SEVENTY-ONE

Kamilla Lopez

Today, my day was long in the organization, analyzing deliveries and shipments of drugs to other mafia points. I see Viktor walk to the elevator, with him, he takes another worm that tries to rob us, this time I'll let him enjoy my fun. Viktor is upset about releasing my wife's friend, however he knew that at some point this would happen.

I needed the final letter for Kamilla to accept me at once. Yes, all my attitudes are being sincere. I don't accept knowing that I'm surrendered by her, however, if I don't accept it, I'll lose her and that's not what I want.

Hours ago….

I'm in the training room, I'm hitting the punching bag with all my might, a few meters away Viktor is working out.

— You free my toy, no man does that! He snapped, stopping his workout.

— Bianca was not your toy, I was the one who kidnapped her. I said, still hitting the punching bag. — And if I remember correctly, you didn't want to take care of her.

— But that passed, now I want her.

— It's no use getting into a tantrum, I already let her go.

'And all this because of Kamilla?' he asked, looking incredulous.

— Yes, if those attitudes surprise you, then yes, it was for her.

— You know that even after that, she might not accept you, don't you?

— I know. I stopped throwing punches at the punching bag. — Maybe she won't accept being my wife, but what can I do? It is no use forcing what is not spontaneous.

Viktor looked at me completely perplexed, he realized that what I feel for her was serious.

— Who are you, and what have you done with Nick?

— Stop the drama, just — he cut me off.

— The real Nick Ross would never accept that a woman chooses to be by his side or not. You are the king of the underworld, have you forgotten?

— With that title I can get anything but her.— I can't be selfish with her, in this situation, only she decides.

Viktor seemed to understand, but he was still questioning.

— Has she accepted your marriage proposal yet?

— No, I didn't hear anything out of your mouth, twice!— I replied, bitch.

— You're the one who decided to go through this. Viktor said, I smiled at him.

— You'll know what goes through my head when you fall in love with someone.

— Fall in love? I? For God! I'm a womanizer, I like to have them all in my bed.

— When was the last time you went to the brothel?— I asked, leaving the mat, Viktor lost his voice.

— Night ago.

— And when was the last time, before nights ago?

— Where do you want to get?

— Since you took care of Bianca, you haven't visited your slaughterhouse.

— Because I was busy! — He tried to defend himself.

— He was attracted by her resistance, when he managed to have her after he ran away, he realized how interesting she was.

— Have you been watching me?— He narrowed his eyes.

— Don't be pathetic. This is just the beginning of the obsession, the downfall that they are. Kamilla made me lose interest from all other women, she got me addicted to her, I'm …. — Viktor didn't let me finish, he added:

— He's surrendered to her.

— Exactly.

— I know what I'll do!

— What? Go after Bianca?

— What? No! I'll go back to the brothel.

— Do you think that will solve anything? — Once you get addicted, it's gone.

— For God. You've got me depressed with her drivel! — without saying anything else, he quickly left the training room, smiling at his despair, deep down he likes her.

Now….

I'm back at home, I go to the bedroom and take a shower, after I'm done, I put on some sweatpants, I go to the office. As early as morning, Kamilla and my children left the house and went for a walk together with my father— in— law, Kamilla's father. I was reluctant with her — communication— I realized that she is testing me, trying to believe in my change, it was challenging to let her out.

At 4 pm they returned, Erick came to me and asked me to give him a bath, so I did, I accompanied him to the bathroom and threw Shampoo on his head and body, he did the rest. Afterward, he chose a movie for us to watch, we ordered pizza and stayed for hours in the cinema room. At night, at bedtime, I took him to his room, waited for him to brush his teeth and put him to bed.

— Daddy. — he called me, I looked at him.

— Yes?

— Mom cried for Grandpa today. — like a curious person, I approached the boy.

— Do you know why she cried?

— I didn't hear much, but she was crying because of you.

The boy's words made me feel strange, a feeling of helplessness grew inside me. I just turned off the light and let him sleep. I walked the halls thoughtfully, I made her cry several times, I made her witness things she didn't deserve. Kamilla doesn't deserve a man like me, I don't deserve her.

(…)

I spent the day with my father, we went to his property that he had just bought. Since it was Sunday, Erick didn't have to worry about school, so we left early in the day and didn't come back. Erick was playing in the huge pool, along with a boy, the son of a daddy employee. Paola was in my arms, sleeping peacefully after breastfeeding.

— How's Nick doing?— Dad asked, suitably curious. — Did you accept the marriage proposal?

— The times he asked me, he was interrupted.

— I don't think it's bad, he deserves a little distress. — He laughed, I just smiled without humor. — You will accept?

— I still don't know, I'm afraid that he will go back to the way he was before.

— I doubt it, I think he got the message.

— What message?— I asked, narrowing my eyes.

— Um…never mind which one, but I doubt he'll ever go back to being the pathetic possessive.

Hearing my father's words comforts me somewhat, but with the drop in hormones after pregnancy, I find myself sensitive. I rock the little one in my arms, I look at her, my eyes brimming with tears.

— I hate loving you. He said, sniffing his nose. — Nick has me confused.

— Mommy! — Erick approaches me, I quickly try to wipe my eyes, nothing helped, he witnessed my moment of hysteria.

At the end of the day we returned home, after a long conversation with my father, I knew what I would say to Nick. I was willing to accept the marriage proposal, if you truly showed me that you are changed, not with words, but with sincere attitudes. I know that lately he has been having good attitudes, however, it seems to me to be attitudes so that I can see that he is changing and accept to marry him. And that's what I'm afraid of.

I haven't seen him since today, when I arrived, Erick went after him, I didn't expect to see him, I went straight to Paola's room, I put her in her crib, and then I went to my room. At night, after dinner, I went back to Paola's room, she had woken up. I gave her a bath and put on her diaper, then I put a beautiful set of turquoise blue sweater on her little body, it was beautiful.

— My little princess. — I approached her little face and placed a kiss on her forehead, walked to the armchair, in order to start her breastfeeding.

At that moment, the door to his room opened, and I turned to see Nick walking in. Still standing, I put my chest to Paola and waited for him to approach. Nick had a serious look on his face, he seemed to be angry about something. He approached me, standing in front, asked:

— How was your day? — still surprising me with his questions, I replied:

— Was good and yours?

— Also!

— Hmm! Interesting…. — I said, snuggling Paola even more in my lap.

— I heard your father bought a house in Costa Rica.

— Yes, he said he wanted a place to stay when he visited Costa Rica.

'Will he go back to Italy?'

— I don't know, but I think he intends to, since he's got his mob business over there.

— Hmm!

— How do you know he bought a house?

— The soldiers, I know everything, little doll.

— But, you said that — he cut me off.

— I told you that I would be free to leave, however, I would be watched by my security.

I pulled away from him, I said, a little annoyed.

— It's not freedom when everything I do is directed at you.

— My green eyes, understand that you are with a very well— known man.

— Of course, the fearsome mobster….

— No, with Nick Ross, remember that before I was king of the underworld, I was known as the millionaire and businessman Nick Ross! He raised his voice, startling me.

Nick runs a hand over his face restlessly, I suspect his nervous movements. He looked at me, seeing tenderness and pain at the same time. Then, he approached me again, enough to put his hand on my face and slide it gently.

— You'll never accept who I really am. No matter how hard I try to be good to you, it will never erase or redeem what I put you through, the tears I made you cry.

It was a jolt to hear those words, my body tensed, no he wouldn't dare…

— What do you mean?

— You don't deserve someone like me, a damned soul who's killed more than I can remember. You deserve to have someone who loves you intensely, who takes you to heaven without taking you off the ground, who shows you how valuable you are, who has a healthy feeling for you.

As he softens my skin, I see tears well up in his eyes.

— Nick, no…

— I release you, my angel.