Chapter 37
Ben raced towards the village, his beta by his side and his pack at his heels. The count had been close, closer than he had expected but as always, they had pulled through. Most of the pack were tired of the shit that they had to deal with because of Dawns and he knew the police wouldn't get involved. They had tried but after a few of the officers family members disappeared, they gave up.
The scent of Aiden filled his nose as he padded through the trees. His first job was to have his pack identify Aiden so they knew he was friendly, then he was to go after the Alpha. He hoped that he could unite the packs and force a change. Heaven knew it was needed.
A howl brought him from his thoughts as he rounded a huge tree trunk. Aiden was there, fighting with a smaller, almost mottled looking wolf. Ben howled and made a beeline for his son. The smaller wolf momentarily froze, then bolted into the trees, leaving Aiden alone in the clearing.
Aiden growled as Ben slowed to a trot, lowering his head. He didn't want to be submissive but he didn't want to risk Aiden not remembering him. He needed him to see no threat as he approached with the lack and they needed to get a good sense of his scent to be able to avoid any accidents during a fight.
Aiden growled once more as Ben tried to muzzle his neck, but Ben simply sniffed the air and tried again. The second time he was successful and moved to the side for Paul to do the same. As Ben watched each pack member follow, his heart swelled with pride at how Aiden was handling his new wolf.
Shifting wasn't easy, especially when you knew very little about it.
As the last wolf stepped aside, Ben howled, promptly joined by Paul. Hearing the order given, the pack howled in return as they all took off at a frenzied run, in search of their new prey. Paul followed and a split second later, Ben set off at a run following behind. He hoped that Aiden would follow but looking back, he saw Aiden just stood watching, as though unsure of what to do.
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When he had first seen the huge group of wolves heading towards him, Aiden had thought he was dead, for sure. Even when he had realised it was Ben and his lack, he never expected them to just stop. Being sniffed by fifty or so wolves that by rights, should have torn him to pieces for what he had done on their pack land, was something he couldn't understand.
As he watched them run towards the village, he couldn't help admire their unity. The way they moved together, each knowing that the other had their back no matter what, tugged at an emptiness that he never knew was there. He had never wanted or needed a family before, but he couldn't help wondering what it would be like to be one of them.
Shaking his furry head to clear his mind, Aiden set off at a run, then yelped as his hind leg gave way. A moment later, he found himself in his human form, lying on the forest floor.
"Aiden? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said, lifting his head to look at Ben.
"Don't be stupid. We can butt heads later when this is done. What's wrong?"
"Why are you here?"
Ben sat down beside him, looking him directly in the eye as he said, "Because you're my son and your mate needed my help. Tell me what's wrong. I might be able to help and if not, I'll get you to Sarah and safety. She's with your mate."
Aiden's shoulders felt lighter knowing Charlie was safe but he had made a promise to himself and he intended to keep it.
"I can't hold my shift. I don't know if it's the wolfsbane they strapped to my leg or if I'm just too weak. I just can't seem to do it."
"It sounds like you're holding back on him. The wolf, I mean. Almost as though you don't quite want to give in to him like you need to. You have to accept him for what he is and who he is, and that includes his instincts and needs. Until you do that, your subconscious will always push him back down when it thinks he can't survive. It's a defence mechanism, I guess. A way to protect the vulnerable and until you learn to accept him completely, he will always be vulnerable."
“And how am I supposed to do that?”
“You let him in there,” Ben said, prodding Aiden’s chest with his forefinger. “You let him in and let him guide you. Trust that he knows what’s right for you.”
“I can’t,” Aiden sighed. “I can’t do that.”
He had spent years protecting his heart from everything the wolf told him he wanted. Years of being alone, years of not wanting or needing a family and years of hurting people, for his wolf to want nothing but to protect, to love and to have companions.
“Why?”
“Because we are complete opposites,” Aiden replied.
Ben roared with laughter and shook his head as he stood. “Sarah was right, you are like me. You’re not opposites, Aiden. You're the same. Maybe you should start with asking yourself why you think you don’t want the things your wolf wants in his life? I have to go. I have an Alpha to hunt. If you can shift, you’re welcome to join us. Simon is there. If not, I can get someone to come and get you and take you to Sarah and Charlie.”
Aiden shook his head. “You go. I’ll be fine. Thank you for the counselling service but don’t give up your day job.”
He watched as Ben ran off, shifted to his wolf and disappeared into the trees. Alone with his thoughts, Aiden ran the conversation through his mind, asking himself the same question Ben had asked him - why do I not want what he wants?
“Because I’m afraid of being hurt.”
