She's Not Her
Jenna/Sr. Claire
Nothing!
That's what I found from my mission which I fail to accomplish. A week passed and I ended up with nothing but only to be chased around by the bear and saved at last by Shawn. It was so embarrassing to be scared by the big bear and then sleep on Shawn's back when he piggyback me.
Gosh, I've never asked him if I had snored or drooled on his back. Some things are better left to be unsaid, right?
I didn't uncover the connection between Jenna to Shawn. Then between her and Colby and his wife and everybody else. I didn't even get the proof to know if what I saw on the first day of my arrival here in the forest is wrong or just another illusion.
Ughh maybe I am wrong, darn.
The people here have been so good to me but God I am the sinful one for doubting them. Since there was no mystery for me to uncover. The story was simply how Jude explains it to me. A part of me refused to give up but I decided to let it go and enjoy my stay here.
Speaking of living here with full enjoyment is an understatement. Jude, Hanna, Colby, Shawn, and the kids had been friendly and made my stay comfortable at their house except for the wife. Hailey never smiles at me and she does ignore me whenever I am around them.
There are times when I want to ask her a question but she never looks in my way. She and the other women in Clearwood ignore me. It's like I am encountering a wall when it comes to her. However, despite that negative aura I always stay positive and keep smiling.
Today I play with the kids outside of the backyard and when I see Hailey I wave at her but she turns away talking to the other two ladies. Hanna looks at me as if she is about to cry and then she walks away from me and the kids.
"Hey, will you wait here while I go look for aunty Hanna," I told the kids and they quickly nod their heads yes? I enter the house from the back door and made my way to the kitchen. I hear harsh voices coming from the other corner of the house.
My curiosity pushes me to follow it. The voice grew louder and I stop 6 meters away from them. It is not in my interest to listen in but this town changes everything for me. I am just so curious to know what happened.
"Jenna was a bitch. She was never good enough for anyone" I hear Hailey say and the next moment I watch Hanna slap Hailey on the cheek. I let out a gasp and immediately put my hands around my mouth.
They still don't notice me. I quickly hid behind the cement wall and still eavesdrop on their conversation. "You don't get to talk about my daughter like that. She is way more worthy than you, who is nothing but a slut" Hanna raises her hand to slap Hailey. However, Hailey held it in the air.
"Now, she's your daughter" Hailey let out a mockery laugh. "It's funny Hanna. The last time I recall she was nothing to anybody"
"She was and still is everything to Shawn" counter, Hanna.
Hailey looks taken aback and I could see hurt in her eyes. Hanna takes advantage of her reaction and this time she pushes her buttons and hurts her with her words. "Remember, you were nothing to him when he first saw her. You were just there to fill a void in his heart for his mate" she spat and turn around storming out of the house.
"Mate" I mutter to myself. Okay, I think that is something. Gosh, I need to bring back the prosecutor skills that I have thrown away after coming up with nothing last week. I thought to myself.
Something dropped on my shoulder followed by a voice that made me jump alert. "Oh my Lord" I turn to find Jude looking me up and down and then his eyes darting around me. "Are you crazy?" I look back to where Hailey used to stand and luckily she's already gone.
"What are you doing?" I try to calm myself. Jude takes a step forward and cranes his neck to the other side. "I should be the one asking you that," he says with his narrow eyes. I half-smile trying not to look like a deer caught in headlights.
"Nothing I was just exploring" I smile brightly and walk away from him. I run-up to my room and shut the door. I touch my chest before lying down on my back and thought of what happened to Hailey and Hanna. I didn't even bother to come down again, not until it was dark outside.
One of the workers informed me that its dinner time. I shower and changed my clothes then made my way downstairs. We all gather around the table. Shawn, Jude, Colby, and Hailey were all there. The food is now served and we all waited for everything to be placed on the table.
"What happened to your cheek?" Colby asks Hailey. His hand reaches out for her cheek and cups it with his hand.
I glance at Hanna and find her stiffened with a plate in her hand. She stood there for another minute before she put the plate down slowly on the table.
"Tell me, Hailey," he said in a low dangerous tone that sounded more like a growl.
His expression is hard and you could see his eyes filled with anger. There is tension and before Hanna says anything I clear my throat "I am sorry Colby. It was I who did it"
"What?" his glare hardens and if someone's look kills then definitely I will be long gone. Shawn raised his brow and Jude gave me an amusing smile.
"I am-"
"No, she didn't do it Al- Sir. McCarthy" Hanna cut me off and straighten her back.
Colby slams his hand on the table making me jump. "How dare you do that. You should respect her," he yells at her.
"I am sorry Sir. But I am tired of her disrespecting and dishonoring the memory of my daughter," Hanna said while sobbing. "I had enough of it especially when she...she... said some pretty hurtful words about Jenna and Sr. Claire" Hanna struggles to say her words.
I peek my head up in interest. Interested that I get to be involved in this whole Jenna story. In some way, I was hurt too because if it was me I would have felt the same.
"You can punish me all you want but our Lu- I mean your wife was asking for it," Hanna said and wipes off her tears before walking out of the kitchen.
There's a long pause, nobody even dares to speak up. Everyone just keeps their eyes on Hailey who only looks down at her hands.
"Hail, when will you stop?" Colby was the first to speak breaking the silence.
"Everyone wants to go forward. I thought we've passed the Jenna part and I thought Shawn and I made ourselves clear to everyone that Jenna is not Sr. Claire," Colby said in a frustrated tone.
Hailey scrunches her face and looks up at Colby with an angry expression. I think it was wrong of Colby to say it because his wife looks angry. Before anyone can move her hand slammed on the table making me jump a little.
"Stop...stop...you ask me to stop" she scoffed.
"I can't stop when she.." she angrily pointed her finger in my direction. "She looks exactly like her. I hate her" she shouted.
"She's not her" Shawn defended me and push his chair back aggressively making me a bit scared. I am not used to people's shouting and violent expression.
"Stop it Hailey" Shawn warns her but Hailey didn't seem to get the memo.
"I can't stop" she yells at Shawn. "Whenever I see her I see Jenna. Gosh, she's Jenna and everyone here should admit that. I hate Jenna and I hate her" Hailey angrily added.
"She's not her" Colby's voice boomed throughout the kitchen. He moves away from his sit and pushes back his chair.
He walks right up to Hailey and grabs her by the arm aggressively. Shawn moves to them but Colby warns him. "Don't you dare Shawn, she's my priority and you better stay out of our businesses? My wife forgot her manners."
Now the conversation has overturned and it becomes a lover's fight. Shawn sat down at the dinner table, lowering his head. I couldn't tell what he was feeling since he avoided my eyes. Colby gave me an apologetic look.
"I am sorry for my wife's behavior. She's usually not like this and I hope you forgive us," he said and apologetically look at me before pulling his wife to go with him. I watch as he drags her by the arm.
"Excuse me, I have somewhere to go," Shawn said and stand up avoiding me.
I look at Jude and he mouth sorry and then he stands up to follow Shawn. I gave them both a weak smile before continuing to eat.
After eating by myself I clean the kitchen and wash the dishes. Then I walk up to my room. I pass by Colby's room and could hear yelling from inside. I ignore it and continue to walk to my room. I put away my veil and my nun clothes.
Then I take out a floral skirt that falls below my knees and a blouse. I let my hair down which falls below my shoulder. It has been so long since I let my hair down freely. I put on white sneakers that fit perfectly on my feet.
I made my way to the end of the dock. I sit down at the edge with my legs hanging down. The tip of my shoes almost touches the water. I look up to the full moon and let out a heavy sigh.
'What am I going to do?' I ask myself. 'Everyone thinks I am her but the truth is I am not her but simply Sr. Claire,' I thought. I watch the sky for a while before coming to a decision. I thought of what was best for everyone around me when tomorrow comes.












