Chapter 95

I sat up on the bed and looked around. Where was I? The last thing I remembered was sleeping next to Lucian in the woods and now I woke up in a strange room. Before I could dwell further on it Lucian walked inside.

"Good morning." He smiled.

"Good morning. Where are we?" I asked.

He came and sat next to me on the bed. Then he took my hand in his before looking deeply into my eyes.

"We are in the royal army camp. Things are going to get difficult and ugly from now on." He explained.

He was going to dethrone Pierre. But would the royal army help him? I got suddenly concerned.

"Will they help you?"

"Yes." He said with confidence. "And If they don't I'll do it myself."

A war. Again. I just wanted to live peacefully with Lucian but after everything he went through and those who betrayed and tortured him, they deserved to get punished.

A knock on the door made us both turn and soon a man in a military attire entered the room.

"Your Highness. General Black is ready to meet you." He said.

Lucian turned back to me. "Rest and I'll come back." He said.

"I'll come with you." I insisted.

He looked at me for a while then nodded.

General Black sat laid back in his chair, watching some of his men fighting with their swords. Once the soldier informed our presence General Black tore his gaze from the fight and turned to us. His eyes widened as he stood up slowly from his seat and approached us.

"Your Highness. It's really true that you are alive." He spoke.

"I am and you know what that means."

General Black frowned. "Yes I do. You want the crown."

"Yes and I need your army by my side."

Alright. This was too straightforward I thought.

General Black shook his head. "I am glad that you are alive but unfortunately I can't help you."

"Why?" I suddenly blurted.

He turned his gaze to me with a confused look on his face then turned to Lucian.

"This is my wife, Hazel." Lucian explained.

My heart stopped for short while. He said I was his wife. He believed me!

General Black turned back to me. "Your Highness, with all due respect this is a political matter and I don't think you understand." He said.

"Then explain to me." I demanded.

"Well…" He looked between me and Lucian. "King Pierre has many powerful allies. He could gather them all to defeat my army. Why would I let my men die in vain?"

"Pierre won't be able to gather his allies because I have the seal." Lucian explained.

I could see that general Black got even more surprised but he didn't ask any further questions.

"The people of this kingdom are suffering. Your father was a great ruler, your brother isn't. I am not sure if you will be a great ruler either." He explained.

"There is only one way to find out." Lucian said. "Are you willing to take that risk?"

"Don't disappoint me." general Black warned.

I was glad that he had agreed to help and they sat outside for awhile speaking and planning on what to do next while I watched the men fighting with their swords.

My thoughts wandered to Klara. She had promised me to teach me how to fight but would I ever meet her again? I had hoped she would teach me some things about politics as well. I didn't want to be someone who distributed with nothing. I wanted to be useful.

People admired Klara. They called her the warrior princess. Not only brave but beautiful and smart as well. She wasn't only the leader of their army but she was also politically active, especially in matters of war. She was an impressive woman indeed. I couldn't say that I didn't envy her.

Then my thoughts drifted further to Irene. I wondered if she was alright after meeting Lucian but probably not. I just wanted Lucian to reunite with his parents but I knew it would take a lot of time and work. Deep wounds didn't heel fast and even when they did, they left a scar.

Lucian was busy the whole day planning with general Black and took only lunch and dinner breaks. I was shown to a guest room, the room that I had woken up in earlier and I stayed there alone pondering about a lot of things. Nothing seemed to be right just yet. I didn't know where Lucian and I were in our relationship and if he remembered me although he seemed to not have remembered. I thought of ways to reunite Lucian with his parents and worried about Lucians plan to take the throne. I didn't want to lose him again.

While pondering on many things I went to the garden right behind the room and decided to spend some time there while waiting for Lucian. I was surprised when I found a swing just right next to a big tree. It reminded me of the white swing in our own garden except this one was a bit smaller and it was grey instead of white. I lay down on it and began to swing back and forth while recalling good memories and smiling to myself.

"What makes you smile so?" Suddenly Lucian was towering over me where I lay on the swing.

I just looked up at him for a while wondering how he still looked perfect after such a long day.

"I was recalling good memories," I said.

"Tell me about them." He urged.

I swung my legs down to make some place for him and he sat down.

"You won't believe it, but I was once just like today laying on a swing and smiling to myself when someone asked me the question you just asked."

"And...that person is me?" He asked raising a brow.

"Yes." I nodded. "The white swing in our garden was my favorite place to kill some time. I miss it."

He looked at me thoúghtful for a while. "You will get it back. I'll get it back for you." He said in a serious tone.

"For us." I corrected.

"Yes. For us."

"I wish to sit there with you every afternoon." I said entwining my fingers with his.

He stared at our entwined hands for a while. "And I wish to grant that wish." He smiled.

I snuggled up against him and he put his arm around me. We sat there for awhile until I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up in bed but I was still laying in Lucian's arm. From the way he breathed, I knew he was sleeping peacefully. I remained laying in his arms for a while but then I heard a strange sound coming from the garden. Carefully I slid away from Lucian's arms and got out of bed before making my way to the garden.

I opened the door slowly as to not wake Lucian and then peeked outside. There, on the grey swing Irene sat comfortably looking around. I stepped outside and carefully closed the door behind me.

"Irene." I whispered to grab her attention.

She turned her head. "Hazel. I am sorry I woke you up." She said getting up from the swing.

"You didn't. I was awake. How are you?"

"I am alright." She shrugged but I could see she wasn't. "How about you?"

"I am fine and so is Lucian." I knew that she wanted to know how he was.

She nodded. "I just...I don't know why I am here. I...I don't want to confuse him anymore. I want him to be happy but I am only hurting him. Maybe I should stay away."

"No! Don't! He is hurting because he has been alone for many years but that doesn't mean that he wants you to stay away. You have to fight for him." I said.

She looked down at her hands. "I don't know if I have the right to do that. I am not a good mother."

"You are and even if you are not you can be. For Lucian's sake."

She nodded again.

"And...I want to know everything Irene. Could you continue with your story? Maybe if I know the whole story I can help better." I explained.

"Yes. But some other time. Lucian might wakeup now."

"Alright."

We looked at each other for a while and then she reached inside the arm of her dress. "I have something for you." She said taking out a small book. "I know you are bored on your stay here so you can read this meanwhile."

"Oh, thank you." I said.

She reached her hand inside again. This time she took out a wooden flute. "And I know you like to play this."

"Good lord. How did you know?" I reached for it and grabbed it carefully. "It has been so long since I played this."

"Do tell me if there is anything else you need. I have to leave now but I'll come back."

"I will and thank you."

And then as usual she vanished into thin air. I stared at the empty place she had just been standing on. I knew I would never get used to this.

Lucian woke up after having the most harmonious sleep. He always slept well when Hazel was near but as he looked to his left she wasn't there. He sat up on the bed and looked around. Where had she gone?

Getting out of bed he began to dress when he heard a sound coming from the garden. It sounded like someone playing an instrument. Curious he went to the door and opened it carefully. Looking outside he found Hazel sitting on the swing playing the flute. The sound was beautiful and very familiar to his ears. It made him feel a kind of way he couldn't explain.

Lucian kept standing there, staring at her while she played. She looked much healthier now and her beauty seemed to come through. Her skin was less bruised and her hair fell down her shoulders in shiny waves. The little weight she gained took away the unhealthy appearance and enhanced her curves. When the wind blew her hair onto her face, she closed her eyes. She seemed lost in the sound and soon he was lost as well.

He didn't know where he was but suddenly he got caught by a sweet sound. It was Hazel playing the flute. Lucian had never seen her looking this beautiful. She was wearing a white wedding dress adorned with golden jewelry. Her beautiful reddish-brown hair was combed back and held in place with golden hairpins, and her cheeks and lips were painted. Her long lashes fell over her cheeks as her eyes were closed while she played the flute. Once she opened her eyes she stared directly into his and he felt his heart skip a beat.

Then he remembered the first time she said his name. The warmth that had spread throughout his body and the first time their lips touched. He remembered a thousand lights surrounding them.

He remembered her arms around his waist while they rode, around his neck while they kissed and around him while he died. He remembered her tears and her laugh and all the conversations they had, but most of all he remembered confessing his love for her. And together with the memory came the feeling. This woman was his wife and he loved her more than anything in the world. Yet, he didn't recognize her. How could he not?

Unaware he took a step back into the room.

Hazel. His wife.

How could he forget her? The only person who cared for him, the only person who knew the real him yet still loved him. How could he do this to her? Suddenly his throat felt dry and his head throbbed in pain.

Rage and guilt filled his chest. He felt useless and unworthy. He felt disgusted with himself. He was used to hating himself but the self-hatred he felt now was like nothing he felt before. He wanted to disappear, the pain he felt was too much for him to endure.

"Lucian, you are awake." Suddenly Hazel was inside the room. Before he could think she crossed the distance between then and wrapped her arms around him. He wanted to hug her back and cry but he didn't deserve to be comforted.

He didn't deserve her at all. He felt too dirty to hug her back as if he would stain her with his dirt.

After awhile Hazel drew back and gazed at him with a worried look on her face. "Is something wrong?" She asked.