CHAPTER 79
Damien's POV
When I watched her sprinting out of the gates before anybody could stop her, a feeling of nostalgia struck me. It made me think of an incident from two years ago that was comparable.
Helena.
The same thing Helena did was this. She stormed out in rage after we fought. Not like I just did with Lisa, I didn't follow her. I'm doing this because I don't want destiny to strike again.
If Lisa experiences the same thing, I doubt that I will ever be able to relax.
I'm happy to see her here and not someplace else as I sit just in front of the vehicle and look up at the home. I stayed behind her for two reasons. to make sure she is okay and to find out her destination.
Before getting in the vehicle to go to Gabriel's house, I sigh deeply. I received his call earlier when I was driving and escorting Lisa's taxi to her grandmother's house. Even though I couldn't pick up, I phoned him as soon as I arrived to see if he was at home.
I've been here for a while now. I'm not sure whether Lisa's leaving the home or if she's furious, but I'm unhappy.
I'm lost in contemplation as I drive away from the home as the engine roars to life.
I'm carrying this out for us. to her. I want to avoid hurting her. I don't want to let her down, but she can't see that I'm trying.
It's not proper for me to try to appeal to her on a physical level. I have no choice but to live this way. If I broke my promises to Helena, she wouldn't be happy ever again. I want to show her the respect she deserves one final time.
To be quite honest, Lisa makes me happy, but at the end of each day, happiness leaves me with a heavy feeling of guilt that I have worked so hard to overcome.
How can I feel content? I'm destined to live this way, aren't I?
I've been happy than I've ever been in the two years since Helena died ever since I went to Italy and we had sex.
As I get closer to Gabriel's house, I sigh hard and distract myself from everything. Lisa needs some alone time. She's coming back shortly.
Gabriel and I are waiting for me in the courtyard when the gate opens. I'm here because I can't see his clinging wife standing next to him. By this time of night, Sabrina would be at home and in need of him, so I wouldn't want to invite him over.
Their lack of a maid is a result of Sabrina's dislike for them. She likes to carry out her own domestic duties. After they had been married for a few months, she hired an old maid who would typically come in every weekend to take care of things for her.
She doesn't hate them, I'm sure, only because. It is due to Gabriel's wandering, and I can already see that he is changing.
He ends the conversation as I get out of the vehicle, saying, "Hey, man." He gives me a quick side hug before releasing me when he sees how I'm feeling. "Everything all right? You came off rude previously.
I interrupted him, "Lisa is gone," as the moisture in my heart returned.
"Gone?" His look skates on confusion. Where has he gone?
I'm not sure where to begin or how to explain to him how much has changed in only two nights.
My shoulder felt his hands on it, bringing me back to life. "Let's go over there and sit down."
We go there after he gestures toward the verandah. Gabriel turned back to me once he had sat down in the wooden chair.
"What happened?" you ask.
Instead, I answer, "You won't believe it", avoiding his eyes and thinking back to what occurred in Italy two nights before.
I feel a bit happier after hearing him quietly giggle. I have never encountered somebody as understanding as Gabriel. He will understand me if no one else does, and he is always encouraging.
Why am I unable to accept it? Have you two ever had sexual contact? When he asks, I feel ashamed. I feel myself biting my lips as I lower my head. Not because Lisa and I had sex, but rather because I was strongly adhering to the idea of no conditions attached and now I have violated my own principle, which makes me feel humiliated.
I was certain that I would never find any woman attractive enough to even have sex with her. I was trying to stay away from a seductress lady who wouldn't make celibacy simple.
Maybe this wouldn't have been an issue if I had wed the lady his wife introduced to me. We could have sex for as long as we want without developing any emotional ties as it would simply be a passing relationship. She was going to be gone in a year. She didn't accept my demands since, in the end, that's what she wanted.
Sex.
But because Lisa is emotionally invested and I can't believe she truly admitted her affection to me last night, doing this with her seems terrible.
She wasn't ashamed, and I was speechless. After a little chuckle, she instructed me to hold off on speaking until I was certain.
That got me thinking, which led to my decision to stop whatever mental distress I am now inflicting on Lisa or anticipate causing her in the future.
And I.
Gabriel sputters. "Don't you dare tell me you two had sex?"
I gently glance up to see his shocked expression and wide-open mouth. I'm known to Gabriel. He is aware of the resolve I possess.
He must be wondering what transpired to cause me to down my guard. My humiliation becomes worse.
The answer is "Yes, we did."
It's "What the hell!" He yells. "What transpired? How did it take place? Is it the reason she left?
Yes, I answer coolly, folding my arms in front of me as I sigh for the zillionth time and leaning back on the wooden chair.
There is a pause, and I find myself wondering what is going through his thoughts.
She confessed her love to me last night.
"What?" He interrupted me by shouting.
"But I was unable to force myself to speak to her. We have a legal obligation to end our marriage after one year because of a contract. She stormed out of the home furious when I informed her the sex was an error.
Damien, oh my God! How could you do anything like that? He slaps my shoulder while wailing fiercely.
I turn my head to look at his expression of disdain. The question "What do you mean?"
"How could you address a lady in such a manner? And now that it is daytime? Do you know her current location? Are you certain that she's okay? His face skates with worry. "Shit!"
"I simply felt like I should stop what we're doing. Gabriel, I don't want to harm her. She isn't even aware that this is why I am acting in this way.
"Really?" He asks in a sarcastic tone. "So why are you acting in this way? Inform me.
"Are you blind to it? There are several reasons against doing this. Are these not sufficient reasons? First, she declared her affection for me when there shouldn't be any conditions, and then we engaged in sexual activity that was against the terms of the contract.
The question "How do you feel?"
"Miserable!" I respond quickly, and he shakes his head while keeping a close eye on me.
The question, "How do you feel about her?"
"What?!" I scream. He is asking me this, and I can't believe it. What do I think about her? "Nothing."
"Nothing?" I make a modest schoolboy-like nod. "So why are you worrying about why she left if you have no feelings for her?"
"That is because the contract still has months left until it expires. What should I tell Mother and the rest of the family about my wife going missing only a few months after we were married? Why doesn't she simply wait till after a year? This will sabotage my plans to divorce after a year and reclaim my freedom.
Nothing is spoken by Gabriel. Instead, he keeps giving me a hard look.
"Why did you have sexual contact with her?" Suddenly, he asks, and I find myself stuttering.
"Well…I'm not sure. Just occurred, I was inebriated.
Saying "Shut up!" He shoots to his feet and growls angrily at me. "You not only made her feel exploited and cheap, but also cheap. When you realized that this wouldn't be actual sex, how could you have it with her? You were inebriated when you had sex with her. If that's it, she may file a rape case against you.
"What?!" I scream in disbelief. What is he referring to?
"Yes. You are too wonderful for that chick, guy. It was not your place to muck this up. Why are you so fixated on the past?
I get out of the chair and say, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
It was a horrible idea to come here. I ought to have simply returned home. Gabriel is being particularly difficult to comprehend today, and I have no doubt that this is because he loves Lisa. They could want this connection between us to be genuine since Sabrina loves her too.
That can't be done.
What do you know? Up until today, I had no idea you were so self-centered. Now that she is gone, all you are concerned with is how to get her to return so that she may continue to pose as your wife in public and act normal at home because you want to accomplish a goal. Damien, how can you be so self-centered? Damien as I know him is not at all like this. You shouldn't have gotten drunk or done anything else before having sex with her. You've damaged it. Let the poor girl alone if you have no sympathy for her.
I find myself balling my fist to calm down after feeling anger hit me in the gut.
What do you know? It was a horrible idea to come here. I appreciate your time.
That was the solution. He stops talking abruptly, and I can see sorrow lighting over his face.
I ought not to have arrived here. Instead of uplifting my soul, he has further lowered it.
I must remind Lisa and myself of our purpose in being here. We both desired it, not because of anything else, therefore here we are.
Without any diversion, we need to stay focused on what we desire. If only life could be that well-organized and uncomplicated.
I pass him and make a long, deliberate step toward my vehicle, blaming myself alone for this one incident.
for misbehaving.
Everything was ruined by having sex with her, and I'm prepared to show everyone that it was all a mistake.
