Feelings

As I walked through the front door, the warmth of the house was a welcome contrast to the chill I felt from the rain. Gray looked up from the kitchen, his expression shifting from surprise to concern.

“Hey, you’re back early,” he said, wiping his hands on a towel. “Why are you wet? Why didn’t you let me pick you up?”

I tried to brush off his concern, offering a small smile. “Just got caught in the rain. I didn’t want to bother you. I was already on my way back.”

Gray’s gaze softened, and he stepped closer, examining me with a mixture of worry and frustration. “You could have called me. I would have come to get you. It’s not like you to get drenched and not let me know. And wait, you were at the office? I didn’t see you there.”

I shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I just had some errands to run and got caught in the downpour. I didn’t realize you’d be at the office, or I would have let you know.”

Grayson’s concern didn’t waver, but he nodded. “Alright. If you’re sure. You look like you’re having a rough day.”

I nodded, trying to hide my true feelings. “Just a bit of a hectic day, that’s all.”

He looked like he wanted to say more but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing. “That must be Victoria,” he said, his expression brightening. “I forgot to mention she’s coming by tonight for a small celebration. She’s opening a new branch in Reviya.”

I tried to keep my tone neutral as I responded, “Oh, right. I’ll get started on preparing some snacks for everyone.”

Grayson looked pleased. “Thanks. It would be nice to have you join us.”

I hesitated, feeling a pang of exhaustion and a tinge of jealousy. “Actually, I think I’ll skip the gathering tonight. I’m really tired and could use some rest.”

Grayson’s face showed a flicker of concern. “Are you sure? It would be great to have you there.”

I shook my head, trying to sound as casual as possible. “No, really. I’m not up for it tonight. You and Victoria have a good time.”

He seemed to accept my decision but still looked a bit troubled. “Alright. If you’re sure. I’ll go get the door.”

As he walked away, I could hear the cheerful exchange between him and Victoria. It only made the heaviness in my chest feel more pronounced. The contrast between their easy camaraderie and my own restless mood was hard to ignore.

In the kitchen, I busied myself with preparing the snacks, but my thoughts kept drifting back to earlier events—the awkward encounter with Tristan, the unexpected rain, and my feelings of envy and discomfort. The laughter from the other room seemed to heighten my sense of isolation.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I needed to get through this evening with as much grace as I could muster, even if it was difficult to silence the growing storm of jealousy and weariness inside me.

I placed the small assortment of snacks and drinks on the kitchen island, arranging everything neatly. I tried to focus on the task, but my mind was elsewhere. Each plate of food felt heavier as I prepared them, burdened with a sense of emptiness I couldn’t quite shake. The laughter and chatter I could hear from the other room only deepened the void inside me.

As I finished, I quietly left the kitchen and headed to my bedroom. The door clicked shut behind me, and I sank onto the edge of the bed, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on me. I pulled my knees close, wrapping my arms around them as if trying to hold myself together.

The silence of the room was oppressive, amplifying the ache in my chest. It was strange how emotions could suddenly overwhelm you, even when you thought you had a grip on them. I tried to reason with myself—Grayson and Victoria were simply friends, it wasn’t their fault I felt this way. But every laugh, every shared memory, seemed to twist the knife deeper into my heart.

The tears started to fall, quietly at first, but then they came with more intensity. I pressed my face into my hands, trying to stifle the sobs that wracked my body. I felt foolish, my emotions a tangled mess that I couldn’t untangle. How had I let myself fall so hard for him? How had I let my feelings turn into this unbearable pain?

I thought about the moments I had shared with Grayson, the warmth of his presence, the way he made me feel like I was the only one who mattered. But now, seeing him so carefree with Victoria, it was like watching the reality of my unspoken feelings crumble before my eyes.

The tears didn’t seem to stop, flowing freely as I clung to the edge of my bed. I tried to tell myself to stop, that this wasn’t worth it, but each thought only brought more tears. The sadness was suffocating, like a heavy blanket wrapped tightly around me. I felt utterly alone in my sorrow, as if no one could truly understand the depth of what I was going through.

The hours seemed to stretch on endlessly as I lay there, silently crying, my pillow damp with my tears. I felt a mix of frustration and exhaustion. It was as if my heart had been wrenched open, exposing all its fragile parts. I felt so small and insignificant, lost in a sea of emotions I couldn’t control.

Eventually, my tears slowed, and the sobs became quieter. The weight of fatigue began to settle over me, pulling me towards sleep. I lay down fully, still wrapped in my sadness, my mind replaying memories of Grayson, our conversations, and the simple moments of joy we had shared.

As I drifted off to sleep, the pain didn’t disappear—it lingered like a shadow in the corners of my mind, a constant reminder of how deeply I had fallen for him. My dreams were filled with a restless longing, reflecting the emotional turmoil I felt. In the quiet of the night, with the world outside moving on, I was left alone with my heartache, clinging to the hope that tomorrow might bring a bit more clarity, or at least a reprieve from the tears.

I woke up to the soft caress of fingers brushing gently against my cheek. My eyes fluttered open to find Gray’s face inches from mine. His gaze was a mixture of confusion and deep concern, and the sight of him brought an immediate rush of emotions.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice tinged with worry. “I knew something was wrong. You have to tell me what’s going on, because I can’t sleep knowing you’re hurting.”

His touch was soothing, but the warmth of his concern only intensified the storm inside me. I took a shaky breath, struggling to find the words amidst the overwhelming emotion. I didn’t want to say anything that might make things worse, but the feelings had been building up for too long.

“I—I’m sorry,” I finally managed, my voice trembling. “I’m just… so incredibly jealous. Seeing you and Victoria together, so close, it’s been killing me. I didn’t want to say anything because she’s your childhood friend, and I’m just… just a wife on paper. I didn’t want to seem absurd or… clingy.”

Gray’s expression shifted from concern to a mix of anger and confusion. His jaw clenched, and he looked at me with intensity. “Who the hell told you that you’re just a wife on paper?”

I swallowed hard, the tears I had cried earlier threatening to return. “I’ve never felt this deeply about anyone before. I didn’t know how to handle these feelings. I kept telling myself it wasn’t right to be so possessive, but I couldn’t help it.”

His eyes softened, but the intensity remained. Before I could say anything else, he closed the gap between us, his lips crashing down on mine with an urgency that took me by surprise. The kiss was fierce and demanding, as if he were trying to convey everything he had been holding back for so long. His hands gripped my face, his touch both tender and fierce.

For a moment, I was lost in the sheer intensity of the kiss, the heat of his body pressing against mine, and the raw emotion that seemed to pulse through him. It was as though he was trying to merge his feelings with mine, to bridge the gap that had formed between us.

When he finally pulled away, his breath was ragged, and his eyes were filled with a mixture of relief and frustration. “Eli,” he said softly, his voice filled with emotion. “You mean more to me than you realize. I’ve been trying to keep my distance, thinking it would make things easier for you. But seeing you hurt like this… it’s tearing me apart.”

I looked into his eyes, feeling a deep ache in my chest, but also a flicker of hope. “I didn’t know how to handle this… how to handle what I’m feeling.”

He nodded, his expression softening. “Let’s figure that out,”

And shed another fiery kiss.