13. Goblin Merchant (1)
For two days, nothing really happened.
Thus, I utilized the time to set up some preparations. Boarding up the windows, installing a new lock on the door, teaching the girls house manners, e.t.c.
At first, they didn’t even know how to use a toilet.
“…What is this. Did you seriously just… pee in the sink?”
“Sink? What’s that? Usavich doesn’t know anything about that.”
“You.”
“Lalalalala!!”
Though now that I think about it, it makes sense. It must be a new experience for them, after all.
But.
It’s important to administer “correction”.
“Kyaaaaaak!!”
“Just because it’s your first time here!! You think you can use my house as your damn playground!?”
“Usavich is sorry!!”
“How many times do I have to tell you!!”
“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaakk!!”
“To not pee in the damn sink!!”
“Usavich is sorry… sob… please stop hitting my forehead… sob…”
Other than that, life was pretty much peaceful. Jarari was rather attached to me, so I had to hold her hand at all times. Maybe a little beyond attached? I even had to sleep in the same bed with her, otherwise her stress would increase tremendously.
Thankfully, Usavich required less maintenance. I simply set up a dog bed in the living room for her.
But anyways, peace never lasts long.
Cliche, right?
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
A visitor had arrived at the door.
Now, whether it was an assassin, lunatic monster like Miss Irene, or a bounty hunter was the question.
Therefore, I had Usavich answer the door.
I’m sorry to say, but if we’re being honest, she was the least valuable person in our three-person alliance. To start, the quest would automatically fail if Jarari were to die. In addition, I’m not the type of person to sacrifice myself for others. My apologies, but that’s just not my style.
But that doesn’t mean I’m a heartless person who carelessly sends a young child to her death.
In terms of destructive power, Usavich was actually number one.
…Well, she was only number one because I hadn’t found the will to test Jarari’s strength. I had a rather peculiar feeling that the outcome wouldn’t be pretty if I were to do so.
Right now, Jarari was carrying me. I found it to be the most efficient way to relieve her stress. Perhaps it had a similar effect to holding a teddy bear or something like that.
Thus, we ‘convinced’ Usavich to stop being lazy and answer the door.
“Mutter mutter… damn human… mutter.”
“What’s that? Speak up.”
“N-Nothing!”
Snap!
The small mermaid snapped her fingers, and one of the cups of water we had placed near the door began to violently swirl and shake.
We had actually placed these cups throughout the apartment, but mostly in areas where it was likely something dangerous would occur. Like windows, doors, and the vents.
Areas where assassins could enter from.
You might be wondering what we could even do with such measly preparations.
Well… it’s important not to underestimate.
“Kyahahahaha!!”
Suddenly, Usavich doubled over and began to laugh to herself as the cup that was shaking fell over, splattering water all over the floor.
“Crazy bitch.”
I whispered underneath my breath to Jarari, and she nodded ever so slightly.
“Come to mater, pushka!! Come to my embrace!!”
Usavich cheered and raised a small fist to the ceiling, shouting out strange words.
And along with it.
Creeeeeeeaaaaaaak.
A rustic-looking cannon, one you would find in one of those historical museums, began to appear from the water.
When I found out Usavich had the ability to use portals, I realized something interesting.
As long as there was water in this apartment. Even if it’s only a drop.
We could turn this place of living into a minefield of weaponry and arsenals.
Isn’t that amazing? There’s something quite romantic about it.
Cannons, muskets, rifles, even swords and sabers. With just a snap of the fingers, Usavich could pull these weapons from her pirate ship to use against unwanted intruders.
At first, I was worried Usavich was someone who was utterly worthless. That her only skill was being able to talk a lot, yet her words had zero meaning or value whatsoever.
Well, I guess it proves you can’t judge a book by its cover.
“Now, who’s there! Who dares approach the place where the great Usavich stays? Kyahaha!!”
“Hellooo.”
From the other side of the door, someone spoke.
“State your purpose… Immediately!!”
“I’m here to collect some debts.”
What…?
Debt?
I wriggled out of Jarari’s grasp and approached the door immediately. I could feel Usavich staring at my back with a startled expression on her face.
Was she perhaps scared that she would have to meet the person she was laughing at five seconds before?
Whatever the case may be, I gripped the handle tightly, waiting for the system to respond.
If a message came from the system telling me that my life was in danger, then the plan was that Jarari and I would run straight to the bedroom…
…While Usavich fought to the death with the intruder.
When she first heard of the plan, Usavich herself had a tantrum and squirmed around on the floor, but she readily accepted it after I showed her a picture of ice cream. The power of rewards was not to be underestimated.
Thankfully, there was no message, so I opened the door ever so slightly.
“Hello…?”
“Hello.”
A woman who was small in stature. Taller than Usavich, but still quite shorter than me, around the level of my chest.
But what was most eye-catching was the color of her skin, which was a light shade of green, and the two long ears that slicked back towards her head.
“Huh? A goblin?”
A goblin… like from one of those fantasy games.
Goblins. They had a negative reputation, that’s for sure. I was reminded of a particular anime…
Well, that’s besides the point. Like I said before, it’s best not to judge a book by its cover.
Perhaps this was a kind goblin. A goblin who’s come to spread love and sing songs about peace and happiness.
“Hello, Mr. Mirai. I’ve come to collect your debt.”
Ah.
My fantasy was shattered.
Debt, huh. These types of guests were usually unwelcomed before the apocalypse, and it was still the same now.
“A debt…?”
“That is correct, Mr. Mirai.”
The goblin girl lowered her head and bowed, giving me a slight eye-smile as if teasing me.
Sure enough, she had abruptly pushed a debt bill on me and was now pressuring me to pay up.
Her actions were like a veteran maid. Her every movement was well-disciplined.
Except for the fact that I couldn’t even feel the least bit of respect towards me. She gave off the feeling that she had only bowed because greetings were a core part in social interactions.
“If you see here, Mr. Mirai has taken a loan of 100,000 dollars from the firm, J. Smith Co., around this time two weeks ago. Since the day to pay the interest has arrived, this one has come in person to meet you.”
“My god…”
I closed my eyes tightly.
I was a fool for becoming overly optimistic. To think that I had been humming and smiling while setting up water cups throughout my apartment.
I had put my life on the line while handling Miss Irene, and now, there was a debt collector at my door. Economic aggression after an armed protest. It was like standard colonial policy in the 1700’s. It was almost admirable.
I wanted to give a standing ovation to this slick diplomatic approach.
If the person directly involved wasn’t me, that is.
Fucking hell.
“Mr. Mirai?”
While I was up to my neck with despair, the goblin girl had tilted her head.
“Er… what if I told you… it wasn’t me… who took out that loan…”
“Hm? But it says here in the files that you did. And even more, we have records that you bought sixty cans of beer with it and more.”
“Oh.”
It was true. To be honest, after the apocalypse started, I took out a loan… and blew it all while living like a bum.
Damn it. I thought with society collapsing, money would become worthless.
For now, in order to figure out the person’s name, I used the system.
[Reisse Gier]
[Money is the root of all evil.]
[Current Favourability: Zero]
[Hint: The richer you are, the more she’ll like you.]
So her name was Reisse.
I composed myself to have a serious expression. It would be fitting to lie from here on. Since the affection was at a whopping zero, something I had never seen before, it’d only be appropriate to speak a bit coldly to her.
But I wonder why its zero.
Perhaps.
Because I have zero money..?
“Reisse. There’s a secret that I must tell you.”
“…”
Eh?
I don’t know why, but the girl had slightly raised her eyes. It seemed like she was surprised by what I had said. I didn’t really say anything strange, and yet her reaction was weird.
“What’s the matter?”
“How do you know this one's name?”
“God.”
“...”
“Wait a minute, why do I even have debt? It’s the damn apocalypse.”
“J. Smith Co. was sold to Friends Inc., an inter-dimensional mega company. Thus, your debt is now under our discretion.”
“...I see.”
I cleared my throat and changed the subject.
“Ehem. The secret is that…”
I leaned in close, until I was eye-to-eye with her.
Truthfully, she was quite pretty, with dark eyelashes and eyes that glimmered like emeralds.
“...I have nothing. Not even a single penny.”
“Is that so.”
Reisse gazed at me with the same smiling face, yet the emotions that lay underneath remained undetectable.
After a bit, it seemed she had understood in her own way and bowed her head once again.
“Then Mr. Mirai will become property under Friends Inc. and will be transported into a nearby colony to mine for the rest of his life.”
“Actually, I’d like to request something.”
“Yes.”
“…Just give me thirty days.”
Reisse Gier blinked.
“Pardon?”
“I will most definitely pay within thirty days, so please grant me a bit more time. Okay? I beg of you.”
“…”
Her gaze became cold.
“One week.”
“Very well. One week.”
One week?
Hah.
I’ll drag out another week. And another week. And another, another week. Until I finish the quest, where I’ll receive protection and she won't be able to lay a single finger on me anymore.
In other words, it's like running away to a foreign country to escape debt.
"Oh, and..."
"Yes?"
"Do you perhaps have any 'magical' items that you could sell to me?"
The goblin girl smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Certainly, dear customer."
