CHAPTER 93

Lisa's POV

I promptly get out of bed to answer the door after being startled by my thoughts by a knock.

Grandma must be there. She can't be angry with me for very long, I know that. Since I don't know where she is living in Paris, I've been waiting for her return for days.

We sobbed. Both of us sobbed. She then departed.

It is past time for her to return so we can speak and I can explain to her why I really did what I did.

I wasn't acting in that way randomly. I had an excellent motive for doing it.

I approach the door and turn the knob, but surprise, nobody is standing in front of it. I go outside and turn to look around, but everything is still deserted.

My neighbor has already left for work. She shut her door and began to down the stairs as I overheard her murmuring a few French phrases.

She's not the right one.

Who may that be? Is Grandma here? Has she decided not to see me so that we can discuss changes?

I groan and enter the house once again after realizing Grandma must still be angry with me. I recognize it just in time to shut the door.

a piece of paper lying on the ground. Someone must have put it through the little hole from the outside, according to the situation.

This time, the paper is not little. It is lengthy and seems to be a letter to an old friend.

Damien.

Damien must be this. Since I discovered that wine on my porch, I haven't seen him. I'm not sure what this wine means, but I think it's silly of him to offer it to me when I can't even drink it.

Did he do it just so I could identify him as the source of all those odd presents and messages?

I've been peering out the window to try to get a sight of him even though I don't want to see him.

Because I can't see him, my interest is piqued. He is with Grandma, right?

I grab the paper quickly and go over to the cane chair to settle up and read.

What is going on here? Has he suddenly turned into a coward because he avoided my face?

I open the paper and collapse heavily into the chair.

I voiced my reading.

"I realize that this may not be appreciated, but it will clear the air and explain some specific things that you are unaware of," the speaker said.

"I'm sorry I injured you so badly, but before everything else, please find it in your heart to forgive me. Since you left me six months ago, life has been quite challenging. Lisa, I miss you. I long for your grin. I miss your gushing care for me. I miss your lip-biting expression and your voice.

"You won't believe it, but ever since you left, Italy has been my second home. I had been looking for you for months because I believed you were in Italy. Do you want to know my motivations? Do you want to know why I said I detested kids?

I want to put the book down at this moment. Bullshit, this is! Why is he sharing all of this with me? Do I seem foolish to him? Does he believe that his kind words will influence me once more?

I want to put down the book. I am aware of why he despises infants. He lost his kid, which is why. That's it.

This is what he wants to tell me, isn't it?

I glance down to continue reading out of curiosity.

"I didn't tell you all that took place at the lake home that evening. I merely shared with you what everyone thought. Except for Grandma, I haven't informed anybody about this. Grandma you. I didn't follow Helena that night when she stormed out of the home in rage due to my ego. After that, she was in an accident, and the baby was the first thing to pass away. Helena didn't try to call for assistance or get out of the vehicle until we arrived after realizing the baby had vanished. She was in tears. Next to her was the phone. Because the baby was missing and she decided to give up on that, she chose not to ask for assistance.

"She wanted to say something when Gabriel and I arrived, perhaps to let me know the baby was gone, but I wasn't as worried about the infant. My main worry was for her survival. She was unable to speak. As she passed away, her hands were over her stomach. I then started blaming the infant and myself. I now despise infants as a result. Although I was the idiot for doing it and the infant was innocent, I was horrified. I resisted asking for assistance. Up until you arrived, I wanted to stay that way.

"I wasn't sure how I felt when I found out you were expecting. I just know that I wasn't as depressed as I expected to be. I didn't anticipate it. I was trying to process everything since it all came as a shock. It started with the sex. It was ardent and fervent. I was thinking about it nonstop. Even at work, where I become sidetracked, you occupied my thoughts the whole day. I believed it to be detrimental. I first believed I was being disloyal to the lady I made a lifelong commitment to, but your comments kept ringing alarms in my ears.

Helena would want me to be content, says I.

"Lisa, you were correct. Gabriel had a point. But I was mistaken.

"I was mistaken all along. I was feeling uneasy. From the moment she passed away, everything about me was incorrect. It took me about a year of having you close by before I realized what a mess I had gotten myself into. I don't know what happened. I've been leading a challenging life, clinging to the rope of my past and unable to let go due to both my dedication and guilt.

I can already feel the tears starting to fall.

I'm not sure whether this is accurate. Whether Damien truly authored this is unknown to me. I have no idea why he is giving this all he has and making me weep.

Is he trying to make me feel bad? He's already carrying it out.

I regret it.

I hold the paper firmly in my hands while I look out the window rather than flipping to the next page to read the article through to the conclusion while crying.

I'm not sure what to make of this. I'm not sure why my thinking is clouded with uncertainty. I have no idea why I feel bad.

A tap on the door again causes me to jump upright. I jerk my head back, thinking about Damien and this letter again.

Is this the one? Is he returning to finally speak with me in person? Has he been waiting for me to finish reading the letter he composed to justify his conduct the whole time?

I rise from the chair while dabbing at my tears. I go briskly to the door as my energy suddenly picks up.

A lady is in front of me as I fling open the door. It takes me some time to realize that she is Grandma. She is sporting yet another pricey outfit that Damien, I'm sure, bought for her.

"Grandma!" She still has a frigid look, exactly like the other day, and I want to scream.

She commands obstinately, "Get your stuff, we are going back to America immediately.