63

KATHERINE

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me out of Alex's apartment and sped into my car. I turned on the ignition and drove off quickly. From my rear mirror, I could see Alexander running after me and calling my name, but I didn't want to stop.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I was crying and my makeup was starting to become a mess. But I couldn't hold back the tears, I had to let them flow freely.

Why did Alexander ask me to be his girlfriend?

I wasn't ready for such a confession and neither do I think I'm ready to become his girlfriend yet. I had not expected that he would confess his feelings to me.

But that didn't change the fact that I was madly in love with him, I loved him dearly. But I was still not ready to be his girlfriend, not yet. In fact, I would've rejected him right there on the spot, but my heart wouldn't have been able to stomach the reaction on his face.

So that was why I ran away. And now, I was on my way to Katie's house because there was a lot I needed to tell her. She was the only one who could help me navigate the sea of my feelings. And I've been lying to her for way too long.

It was time that I told her the truth.

-:-

In twenty minutes, I was already pulling over in Katie's yard. I got out of my car quickly and shut the door, heading over to her door and knocked.

I hoped it would be her that would answer, and not her mum or her dad, because I didn't have it in me to explain to anyone why I was a crying mess. I also hoped that neither of them were at home as well. I wanted to be able to cry as much as I wanted without knowing that someone else was listening in.

My gaze shifted to the shiny doorbell next to the door—they had just gotten it fixed and I had not noticed earlier, so I rung it instead.

"I'M COMING!" Katie yelled. And within seconds, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door and then, the knob twisted and it opened.

"Oh my goodness, Katherine!" Katie exclaimed as she saw me and then, she immediately pulled me into a hug. "What happened? You look a mess," she added, and I couldn't help but resume my crying against her.

"Kat!" Katie disengaged from the hug and put both her hands on my shoulder, staring me deep in the eye. I saw that the print of my steaming mascara smudged against her pink shirt. "What happened? Tell me please."

"Can I come in?" I asked, sniffling as I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

"Oh, shoot! Silly me, I forgot." She stated and she stepped aside, opening the door wider for me to get inside.

I entered first and she followed behind me, and by instinct, I was already making my way to her room. That was where we hung out all the time. When we got upstairs, she opened the door and we both entered.

I immediately fell face-down on her bed, my body heaving with sobs as if every tear held a piece of my shattered heart.

My mascara stained her pillow, and my hair was a tangled mess, but I didn't care. My world had crumbled in a matter of moments, and there was no holding back the flood of tears.

"Kat, oh my god, what happened?" Katie asked.

I managed to lift my head from the pillow, my voice choked with anguish. "I fucked up, Katie. Big time."

Katie sat down beside me, her hand resting gently on my back. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You can tell me."

My throat felt constricted, and the words I wanted to say stuck in my mouth.

Shame and regret gnawed at me, and I could barely bring myself to admit my mistakes. "I... I don't even know where to start. I'm so ashamed, Katie."

Katie's grip on my back tightened, offering comfort. "You don't have to be ashamed, Kat. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together."

Now sitting cross-legged on her bed, I took a deep breath and stared at my fidgeting hands. "Katie, there's something I need to tell you."

Katie turned her attention fully to me, her eyes wide with curiosity. "Okay, spill it, Kat. What's been going on?"

I bit my lip, nerves making my heart race. "You remember when we made that plan to date Alexander for revenge?"

Katie nodded slowly, a puzzled expression crossing her face. "Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

I took another deep breath, gathering the courage to say what I needed to. "I... I didn't intend for this to happen, Katie. I didn't plan on it. But I fell in love with him."

She blinked, her expression shifting from confusion to shock. "Wait, what? You fell in love with Alexander?"

I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah. At first, I was just going along with the plan, you know? I wanted to get back at him for what he did to you and other girls. I thought I could play him like he played others. But... somewhere along the way, things changed."

Katie's eyes searched mine, trying to make sense of what I was saying. "You mean, you actually have feelings for him?"

I nodded again, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and relief wash over me. "Yes, Katie. I fell for him. I didn't plan on it, but it happened. And now, I can't continue with the game we agreed on. I can't hurt him like that."

Her shock was slowly turning into understanding, and she reached out to hold my hand. "Wow, Kat. I didn't see that coming."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I blinked them away. "I know, Katie. I'm so sorry for not telling you sooner. But I needed to figure out my own feelings first."

"I know I messed up big time, and I'm so sorry. But I can't keep pretending, I can't keep playing this game when I'm in love with him."

Katie's expression softened, and she reached out to wipe away a tear that had escaped my eye. "Kat, I understand. I can see how much you care about him."

Tears welled up again as I nodded, feeling a mix of relief and guilt. "I just... I need you to forgive me, Katie. I need your support, even if it means breaking our promise."

Katie gave me a small smile, her hand still on my cheek. "You don't need to beg for my forgiveness, Kat. You're my best friend, and I'll always be here for you. And if this is what you truly want, then I'll support you."

I let out a shaky breath, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "Thank you, Katie. You have no idea how much this means to me."

She pulled me into another hug, and I held onto her tightly, feeling a sense of gratitude and relief wash over me. "We'll figure this out together, Kat. And no matter what happens, I've got your back."