15. Interdimensional Assassins (1)
“You might be wondering why I’ve assembled you all.”
Usavich, Jarari, and I were sitting down.
An ominous atmosphere filled the air.
Gulp.
“Ehem. What is it human?”
Usavich swallowed nervously, her throat bobbing slightly from the motion.
“...”
Jarari was also looking at me, but with an utterly expressionless face devoid of any emotion.
I closed my eyes and leaned forward, pressing my fingers against the bridge of my nose.
“With regards to today’s spoils…”
In the living room, in front of the television set, I had neatly laid out all the magical items I had ‘borrowed’ from Reisse.
I wasn’t exactly sure what would happen if I touched them carelessly, so, for now, that area was the containment zone. Thus, I also had to move Usavich’s bed into my bedroom.
“I decided that you all deserve… a reward!”
WAM!
I opened my eyes sharply and slammed my palms onto the table.
“A reward you say…?”
Usavich turned her head and muttered quietly. Despite her attempts to appear nonchalant, her twitching nose gave away her excitement.
“Well, what is it human!”
“I’m glad you asked.”
I got up and opened the refrigerator. Tacked onto the side was a crayon drawing that the mermaid had made during the two-day preparation. Though ugly, it had a certain charm.
After a bit of searching, I located a box, which I pulled out and placed on the table.
“What is this, human…?!”
“...”
I smirked confidently, then opened it.
“It’s ice cream. A delicacy of the human world.”
“Ice… cream?”
“Correct. Ice and cream combined together. That’s why they named it ice cream. Pretty smart, yeah?”
It was vanilla ice cream.
Since it was the first experience, I wanted to start it off simple. Perhaps I could feed them more interesting flavours later, but for now, the ‘basic’ option was the best.
“Oh…!”
“...”
Usavich’s eyes were sparkling widely, a thin line of drool on her mouth. Jarari was stoic like always.
“This is interesting, Usavich is pleased!! But wait– let me make my preparations!”
“Preparations?”
“Of course!”
Snap!
The sink faucet began to erupt with water, filling the basin rapidly.
“Usavich wants to experience this as perfectly as possible.”
“Well… just don’t do anything crazy.”
Well, what could her preparations even be.
I’m sure it's something simple. Like a special spoon that she wants to use because of memories.
Or maybe candles to set the atmosphere.
I mean, it’s probably nothing that wild–
“Hmm? Well, if it isn’t the butler.”
“What the hell!!”
“...!”
[Jarari’s stress has increased slightly.]
A man crawled out from the accumulated water in the sink, covered head to toe in black cloth and carrying a bloodstained sack. From the swaying openings in the man’s outfit, I could make out clawed hands and scaled legs.
Usavich rose elegantly and went to greet him, casting her arms wide. As if presenting this strange man to me.
“This poor form to discipline a servant in the presence of a guest. Give the butler your thanks, human!!”
“Um… hello?”
“Butler, this is my employer! He’s a human, and despite his dim-witted appearance, he’s actually quite the schemer!! Kyahahahaha!!”
“A pleasure, Mr. Dim-Witted Employer. I am Usavich’s humble butler, friend of passengers and pirates alike. I will follow any command you desire… I await your instruction.”
“Ah… Uh, nice to meet you, too.”
I felt my face stiffening slightly.
Who is this in my kitchen.
Why is he even here.
I just wanted to eat ice cream, and now, there was this strange guy.
The butler’s tone of voice was as unsettling as his appearance. Perhaps noticing my discomfort, he scratched his cloth-laden cheek.
“Ah, well, it is true that I’m a bit mixed even for a beast-kin and that my appearance makes it hard to tell what my primary lineage is. But I’m not that different from the fine beast-kin you’re familiar with, so there’s no need to be quite so alarmed.”
“Beast-kin…?”
“Beast-kin, like Jarari and I, you fool!! Pay him no mind, butler. This world is quite strange, and he is a resident of it. ’Tis best to leave lost children to their own devices. Kyahaha!!”
I felt a slight throb in my forehead.
Usavich was suddenly looking down on me now that her friend had arrived. She couldn’t say a peep before when it was just me and Jarari…
I’ll have to flick her forehead later.
“Understood, my lady.”
The butler nodded, and as Usavich turned to face him, he pulled out an assortment of cutlery. He showed each to the mermaid in succession and then returned them to his jacket.
“Spoon livers, forks of intestines, as well as knife tongues and hearts. Assuming they meet your requirements, I can carry them to your ice-spirit fridge for you.”
“Yes, good work. I leave it to you.”
“Now that I think about it, do you eat humans, Usavich?”
“Perish the thought, human. Your flesh tastes terrible. Why should I pay exorbitant prices for something that isn’t even worth eating?”
“I’m glad that your hang-ups are logistical.”
Upon hearing my remark, the butler hopped up and down as he made his appeal.
“It is true that human meat is quite bitter and also true that it is an acquired taste, but there are many who find it quite enjoyable. If you would like to try some, Sir Dim-Witted Employer, it’s relatively cheap at the moment. Perhaps it would open a new culinary door for you.”
“First of all, my name is Mirai, not Dim-Witted Employer. Also, I’m pretty sure that’s not a door I should be opening.”
“Oh, but are you certain?”
“Very.”
“Very?”
“Hmmm, cheap, you say Butler? Has there been any changes in the Seven Seas since I’ve been gone?”
“Ah, you see, there’s been a conflict in the fifth and fourth–”
[Jarari’s stress has increased.]
“I’m sorry to intrude on your unsettling conversation, butler, but I’ll have to kindly ask you to… leave? My friend Jarari is a bit shy, you see.”
“Oh, of course! I’m only here to give my lady her utensils.”
“Well, then. Carry on, butler! This Usavich will now be feasting on ‘ice cream’!”
“Take care, my lady.”
Like that, the butler crawled back into the sink and disappeared.
“Huh.”
I reached across the table and held Jarari’s hand, trying to relieve her stress.
“That must’ve been scary, that guy was so weird. It’s all Usavich’s fault, right?”
“...”
[Jarari has never been scared in her entire life.]
“Wooow, our Jarari is so brave!”
“Ugh. Human, give me the 'ice cream' already.”
“And you!!”
Wham!
“Kyaaaaaaaghhhhh!!”
I flicked Usavich’s large forehead with moderate force.
“Why’d you teleport that strange guy here! You seriously ruined the mood, damn it!!”
“Usavich is sorryyy!!"
“You think saying sorry will fix things that can’t be fixed!!”
…
It took a bit of time for things to settle down, but eventually, everyone had three scoops of ice cream in their respective bowls.
Jarari stared at the bowl in front of her, and slowly lifted her spoon.
She paused abruptly.
Her eyes flicked briefly to me, then to Usavich, who was already shoveling ice cream into her mouth with reckless abandon.
“Kyaaaaa!! It’s so cold! Sweet! This is incredible!! Human!! More!!”
“Slow down, you’re going to…!”
“Kyaaaa!!”
She clutched her forehead and slumped forward onto the table.
“...get brain freeze.”
Jarari watched this happen in silence.
Then, carefully, she scooped a very small amount and brought it to her lips.
She froze, and her eyes widened a fraction.
Amusingly, a faint tremor ran through her shoulders.
You like it, huh.
Welcome to the amazing advancements of human society, you outsiders.
“…?”
Jarari took another bite, slightly larger this time. Her grip on the spoon tightened.
She took a third bite, then a fourth.
Her eating speed began to increase dramatically. It was almost scary, as it had reached the point where it was like watching a robot who was specifically designed to eat ice cream.
“Do you like it?”
I smiled involuntarily.
Jarari glanced at me, then firmly nodded once.
Her tail gave a small flick as well.
“Oh?”
Usavich grinned, recovering instantly.
“Ohohoho? Human, do you see that?! She likes it!!”
Jarari’s ears twitched, but she did not deny it.
Instead, she reached out, pointed at the ice cream box, then held up two fingers.
“You want more?”
She nodded twice, this time.
Jarari calmly scooped the last of her bowl, ate it, then slid the empty dish forward, placing it neatly beside mine.
Then she pointed at it, and at the box again.
“…All right, all right. Anything for our cute Jarari.”
As I served her another scoop, I felt a small tug on my sleeve.
It was Usavich with a flustered expression on her face.
“Human…”
She mumbled quietly.
“Can we eat this forever…?”
I barely held back a laugh, and smiled warmly.
“Why not?”
That wouldn’t be so bad.
In fact, it would be fun, I think.
I leaned back in my chair and observed the two girls furiously eating ice cream. I felt a sense of warmth in my heart.
But.
“What is this…?”
I crinkled my eyebrows, as I pulled out something that had been slipped into my pocket.
It was a piece of paper.
I unfolded it, and there was one message.
[please protect my lady from the six terrors of the sea.]
