CHAPTER 77

Damien's POV

The intention to tell her what occurred in Italy vanishes into thin air when one sees her in underwear.

Instead, as I watch her approach, my pulse quickens and a knot forms in my throat, leaving me speechless.

I've been reflecting on everything that transpired in Italy and how she professed her love for me because I had a rough day.

I regret it. I regret placing her in this predicament, and I want to make amends before it's too late.

Lisa accused me of exploiting her before we ever had sex, and now that we have, I'm starting to believe her.

We can't have a relationship, it's impossible. One year from now, she must go.

I didn't give any of this much attention until we arrived in New York this morning, at which point I understood that retaining her is a component of utilizing her.

I shouldn't confine her like this. I shouldn't let her believe that we may develop a deeper relationship. She shouldn't have high expectations of me because then I can disappoint her and upset her.

Love is undoubtedly a powerful word. I am aware that I am drawn to her sexually.

She was there for me when I needed a woman, I told myself as I kept questioning myself why I had sex with her. I've been single for far too long, and I must never lose sight of why I've been alone.

Not while Helena continues to appear in my dreams.

She is neither sobbing nor laughing this time; instead, her look is emotionless.

Last night when Lisa and I slept together, I dreamed about Helena not being happy or sobbing. I'm not sure what to make of it, but it's undoubtedly a bad indication.

It must serve as a reminder for me to get my priorities straight and stop jeopardizing Lisa's life. She is merely here to keep things between us from breaking down.

"How was your day today?" Her minty breath is fanning my face as her hands encircle my head, forcing me to accept her pink, sweet lips, which I can't get enough of.

I should be able to handle it. This kind of connection is unhealthy for both of us. I can't love anybody else except Helena because I'm too damaged. Lisa already loves me, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I felt the same way about her since I knew I didn't.

I can't love two women at once, yet I still adore Helena.

I want to avoid hurting Lisa. I should certainly express my feelings to her. We should no longer act like a genuine couple by having sex or cuddling up in each other's arms; instead, our relationship should be platonic moving forward.

I feel a throbbing in my pants, but I'm unsure whether it's from her hands sliding down my chest or from the memory of the sex and how tight she was that sent me over the brink.

She was completely virgin. Her virginity was mine.

I remove her hands from me while lowering my head as I moan internally from the shame that is consuming me.

"Damien?" There is an aura of worry, which usually bothers me. Are you alright?

I raise my head and get the guts to tell her what's on my mind and what I've been considering all morning.

She grabs my briefcase and leads me to a chair before I have a chance to speak. It was at this point that I realized how long I had been standing next to the door due to my star-struck reaction to seeing her in this stunning underwear for almost five minutes.

"Has anything happened at work? Are you okay? Has the draft's status been decided? She requests right away. She takes a seat next to me on a couch with her hands on mine.

My body experiences unexplained changes only from the contact. It makes me shiver and makes me think of an incident that ought never to occur again. anything that won't occur once again.

I have to control my feelings and myself. In this case, Lisa must come first in my mind. I was being a jerk when I asked her to be my wife. I've always been egotistical, but no more.

I cannot eliminate her. After the commitment I made to Helena, I cannot be really wedded to another woman. That would be another betrayal, and I could have to live my whole life in penance for my misdeeds.

This curse must be lifted from Lisa. it's me. I'm destined to be broken for all time. not to feel any sympathy anymore.

She yells "Damien" louder this time, and I quickly get up off the couch and let her hands fall off of me.

Lisa, why did we have sex like that?

I'm facing her when stillness slowly begins to envelop me, prompting me to turn around to gauge her response.

I really don't know where to begin, so I made the decision to simply go right to the point without saying anything else.

I am such a moron. I am egotistical and stupid. I f***ing had sex with her just as she was ready to accept Romeo. I ought to have let her accept him. He could have been a better option. He doesn't seem to be broken, just like a bunny, at least.

I'm dying in the stillness. I make a quick spin around to face her piercing eyes. She also seemed perplexed.

I say, "That sex in Italy shouldn't have happened", as I take in her serene demeanor. "We should not have let that occur. Remember that we have a contract that binds us?

She utters "I reminded you" gently as if she doesn't care about anything. Her cleavages are more visible because of the way her arms are clasped across her bosom.

It's unbelievable, I said outright that the contract would be unconditional, and I haven't just done the opposite of that.

"Yes, you did, but it was done in a hurry. I was fu***ng drunk," I say emphasizing the intoxicated while trying to keep my voice down.

She is still sitting down peacefully, which surprises me since I thought she would attack me.

Damien, you were sober," she counters, cocking her head to the side. "You weren't that inebriated. You were acting with knowledge.

I gently call out, "I was drunk, Lisa," hoping she would get the idea without me having to go into great detail.

Do you remember how she used to be patient? I really need her to be understanding right now more than ever. I don't want us to spend too much time debating this. Let's just pretend it never happened and go on with life as usual.

"What about tomorrow?" As I uncomfortably stand in front of her, her inquiries bring me back to life. "I awoke the next morning to an empty bed. The cover wasn't on the bed, and neither were you. What about the fact that you desired me and begged me to reject Romeo? What about the way you expressed concern for and desire for me? Should I also discuss your kisses and sexual contact with me?

Her voice is in distress. That's it.

Unfortunately, Lisa, this is for the best. Let's disregard it.

Are you with me, f***ing? Are you insane? Are you crazy? That romantic night should be forgotten, right? She leaps up and points a finger at me as she comes closer, her eyes streaming with tears.

I'm at a loss for words at this point. I'm not sure whether I should reassure her that she will be well taken care of in order to appease her. She isn't even aware of the surprise I have in store for her yet. It's meant to appear when we've fixed the issue.

She continues, without yelling, "Romeo was right," and I lift my head up, my face radiating interest.

I want to know what Romeo was correct about.

"He was ultimately correct, and I was mistaken. I am foolish, thus my strong beliefs are always incorrect. He attempted to warn me that you would use and discard me, but I stood up for you and this just happened the day after.

I continue to watch while feeling another lump in my throat.

She quickly wipes away her tears and puts up her two hands. What do you know? I've had enough of this garbage! This charade is over for me! I've had enough of this fraud! I'm done with being the target of abuse! I am going and no one can stop me, you filthy piece of garbage!"

"What?!" As she passes me, I yell out loud and shake my head. "Never, Lisa!"

Say, "Let go of me!" She shouts at me as she releases my grip on her hand. She brings her bag out of the closet after walking there.

I rushed over to her in a hurry.

I can't allow her to go. not right now. There are still months left to complete our deal. Although we have already broken the terms of the contract, we may make things right by acting as if we hadn't.

When I consider being without her, my rate quickens. How can I persuade her to remain?

When I go near to her and she starts sobbing loudly, she starts throwing the clothing in the closet at me.

Stop this, Lisa, and let's discuss. She keeps hurling all the garments at me while I shout at her from behind.

"F*** you! I hate you. I don't want to converse with you. I don't expect anything in return.

"Lisa!" She warned me that she would strike me with her luggage if I got too near. I recline and grimace at myself.

How can I pacify her?

She has changed into a respectable gown and is starting to cram the clothing that is on the floor into the bag when I raise my head to look at her. She pushes me away when I hurry over and quickly runs to the door without the baggage.

"Lisa!" I shouted a caution for her to halt by the door so we could resolve this calmly.

She exits the room before I get a chance to stand up.