybe there was also a good core in the depths of this person.

****

M A L I O

"Malio, slow down, goodness gracious! You're going to kill us!" I heard Ivan bleat as I pulled into the hospital parking lot at breakneck speed.

I just managed to avoid the pillars because I was distracted by him for a moment and let my eyes wander to the right.

"Whoa dude!" Ivan glared at me angrily and for a split second I thought he was going to punch me. Apparently he was really toying with the idea as I saw his hands clenched into fists and he was heavily- and exhaled.

I ignored his shouts of protest, all of which had something to do with "I should calm down," and jumped out of the still-moving car to rush straight to the hospital entrance.

I hastily crossed the entrance hall, where I pushed myself in front of a couple who were just strolling leisurely towards the registration.

"Young man, may I ask?" the man snapped at me reproachfully, but by then I had long since devoted myself to the blond woman, who looked at me with a bored look.

"It's not your turn," she greeted me in a lecturing tone, but then, as she glanced down at my blood-spattered shirt, she swallowed hard and suggested, "Maybe you should go to the emergency room. Are you hurt?"

She had already risen from her desk chair and held out her hand to me when I replied brusquely, "It's not mine and if you don't want yours to join you should answer my question," prompting her to immediately answer hers "I need to know which room Jolien Chesterfield is in! I need to know now!" I added menacingly.

I could feel my patience dwindling with every passing second. For a moment, the young woman looked at me in silence, and I could almost feel the gears starting to rattle behind her head.

"One second, please," she instructed, stuttering, her trembling hands flying over the keyboard. I tapped the counter impatiently, which seemed to unsettle not only her but also the couple behind me.

The man whispered something, but before I could turn around to finally throw my opinion in that asshole's haughty face, a hand came down heavily on my shoulder. "Calm down, dude!" Ivan demanded, who had meanwhile followed me to the hospital reception.

"I'm calm," I snapped, and we both knew it was a lie, but Ivan was kind enough not to dispute it out loud.

“She's in room 204. I spoke to Rash. He's waiting for us at the door. There's some stuff you should know.” I gave back what sounded more like a surly growl than the “Mmm” I intended and took a step to the side.

My eyes met the man and for a moment we stared at each other hostilely. "Malio!" Ivan's admonishing voice barely got through to me. He tugged hard on my arm and for a moment I thought about just pushing him away and slapping the guy in front of me.

But that would draw too much attention to us. I'm sure my father would be less than thrilled if he had to write a check to the hospital so they would forget about this incident, so I ended up letting Ivan pull me to the elevators.

From a distance I saw Rash pacing up and down in front of a room door, waiting. A pained look came over his face as he noticed us and strode towards us in a hurry, "I'm so damn sorry, Malio!" "How could that happen, Rash?"

"She insisted. If I had known she was in this bad condition, I would never, ever have let her drive the car. You have to believe me, Malio." He explained angrily and took a step back. "What?" I stared at him in bewilderment.

"It's not his fault!" Ivan interrupted our conversation and put an arm around my biceps as a precaution. "You're right, Rash. It's my fault."

"It wasn't meant that way. Nobody could have guessed that she had been poisoned." Ivan interjected and exchanged a worried look with Rash, who nodded in agreement. Apparently they had expected a more violent reaction and it also demanded a lot from me, not everything short and small hit - because the hatred for myself was so great.

"I shouldn't have run away," I confessed, running a hand through my tousled hair in desperation.

"You couldn't have changed it either. you know jolien She is stubborn, she would probably have driven alone and worse could have happened. What do we know, Rash? Did she say anything?" Ivan brought the subject back to the point. "Soela."

"Seriously?" I gave Rash a confused look and Ivan's hand slipped off my arm in amazement before he yelled so loudly that a nurse jumped in shock. "That ugly little bitch! You're not going to get her away with that to let."

"Of course not," I countered, giving him a withering look for even a second considering that I would tolerate it.

"But you're worried that it will add to the conflict between your families?" Rash concluded, and once again I was surprised at how well he knew me.

I nodded and answered his question after thinking about it for a few seconds: "I'm not going to kill her. "Bullshit! Malio, she'll do it again!" Ivan's grip had snapped back onto my upper arm, so strong I briefly feared he might break it with his bare hand.

My stern gaze flew first to him and then to the spot he was clutching tightly and only seconds later he took his hand down again. He smoothed out the crumpled fabric and mumbled, "Sorry, ran away with me."

"Bring her into the manor." After they nodded in agreement, I looked intently at Ivan again. "But don't hurt her," I admonished, fully aware of Ivan's methods.

"Oh come on, it doesn't hurt if she accidentally falls out of the car." "Ivan!" Rash rolled his eyes in annoyance because he had always disapproved of Ivan's brutality. I noticed the worry lines that had crossed his forehead before I heard him ask worriedly, "What are you up to, Malio?"

"I punish her. "Are you sure?" I shrugged, "As long as I don't kill her, I'm sure my father won't mind."

In fact, it was more that he loved this kind of revenge action and almost celebrated it like a huge party. "She should have known that trying to kill Jolien would not go unpunished. Anyone who attacks her attacks me. Anyone who hurts her hair will be held accountable by me."

***

The knock on the door woke me from the doze I'd slipped into when Rash left the infirmary.

The door opened quietly and I heard Malio enter the room.

My eyes widened in horror when I saw his bloodstained shirt. Startled, I threw the covers aside and was halfway out of bed when he crossed the room in quick strides and gently pushed me back into the pillows.

"Calm down, it's not mine," he said tenderly, before settling into the chair that was still next to the bed. "It's not yours?" I echoed his words excitedly, because it didn't situation better, nor did it reassure me.

"What did you do?" I asked, confused. I wasn't sure I wanted an answer to that, but part of me couldn't help but ask him that question Shoulders shrugged as if it were a trifle not worth mentioning at all.

When I raised a skeptical eyebrow and he finally understood that I wouldn't let him hush up the subject, he sighed and said: "I had to clarify something. A family affair. But that is not important. Let's talk about you instead."

He grabbed my hand and gently rubbed his thumb over the skin. "I'm sorry I left," he said suddenly. I shook my head violently, which was a mistake considering my health, but I wanted to make it clear that the accident wasn't his fault. Neither was it the dispute.

"You do not have to apologize. I said something without thinking that it might hurt your feelings. I understand why you ran away and it really baffles me that after everything I've done to you these past few weeks and everything I've put you through, you're still here." He smiled and shook incredulous at my words.

His hand clasped mine and he replied, laughing, "Seems like the accident opened your eyes. Yes, you made some mistakes and more than tried my patience." "Sorry." I mumbled sheepishly and looked away. "Though you still tend to interrupt me," he laughed and I couldn't help but look at him again.

It seemed as if some unseen force was preventing me from taking my eyes off of him for long periods of time. An aura that surrounded him and inevitably cast a spell over everyone.

"I love you Jolie. And a few fights won't change that. You're my fucking girl." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"There's nothing you can do or say to change that," he added before kissing me softly and a feeling of utter happiness flooding through my body. He pulled his hand from mine, cupping my face and intensified the kiss even further, his tongue invading my mouth demandingly as I clasped my hands behind his neck and lost myself completely.

We completely ignored the knocking, only when someone cleared his throat loudly did Malio let go of me and sat back on the chair. "Mrs. Chefterfield, I'm your treating chief physician Mr. Gutz.", an older gentleman with gray hair and black glasses introduced himself would not be covered by my health insurance.

"I summoned him," Malio confirmed my suspicions, and it was almost creepy how much the Dakarias family ruled Silverside. It was true that with money came power.

"Why?" I asked Malio, who just looked at me unimpressed before answering: "Why not? I only trust the best and since Dr. Gutz is attached to his life, that makes him the best." Which probably meant that this doctor knew exactly who this man next to me was and what he was capable of if he wasn't given what he asked for.

dr Gutz nodded quickly and said, "Malio, I've tested your blood." My suspicions were reinforced when he called him by his first name, and I wondered what normal, decent people like this doctor were thinking about the Doing Dakaria's business. He must be in serious trouble, I couldn't think of any other way. I decided to ask Malio about it later.

"Why can't you prove anything?" he asked angrily at that moment, pulling my thoughts back to the hospital room.

“There are poisons that cannot be detected. I would have to do specific tests. Something like that would take a long time and I don't know if they would even deliver any results. All I can say is that Mrs Chesterfield's symptoms are indicative of poisoning. I assume it shouldn't be a lethal dose. It's more likely that someone tried to weaken her to the point where she might have been seriously injured in an accident."

I glanced at Malio, who nodded briefly and then replied, "How long does she have to stay here?" The doctor cocked his head for a moment, as if considering it. "If the values ​​are ok, she can be discharged tomorrow I assume Harry will continue to monitor her condition?" "Naturally. Thanks Doctor." Malio's face softened, before he grabbed my hand again.

"With pleasure. Then I wish you a speedy recovery, Mrs. Chesterfield. And Malio-" He looked back at the doctor, who just then finished his sentence, "-Give my regards to Harry." Without waiting for an answer, he turned on his heel and swept out of the room.

I stared after him in confusion for a few seconds before turning to Malio, frowning, "What was that about?" "That was Harry's brother." "Excuse me?" My mouth dropped open, which he commented with a laugh.

"The two don't get along very well. Despite all that, George takes on our cases that are hospitalized here." "Why don't they get along?" "Because Harry stayed with us and committed himself to the family while George left and keeps forgetting who's in charge here. We'll get him back on track." He didn't say exactly how they did it, but I could already guess.

After a few minutes, Rash came back into the room with Ivan in tow to say goodbye to us for the time being. "You can go home with them," I said to Malio, who already had a mocking grin on his face after the first few words. "Forget it," he replied directly and then turned to his two friends . "Can you report back to my father?"

"You mean about _everything_?" Ivan pressed. I noticed Malio nod very slightly before mumbling, "He's supposed to look after new suppliers, and you guys know what to do too." He gave me a quick glance before continuing, "Jolien will be released tomorrow. I expect the matter we discussed to be settled by tomorrow night."

"Yes sir!" Ivan saluted, which made me shake my head with a laugh. Rash, on the other hand, furrowed his brows skeptically and made sure, "Are you sure?" "Of course." There was a tense mood in the room for a moment. But she was gone as quickly as she had appeared.

"Would you like me to bring you things?" Rash finally spoke up again. "Yes, that would be great and something to eat, I'm dying of hunger." While Malio Rash listed what exactly he should bring us, my thoughts wandered again to the first part of the conversation.

What task had he assigned to Ivan and Rash? Could I ask him about it, or again would he just say it was business?

My eyes flew over the blood-soaked shirt and I wondered if I even wanted to know what the task was?

It wasn't long before Rash returned with a small holdall and a brown paper bag, the contents of which filled the room with the intoxicating smell of burgers and fries.

My stomach growled treacherously and it was only now that I realized how hungry I actually was.

"Here.", Rash said with a grin and threw the warm bag on my lap and pressed the bag into the hands of Malio, who had briefly disappeared into the bathroom to free himself from the bloody shirt.

For a moment my eyes were glued to his toned, bare torso and the dark lines of his tattoos. I knew each of them by now, but that didn't stop me from admiring them over and over again.

It was like a living painting because each of them told a story. Told something about him, about his values, desires and hopes.

I bit my lower lip, a slight pain ran through my body and I was glad that I could finally take my eyes off that steel-hard chest.

My heart raced at the thought of how he would tremble beneath me as I traced those black lines across his tanned skin with my tongue.

I immediately felt the tug in my abdomen and secretly wondered how I managed, even now, with poisoning and my hand on an IV drip, to be able to think about nothing but sex.

I shook my head almost imperceptibly and turned to the bag on my lap – maybe the excess hormones were from lack of food.

"Ivan's talking to your father," I heard Rash whisper as I happily bit into a cheeseburger.

His gaze darted my way before turning back to Malio. "He agrees. He took the attack on Jolien as an attack on the family."

Rash had taken a step closer to Malio, lowering his voice even further on the last words. So much so that I could barely see them, which drew my attention from the delicacy in my hand to the two young men.

Malio must have noticed my gaze because he returned it with an intensity far too insistent that I almost dropped the cheeseburger.

"Okay, then you know what to do," he growled at Rash, his eyes still on me. I rolled my eyes, realizing now that he was trying to hide something - which was me didn't like it at all, and his outrageously well-toned upper body didn't change that.

"Would you like to have lunch with us, Rash?" I inquired politely, before almost choking on a piece of cheeseburger as I watched Malio's abs tense for a moment as he slipped on the black hoodie, because Rash had brought him.

"I still have an appointment," he replied, but with a look at his watch, he added, "But I still have a few seconds. So yes, please."

After he grabbed the second chair from the table and placed it on the other side of the bed, I handed him the bag that contained countless hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and two servings of fries.

He grabbed a burger and peeled the paper off the bun while Malio sat in the other chair and grabbed the bag. "I'm starving," he said wearily, sitting back after grabbing two burgers and a portion of fries from the bag.

"Rash, do you have an appointment with the little nurse?" Malio asked after a while and a meaningful grin crossed his lips.

Rash gave his best friend a surprised look and gasped as if he'd been caught doing something illegal. "Where from? No...Well..." I laughed at his awkwardness and turned to him too. "You met someone new?"

He looked down, embarrassed, and only now did I realize that he was uncomfortable. "Rash, what's going on?" "I feel bad." He murmured under his breath, eyeing the eaten burger in his hands.

"Why?" I asked confused, but then it slowly dawned on me. "Is it because of Elena?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I feel like I'm cheating on her," he admitted softly, and I could clearly feel the pain and guilt that was fighting its way from inside him to the surface.

"Rash." I grabbed his hand, never realizing he was still struggling with those intense feelings.

I wanted to tell him something. Saying that it's totally okay if he falls in love again, but I couldn't find the words and as if Malio could sense my insecurity and inner turmoil, he spoke up: "Rash, Elena certainly wouldn't have wanted you to be for the unhappy for the rest of your life. You have mourned, you have long blamed yourself for something that you could not change and are in no way to blame. Don't you think it's time to be happy again?"

Rash shrugged uncertainly. "I think if this girl could make you smile, Elena would be the last one to mind. She will always be a part of your life and in your heart, but maybe it's time to open that space to someone else."

His words sent goosebumps down my spine and I was always amazed at how he managed to find the right words. To me. for Rash. For every single person in his environment. Malio was so much more than the dangerous mafia son. He was smart, deep and totally authentic.

And he proved to me that it was possible to love someone more every day.

After Rash finished eating, he checked his watch again and got up from the chair. "Well, I have to go," he said goodbye to us. "Have fun," Malio replied with a wink. "Malio, cut it out." I gave him a punishing look.

When Rash left the room, Malio put the two chairs back at the table and gestured for me to move a bit so he could join me in bed.

I snuggled up to him and laid my head on his chest. Malio wrapped his arm around me and pulled me even closer to him. He gently kissed my hairline and whispered, "I was so scared for you. I thought I was losing you."

"I'm sorry Malio." "It wasn't your fault. None of that." There was something in his voice. A sound that triggered a feeling in me that I couldn't really interpret. It was like a dark premonition. Something that popped into your head without even knowing what that oppressive feeling was supposed to mean.

"Sheep now. I will be here. Always." Even before he had finished the sentence, a tiredness settled over me, which slowly drew me into a world where I was free and happy - with Malio by my side.

_ _

I paced up and down the room, lost in thought. Even though the Dakarias had cleaning staff, I kept dusting because I just couldn't calm down.

We had only been back a few hours and I was alone again. Malio had told me he had business to attend to.

As far as I know, Rash and Ivan were also there, which put me at the mercy of this house, which still intimidated me.

Although they were sure that the poisoning was Soela's account and that I was not in any danger, I had difficulty in eating anything.

To escape the constant urge to smell all the drinks and food that Malio, Rash, or Ivan himself got me, I had started cleaning the room.

It made absolutely no sense since it was already neat, but it put my mind at rest. At least until he knocked on the door.

My heart was racing and I dropped the duster. I held my breath for a moment, listening to the silence.

The renewed, much more violent, knocking made me wince.

"Jolien? Open the door or I'll open it for you." I recognized the threat in the voice and my heart stopped for a moment before it started beating again at an unbelievable speed and panic spread through my veins like liquid fire .