Chapter 22 Ch 22

During my sleep, I had the most vivid dreams. They contrasted so much to the blankness of the interminable place. It almost hurt. All of the vibrant colors—eyes, a rug, the sky, a turning leaf—pierced my weary mind. The pain was doable, though, because I realized these colors and images were memories. I was remembering places and people and things.

When I woke up, I was standing on a balcony. My hands gripped the stone balustrade. A view bathed in moonlight extended beyond this rail but I couldn't be less interested in it right now. I jerked back suddenly from the rail, my hands tingling from the rough surface of the stone. My breath caught. I glanced down at my legs. They stood strong, not wobbling, and I reached down to touch my calves. The hair follicles pricked at my sensitive fingers.

A thought entered my mind. I need to shave. Then I remembered what that phrase meant—to bring a sharp blade against my skin, to file away at the exposed follicles. My skin would be smooth when it was all over.

Someone's labored breaths sounded from behind me. I jerked upright and spun around. The person wasn't in sight yet; my ears could hear their approaching steps, the minimal creak of polished wood under bare toes. Listening intently, wondering if this may be someone from my memories, I stared frozenly into the house. The two French doors hung open.

"Anna!" the runner yelled. Their voices bounced off the old walls, rattling dust from the wallpaper.

My fingers curled inward, nails biting my palms. I recognized the voice. A name was thrown into the forefront of my brain. Lee. And I recognized the word she spoke, too. It was my name.

Her footsteps rapidly closed the distance between us. She entered my line of sight, passing across the shadows of the opened doors, and then she halted. Her head snapped towards me. My heart thumped violently in my chest. I felt . . . guilt? Or was it shame? Both?

"There you are!" Lee shouted as she darted towards me.

The tightness in my chest amplified. I struggled to breathe. She was approaching me, eyes wide, and I expected punishment. What had I done wrong? I didn't know. I just knew I didn't want to be punished.

As she reached the open doors, I turned around and jumped onto the balustrade. The stone rubbed against the soft pads of my fingers. A fruity scent greeted my nostrils.

"No!"

The scream faded behind me while I launched myself from the balcony. Some shriek of noise escaped my lips. Everything felt heavy yet weightless. A tingle—sharper than the one from the stone—rushed through my body. I landed on a tuft of grass and rolled several meters. My lungs spasmed for a moment. Then I could breathe again and the guilt was momentarily forgotten.

Dragging in the cool night air, I moved to stand. My body rose on fours. I felt shorter than I just had. My gaze slid down to where my feet should have been. A set of paws greeted me instead. The little claws poked out as I leaned closer to the ground to look.

My attention was instantly reclaimed by a howl that rolled up into the night. I jumped forward and skittered at its sound. The voice was deep. My instincts told me it belonged to a big wolf. A strong wolf. A beast. I remembered a beast. My heart began to throb again, though not with guilt. This was something else.

Some strange feeling itched in my limbs. I wanted to run. Another howl sent a zing of thrill, of excited fear, through me. I bolted towards the rows of hanging fruit. Vineyard.

The dead wines reached out to stroke my fur while I swept by. My paws sunk into the damp earth with each thundering stride. Unthinking, I lifted my head and yipped happily. I continued to race through the row with everything else behind me. The wind brushed at my ears and greeted the hot breath rolling from my lips. Above me, the stars glimmered, shiny dimes lost in a pool of ink. They seemed to cheer me on.

Every ounce of encouragement from the shiny coins was sucked out of the atmosphere. This howl cut through the frigid air with intention. This was a hunting call. And it was close. I pumped my legs faster, feeling the push and pull of muscles I hadn't known I had. A growl sounded to my right. I whimpered.

Thinking I could outrun the beast I heard was stupid. To my left, the closest yet, was a snarl. I ran harder. My body was quivering. I couldn't keep up with this pace. Soon I would either have to slow or fall. But then I would be hunted. I would be prey.

The howl came from in front of me now. A kilometer away, at most. My eyes could make out the end of the row ahead. I didn't know what kind of terrain I would be entering then, outside the protective sheaths of the vines. My right hand, or front paw, began to ache. I breathed heavily with the edge of a whine riding my tongue. I didn't want to be prey but I was tired. I was scared. Now the brilliant stars seemed like scornful eyes glaring down at me.

The final brown wisps of the vines whipped out of my sight. I continued charging forward but looked around. To my right, a brawny black wolf snapped his jaws, slinging slobber in the air. His dark eyes glinted, excited to capture the prey.

My head snapped left at another snarl. This wolf was brownish-auburn, the tips of her coat red in the moon's pearly luminescence. She didn't look nearly ferocious, but her eyes were set hard against me. I could smell her and recognized the scent from before. Lee was here—as a wolf? Something in my memories confirmed this. I knew this. She was part animal.

Like you are now, I thought.

I had been so occupied with them that I hadn't noticed where I was headed. A rustling noise ahead forced me to look forward. The two wolves were guiding me at an angle across an open, unplowed field. The grass grew longer. The pointed strands stabbed against my chin as I slowed down. I was weakening. Soon I would fall and be devoured as all prey are.

By the time he rose up from the spindles of dead grass, it was too late for me. The beast's massive shoulders first came into view. Then he stood to his full height, unfurling from his crouch in the field. Those familiar inferno eyes blazed down at me. My pace faded to a limping jog. I continued towards him, knowing any diversion had no hope. The two wolves had closed in on me, nipping at my heels. At last, I reached the beast.

I lowered myself immediately at his feet. My wet nose pushed into my paws to hide my face. Every muscle ached inside me. I panted heavily into the grass. The fragrance of freshly rained soil danced in my nostrils.

A nose pushed at my head, sniffing at my ears. I whined. He pushed harder. When I lifted my face, the beast lay directly in front of me, also on his belly. He stared unflinchingly into my eyes.

"Flower," he spoke, each raspy syllable sending a jolt through my body. "Are you finished running?"

Whimpering again, I dipped my head.

He sighed. "Will you shift back for me?"

I turned my head to look around. Lee and the other wolf were gone. I didn't feel so scared anymore. Turning back to the beast, I nodded with a steadying breath. As I stood up, he sat up onto his haunches. He was so big. Muscles bulged from every exposed surface of his shape.

"Please, Flower," he said.

He wanted me to be a human again. I didn't know how to make that happen, but my body did. It hummed and shivered. I could feel my grip on my form slipping. The physicality of me was taking over. I felt the pulsing shudder and then found myself laying on the soft grass. Every blade poked at my skin. When I glanced down, I saw the pale stretch of my human flesh, my vulnerability. The passing wind stirred goosebumps all along my arms and down to my feet.

The beast slipped his arms under my knees and shoulders and lifted me off the ground. His fur was soft and warm. I remembered waking up from the interminable place, being comforted by this hulking animal.

He moved leisurely back to the enormous mansion. I watched the endless rows of vines give way to the stone edifice and the way it blended in with its dark surroundings warmed me. Soon we were inside and torches lit our path to a bedroom. The beast carried me to the adjoining bathroom where steam rose from a brimming ceramic tub. He placed me on my tender feet.

"Can you step inside?" he asked. "You need to bathe."

I drew a hand along the surface and, though it burned, I didn't pull out. The heat felt gratifying. It soothes the aches and pains I felt elsewhere in my body. I climbed into the tub and slumped into the water. The beast curled up on the floor beside me and sighed again. My gaze wandered around the yellow tiles of the bathroom and the sink with an oval mirror before settling on the ball of ebony fur. His glowing cerulean eyes were trained on me.

"Basileus."

His ears pricked forward. I smiled. The name felt so familiar on my tongue. Like I had been longing to say it but couldn't quite recall how.

"Were we in love?" I heard myself ask. I didn't know where the question came from.

He lifted his square head, eyes riddling me with curiosity and fear. "I love you, Flower," he said slowly, each word carefully measured. "And you were just beginning to love me."

"What happened?"

His eyes flitted away to the window. He stared at the wavy glass for a while before he spoke again. "Someone tried to take you from me. I could never let that happen. So"—he paused to look back at me—"I had to take something from him. And now, that something lives in you. It's what is keeping you here with me."

"What is it?"

"The soul of a wolf, my Flower." He sat up and breathed deeply at the thick, humid air. "Finish your bath now. There is much more we need to discuss. Especially now that you can remember."

I detected an irregular note in his voice. He sounded cold. I didn't like that, but I didn't know what to do about it. So I scrubbed the mud and grass off my skin and rubbed soap into my hair. The inky strands were long and tangly. Then, draining the tub, I climbed back out.

Basileus looked away but held out a towel. I wrapped it around my chest. He nodded towards the bedroom. A familiar heat pooled in my lower stomach, in my pelvis. There was a desire inside me. I knew I had dealt with it before—but how? I couldn't remember. All I knew was that I wanted Basileus to do something about it.

He growled at me, so I squealed and ran into the bedroom. Later, I thought. He can fix me later.