Chapter 17

Maria Eduarda

Telling the truth only took a weight off my shoulders, and I didn't know that speaking it would help so much.

I sit on the floor, still hugging myself, and I don't have the courage to look at Leon. As much as they say that I don't have to feel shame, I still do, even though two years have passed.

If it wasn't for this crazy man, who I don't even know myself, my life could have taken a beautiful turn. Would I be married and have children? Would I ever have the courage to have sex without feeling like throwing up?

- Duda, look at me! - Leon asks, and I don't have the courage to look at him yet.

I hear his footsteps coming towards me and I am pulled into his arms, crying even harder.

- Look at me, my queen! - he asks, tenderly, and lifts my face, making me look at him.

- Leon, forgive me! - I look away from him.

- There's nothing to forgive, my queen! It's not your fault what happened to you!

- I feel so dirty! - I confess, not wanting to look at him.

- My queen, you don't need to feel dirty! - he hugs me tighter.

- I am afraid of him!

- Nothing and no one will harm you, my queen!

- How can you be so sure? - I ask, now looking up at him.

- Because I will hunt the son of a bitch down and I will make him pay so dearly for doing you so much harm, my queen," Leon swears, and I believe his words.

- Leon, because of him I have always been afraid to go near a man.

- My queen, by my side you can be sure that you will always be safe," he pulls my face and touches my lips with his mouth very lightly. It was automatic, and soon we were holding each other. Leon led me to the bed, and when I felt us arrive I lay down gently.

It was as if Leon was afraid of hurting me, and I thought it was beautiful of him. And we stayed like that, kissing, him running his hand over my face, and my hands running over his hot body.

- You are so beautiful!

- You're beautiful too! - I return the compliment, and soon Leon's hands move down to my legs and caress them. Suddenly he lets go, and I'm left there, panting and aching. - Will you help me forget what happened to me?

- We can't! - he says, frustrated, running his hands through his hair. I feel sad, my eyes fill with tears and I begin to sniffle.

I soon hear his footsteps coming toward me and realize that the mattress is sinking. His hands pull me into his arms. That's when I start to cry more and more.

- Why are you crying, my queen? - he asks, worried, and hearing him call me that makes my heart soothe. I was afraid that after he learned what had happened he would stop calling me his queen.

- Leon, you're right," I remark, taking a long sigh.

- About what?

- About not wanting to have sex with me.

- And why do you think I don't want to make love to you? - he corrects me, shocked, and pulls my arms around himself.

- Because you said you can't! And since I told you my past, I don't think you want to get involved with a woman who has been raped," I remark, still feeling the pain of rejection.

- My beautiful queen, you don't understand anything! - he brings my face close to his.

- I understand, and you are right to be disgusted with me.

- Don't talk such nonsense! - he exclaims, bringing his fingers to my mouth to silence it, and runs his thumb over my lips, stroking them lightly. I love your touch.

- It's not bullshit what I'm saying.

- It is bullshit! I'm crazy about you!

- I'm crazy about you too," I confess, still looking at him.

- You have no idea how hard I am trying to control myself!

- What do you mean, in control?

- My beautiful queen, I am a man who is fighting with all his strength not to lay you down on this bed and make you mine at once.

- And why don't you make me yours at once?

- Because, my queen, you deserve something special for your first time!

- Did you forget that I'm not a virgin anymore? - I joke, and he looks at me and says:

- You may not be a virgin anymore, but I want our first night to be so special, you'll think it's your first time.

Hearing him say those words made my heart overflow with love for him. How is this possible? I barely knew him and at the same time I knew that I could put my life in his hands, that he would surely take care of me.

- I'm afraid that I won't be able to satisfy you.

- Oh, my beautiful queen, you don't have to worry!

- Oh, no?

- No, my beautiful queen, and I'll show you," he removes his hand from my face and takes mine and brings it to his lap. My goodness, he was very excited.

- Oh, my God! - I whisper, curious.

- You see! That's the way I feel about you, with such a nice erection, that I keep controlling myself not to masturbate," Leon confesses, with that smile that makes my panties instantly wet.

- And does it hurt?

- Sometimes it gets very painful.

- And what can I do to help relieve it? - my hand seems to have come to life and keeps moving very slowly.

- Ah, my queen, feeling the touch of your hands certainly helps to relieve it! - he lets out a soft moan.

- I think I'm hurting you - but when I go to take my hand off his cock, he holds it up and says:

- Leave it on a little longer!

- Am I hurting you?

- No, my beautiful, you're just easing my pain," he says hoarsely.

- Are you sure?

- Quite sure. Come here, closer!

I move my face closer to him. Leon takes my other hand and brings it up to his, caressing my face, then moves it to the back of my neck and brings my face even closer to his. Soon our lips are touching again, and the simple touch makes me float.

- Our... - I whisper, as soon as we stop kissing to take a breath.

- I'm the one who says... gee...

- I need to go home - I need to get my head on straight.

- Stay here with me!

- I can't, Vane must be worried that I haven't called.

- Rest assured, my queen, I have already spoken to her.

- And what did she say?

- She said it's fine!

- She didn't fight?

- No, she knows very well that her sister is protected with me - he says this with such conviction, I find it beautiful in him.

- And does she know that her sister is in her protector's room?

- Oh, that she doesn't need to know! It is our secret.