Chapter 230

"Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution." - Albert Einstein.

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Once she stabbed him, Heaven stumbled backwards and Zamiel shot his eyes open with a gasp. His breath came out in short rapid gasps and his face twisted in pain. She could tell breathing was difficult for him, but she couldn't do anything to help. Her legs refused to move, her body refused to obey her.

She stood frozen, while the voice in the back of her mind was slowly fighting its way through. Commanding her to move, but her body defied her.

It felt like her body didn't belong to her, and her mind felt like it became two separate parts. Somewhere far in the back of her mind was what she thought to be her real voice, and the front part, the one controlling her body, was unfamiliar. It made her stay calm in this horrifying situation.

Zamiel sat up and stared at the dagger in his chest before he turned to her. His eyes held so much pain she wanted to die right there. His eyes made her voice become louder and louder, fighting through with more force. Her heart raced, and she felt the panic slowly built up.

Zamiel grabbed the dagger and pulled it out. So much blood seeped from the wound and stained the white bedsheets.

He grimaced in pain before looking at her again. Those silver eyes looked tormented. They looked like the ones she had seen when she first met him. She had hoped she would never see that look in his eyes again, but here she was. Gazing into a pair of agonizing silver eyes.

"Did… did you have to poison it?" He asked, not sounding angry but hurt.

Poison?!

No! She didn't poison it. She would never! But even as she was thinking, nothing came out of her mouth.

Heaven felt as if she was suffocating. She was trapped in her own body.

Her body betrayed her, and she betrayed Zamiel. How could she do this? This wasn't her. She would never….

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She had to move or else she would kill him. But if she could move, would she run to him or run away? She wanted to help him, run to him, save him. She was desperate, but she knew she would have to leave him.

Come on Heaven! Move!

Zamiel looked like he could barely breathe. His face turned all shades and colors until no color was left. It turned pale while he lost more blood. He placed one hand on the wound to stop the bleeding, but his eyes never left hers. He looked her straight in the eyes and she wondered what he was thinking.

Hurt. He must be hurt and feeling betrayed and disappointed if he didn't hate her already. He must be angry.

But she wished his anger would make him move. Make him leave, since she wasn't leaving. Did he have a death wish?

Move Zamiel! Leave!

She prayed to God to give her the strength to move since Zamiel wasn't doing anything to save himself. She refused to think he would die. She couldn't let that happen.

More tears fell down her cheeks. Was she just going to watch her mate die?

No!

Her voice became louder, slowly getting through, and then suddenly she moved. But it was too sudden. Almost as if she woke up from a trance or a force left her body. It threw her off balance, but she didn't take the time to think about it. Her first instinct was to run to Zamiel, and that is what she did.

She shouldn't have, but her brain wasn't functioning right.

"Zamiel!" She pressed her shaking hands against his wound and over his hand, while bursting into tears. "What should I do? What have I done? I am so sorry. I have to... what... I need to…"

She was a mess and Zamiel looked at her with those dead eyes. Almost as if he couldn't see her or couldn't focus on looking at her. He was in too much pain and too weak. She was killing him.

His heartbeat was slowing down. She had to leave, and it was the hardest thing she ever had to do. "I am sorry. I...I have to go!"

How could she? It killed her. She felt like a part of her died as she teleported back home.

Heaven jumped straight into her bed and shook her grandmother violently to wake her up. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her hands covered in blood.

"Grandma!" She cried loudly.

Irene jumped out of her sleep.

"Heaven." When she saw the blood in her hands sat up hastily.

"Heaven. What is this? What…"

"Zamiel! I… I stabbed him. Please...hurry...save him. I can't... he... die." She could barely speak. She was shaking, crying, panting.

"What… why?"

"I don't have time." She got out of bed and dragged her grandmother out of bed as well. "Please, just go help him."

"Alright, alright." She said.

"What is happening?" Her mother woke up and when Heaven turned to her with the blood on her hands, she could see the horror in her mother's eyes.

Her mother hurried to her side with a thousand questions. "Did you hurt yourself? What happened? What is this blood?"

But Heaven was focused on her grandmother, who just wrapped a cloak around herself. "He will be fine." She assured before teleporting away.

Heaven didn't realize that she had been holding her breath and ignoring her mother completely until she shook her. "What is happening, Heaven?!"

Yes. What just happened?

"Heaven! You are frightening me!"

Heaven turned to her mother, feeling completely helpless and lost. She felt defeated. She had no strength left to even cry. She became numb for a short moment.

"I stabbed Zamiel. With a poisoned dagger. I stabbed him right in the heart." She spoke in a flat tone.

Her mother frowned. "He will be fine. He is ancient."

Heaven chuckled darkly.

She had promised Zamiel only one thing. To protect him. To never let him go through the same pain again, and now she stabbed him in his sleep. With a poisoned dagger. The thing he hated and feared the most.

This might not have been her doing, but it was her fault. Her grandfather had warned her, but she insisted on finding other solutions.

Why?!

More than her grandfather, she was angry with herself. She was warned many times. Through the dreams, through the bond and now her grandfather. She ignored all of that.

"Mother, I want to die." It came out as a whisper, yet the words left her mother shaken.

She was usually very protective of her mother and never made her worry, but right now she wanted to be held. She wanted to hide. Disappear.

"N0! Don't say that." Her mother hugged her tightly and stroke her hair. "Everything will be alright."

"No mother. Nothing is or will be alright."

Her grandfather kept his promises, and he must want her desperately if he was using such extreme methods to get her. She still couldn't understand what happened to her.

"Why did you leave?" Her mother seemed confused.

But Heaven understood everything. The way she had observed her mother and grandmother sleeping soundly. That must also have been her grandfather. The observations had been intentional to show her his power. He set up everything. He could do anything. He could put her whole family to sleep if he wanted to. She was powerless against him. They all were powerless against him.

Sometimes Heaven forgot that her grandfather was an ancient and not just any ancient. He was the devil. She should never forget. Forgetting was her first mistake.

She should have realized earlier that fighting was pointless. If she had just followed him, none of this would have happened.

She couldn't let her grandfather hurt anyone else because of her.

Who would he hurt next? Her father? Her mother?

He had so many ways to hurt her.

A shiver went down her spine as she thought of all the people she loved. One of them was already….

Tears burned her eyes. Her heart felt heavy, as if weighing on her lungs and making it harder to breathe.

It was killing her to be away from Zamiel when she knew his condition. She wanted to stab herself in the heart, but she didn't have to. Her heart was already bleeding.

Zamiel. She couldn't live with herself if anything happened to him. She would never forgive herself if anything happened to him.