Chapter 19 Ch 19

After having hood-sex on his car, Tandan drove me back to my apartment. I was feeling content, more at peace with myself, but I was hungry. Exerting my body with sex only added to the fact that I never had dinner. By the time we were parking outside my apartment complex, I was jamming my hand into my stomach. I didn't want it to growl and key Tandan in on my struggle. I didn't want him to know I was hungry, because then he might try to stick around to feed me.

And that was not going to happen.

Even if we'd had sex twice now, I still couldn't help but feel self-conscious. I was chubby. There was no way around that little fact, and Tandan was distracted by many things during sex. Just because we plugged and chugged didn't mean he thought I was beautiful. It wasn't like he'd ever told me as much. Anyway, I didn't trust him enough to see me eat and not judge me.

Tandan cut the ignition and turned to face me with a smile. "Want me to walk you to the door?"

"Um, it's okay," I said. It wasn't like this had been a real date anyway. My lips pushed up as I tried to mask my thoughts. "I think I can make it up the stairs on my own."

Nodding, his own smile slipped from his face. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and reached for the door handle. My breath caught when Tandan's muscled arm darted around me to close the door back. I stared at his hand for a moment until it pulled back to his body. Then I looked back at his face. There was some unreadable emotion in his dark eyes and bent eyebrows.

"It's complicated, I know," he murmured. "I don't want this to just be about sex."

My mouth twitched as I stared up at him. It wasn't like I'd ever had sex with anyone else, so I wasn't even sure how this relationship was supposed to work. Could we actually be functional in a normal relationship? I certainly had my doubts.

"Then what are we?" I asked hesitantly.

"We're . . ." Sighing, he scratched the back of his head. "We're mates, dammit. That's what we are."

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. Tandan tried to stop me again but I moved too quickly. His hand succeeded in grabbing my blouse, however. A surprised snarl tore out of me as I tumbled back into the seat. The animalistic noise frightened me at first. I hadn't snarled in years.

Once my composure was regained, I gave him a flat look. "We might be mates but that doesn't say a damn about our relationship. Clearly, you don't know what you want."

When I tried to leave again, he firmly held my blouse down until it ripped.

"Stop it," he ordered. "Lee, just stop! Stop struggling!"

The strangest thing happened next; I lost utter control of myself. I bellied a growl so loud and ferocious that it rattled the car. Tandan, in his stunned state, forgot to maintain his grip. Inhuman speed raced through my blood as I shot out of the car and bolted towards my building. But I didn't go to the apartment.

Instead, I lunged forward with my arms and felt my body become devoured with fur. My bones snapped, shifted, reconfigured into a new creature before my paws struck the asphalt. I inhaled deeply and the air filled my massive lungs. The night breeze picked at my thick coat and whistled through my bared teeth. I felt fresh now that my annoying human body had been shed. I felt powerful. My last transition had been ages ago when I was just barely a teen. Had it felt as amazing as it did now?

"Rylee?"

Down on all four legs in my canine chassis, I turned to face my mate. My heart thundered at the concern in his face. I was suddenly overcome with emotion. Intense passion, reluctance, confusion, and then anger. Each emotion had an even stronger effect in this body, like I somehow perceived them more acutely as a wolf.

I had been angry. Furious, even. Why? I had to think to remember, but it came back to me. My mate couldn't tell me what we were, couldn't tell me what I meant to him. I had given him my body, but he still refused to give me what I craved. It was utterly maddening. This feeling wiggled down deep inside of every nook and cranny of my giant body of muscle and fur, burrowed down so deep that it birthed restlessness.

A howl started in the back of my throat and finished as I tilted my head back. I was darting towards the nearest forest without thinking. Even though I could hear my mate calling after me, I didn't slow. I would deal with him later. Right now I only needed freedom.

I loped through the back-streets and leapt over fences until my paws melted into forest grass. Feeling brave, I howled again. I was free. Body, mind, and soul. Free. It was such a giddy feeling. I would have been giggling like a girl if I was a human.

The feeling was cut short at the return howl that sliced through the forest. My head snapped in the direction of the call. Could it have been Tandan? I wasn't ready for him to spoil my fun when it had only just begun. Whirling around, I sprinted away from the howl. My sensitive ears picked up on the croak of frogs and insects, the hastened pulse of a hiding rabbit, and the twitter of leaves overhead. I strained to hear pursuing footfalls, but I couldn't.

In spite of lacking evidence, something was wrong. I knew I was being followed. My instincts supported me where my senses failed to. I pushed myself to move faster, but I was not in great shape. Even if I was a wolf. My breaths began coming in pants and my legs were shaking from fatigue. I couldn't have run more than two or three miles. Though it was far farther than my human body could ever sprint, a wolf should have been capable of much more.

I was weak.

This quickly became more apparent to me. As my pace slowed, against all fear and determination, another howl was sent up to the peeking moon. I looked behind me in panic. What the hell was chasing me? I no longer believed it was Tandan. The howl wasn't a beckoning call or warm greeting. It was a warning. A very clear warning.

My heartbeat pounded against my ribs, filling my entire body with its tremendous cadence. The wind carried a scent to me that only served to further put me on edge. It was animal, perhaps even canine, but I couldn't really tell. I lowered my front legs into a pounce position to keep myself from quaking in fear. If I wasn't strong enough to run away, I had no choice but to face this—whatever this was.

The trees rustled, but not from the wind. I concentrated my ears on them, training my sharp eyes on the darkness. My canine eyes could make out the brush and branches even in the dark. Then it appeared, right in front of me, right in the trees. Silent as a phantom.

I was eye-level with the beast's brawny thighs. They were covered in thick, dark hair. Almost thick enough to be fur, but not quite. My gaze traveled further up to an abdomen and chest rippling with muscle and more hair. Attached to the strapping torso were two enormous arms that bled into hand-like claws. Alas, I noticed its face. Glowing cobalt eyes, a long snout, and fangs dripping with saliva. Its pointed ears looked like mine, erect and refined.

What the hell are you? I thought to myself right before it roared and swung a clawed fist towards my head.