47. Lost D

D's PoV

After a long walk on a hot sunny afternoon on the roads, I felt so tired and thirsty. I was crying all the way and people were looking at me weirdly. I checked the time on my phone. It was 2pm. OMG! I have been walking for 2.30hours. God where am I now? How long have I come from the office!?!?

I checked the maps on the phone to Firm Fort and my location. It said I'm 12kms away. Wow, I have walked 12kms. Mmmm so I would have burnt around 800 to 1000 calories. Yay it’s a record.

I'm hungry. What is this place? Looks like I have come to a residential area. I again googled a nearby restaurant. I have to go another 3kms for that. I searched for an auto or taxi. Nothing came by. I started walking again. Huh, It's hard.

Hahaha! You are a stupid D. You look like a red-monkey(sengorangu). No one will walk like you this time. You need water now or you are going to faint out of dehydration.

Shut-up Mindy. Motivate me. We can walk another 3kms.

Idiot! What the hell are you doing? Call someone from your phone and tell them where you are. Ask them to pick you up. Now find a shade and rest. You will die D.

I'm sad alright? I need to be alone.

This is why I asked you to not read so many novels, where all the heroines are mental cases.

Shut-up, Mindy. I'm not calling anyone.

Go to hell ,D! Are you even angry at your husband?

I am! How dare he call me characterless? I'm done with him.

Haha is it? But why do you keep on thinking about him? You paint me with him all over. You are thinking about that hot make out session you had with your husband. Do all wives think like this when they are angry with their hubby?

Pch! I love him, Mindy. He is an idiot. No, I am an idiot. I knew he was in love with Smirthi! But then I expected him to love me.

Oh, is it? You are right. He WAS in love with her. But he loves you now dumby. That is why he came to see you. He didn’t know who Gowtham was. So, he got angry. He is ofcourse wrong to talk like that. But you gave him such opportunities. What would you think if you saw him hugging Smirthi?

Stop now Mindy! you always talk like he is right. But he is so wrong. He always thinks bad of me. He knew about Hari, but he never knew me. He mistook Praveen and me. He said I enjoy Rohit's flirts. I never doubted him even when he went out at night to see her. I'm a good girl. Not some doubty.

Oh really? You are not a good girl. He was about to explain something to you despite seeing you with Gowtham. You started talking in a fit of rage and he did the same. You said Smirthi was pregnant with Rishi's baby. He just blamed you for flirting. Yeah, you are not a good girl.

Pch, I was angry. I am a human being too. I am not some saint. I still don’t know why they went to hospital. Why else would he tag her along?

See, even now you have no faith in your hubby. But you say you love him. But we don’t know if he loves you yet. He doesn’t know you yet. Why can't he doubt you?

So, you say he is not wrong?

He is possessive. That's a sign of love, dumbhead.

Assumptions, assumptions and assumptions. All my life is built on assumptions. I don't really know why I keep thinking of him.

You are impossible. You know why you keep thinking of him. You love him. Ok, What If Rishi has approached a detective to know about you? Then he might have known about your college days. Will a third person think you are innocent if he gets to know what all you and your friends have done?

OMG, You think Rishi would have researched my college days? You are always frightening me. So that is how he got to know about Hari? But still I never said I love you to anyone.

Hmmm How else do you think he knows about Hari? who knows from whom the detective got his information. If he got it from people who like and love you, then he must have got all the good info. But your time is not good now D. So I think he must have got his info from your enemies!

Run before I kill you stupid! I proposed to him, Mindy. And also said I hate him. How will I go to him again now? My gethu Image will get damaged.

You know you cannot live without him. He spoke out of anger. You knew he didn’t mean anything he said. You always win his lust. He always seeks you even after he shouts at you. He has gone weak on you. You also know he has a split personality. At Least you could have restrained yourself from talking like him. Now you cannot feel bad about your image.

Pch! Did I really say I Love You to him?

Yup, You did! I'm so proud of you!

God! What if he still goes behind that Smirthi? She too loves him, you know.

You don’t have to worry about her, Mother Teresa. Worry on your own life. She has something to hold onto him. He loves you. Break that compulsion and he is all yours.

Hmmm you are right. What about that decision I took?

Which one?

About going away after this 5 months?

OMG D! Were you serious? I thought you thought about it for fun.

Pch, you are annoying.

You are stupid! Talk and think about what will happen. Don’t be hypothetical. It's a waste of time.

I'm getting calls from Dakshu, Aakash anna and Karthik. Even Gowtham called me. But this stupid hubby has no concern. Shithead, I switched Off my phone.

Rishi's PoV

Where has she gone? I'm all scared. I spoke very badly to her. I knew she was a baby. She is so pure. But I couldn't hold my anger when I saw her with another man. I felt like a shit when she said Gowtham is like her brother. But I tried hard to keep my cool. I only spoke back when she spoke shit. But that doesn't justify my awful talk to her.

I spoke so rudely with Aakash. I know he is all tensed for his sister. I know it's all my fault. But my ego doesn't want to accept it. I can find her myself. I love her. She loves me. We have some misunderstandings. We can sort it out. It's our personal.

I'm now driving through all the roads around Karthik's office. She is nowhere to be found. I can't rest until I see her. I miss her. I just want to hug her. I want her in my arms. She is all mine. All my doubts vanished when she said that she loves me. I was so unsure whenever I happened to know about a man in her past. I am so deeply in love with her. But I cannot expect her to love me right!? She may have had someone special before me. That is not wrong. After all, our marriage happened in an unrealistic circumstance. I didn’t want to show her my feelings when I'm not sure of her feelings. It would have been like a compulsion to her. I didn’t want that for her. She is a beautiful girl. She should live happily. Not out of compulsion. But even then, I couldn't stop touching her. She is like a drug to me.

But now I know she loves me. She cannot go anywhere. I'm going to cage her in my heart. She will stay there for eternity. I should find her and accept my feelings for her. She must be angry. I should compromise her. I should apologize to her.

I circled almost 10kms around Karthik's office. I drove 3 times. I couldn't see her anywhere. I'm getting all bad images in my mind. Where the hell is she? I'm now worried and scared. I pulled over the car and called Arjun. He is a cop.

"Arjun! How are you da?"

"Good, da! What’s up? Karthik called me in the morning. Now you? What's going on da? Is everything alright?"

"He called you!? I don’t know about that. But I need your help!"

"Tell me da!"

I told him about our disagreement. Not fully though. I said she's gone missing. I also said I checked for around 10kms. I wanted him to do it unofficially. I don’t want anyone in our families to know about it. I saw Aakash's reaction. Everyone else's would be even worse. "Ok da! Don’t worry! I will see to it immediately. You go home. She may have come there."

"Ok da! Do something soon." I disconnected the call. I called her number again. But it said it's switched off.

I remember a day, when I came back from the office early, I heard a peppy song upstairs. When I went to our room, she was dancing with Roshan on the bed wearing my shorts and belt. My shorts were like 3/4th pants to her. The look on her face when she saw me. I have seen it before. When Roshan compelled her to continue dancing, she was all shy and red. But she still danced looking only at him. I feel like these have happened before. Maybe in my dreams.

A small smile crept on my face. Just thinking about her gives me immense pleasure. I need her. She should be safe. I drove back to our home.