Dismay
93. Dismay
🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍
By an hour, the house is so crowded there is barely any space to set a foot. Turns out like David didn’t do his job well. I see West dragging some people out of the house, causing trouble.
I glance towards Jacob and see him helping in kitchen to keep things in order.
“Let’s take one more…” Riley says, showing me her empty cup. Her speech is slurred. That’s odd for a second drink!
“How many did you have before I came? “
“I don’t know. One or two may be… “she giggles.
“I don’t want you to puke, Riley… I am not cleaning that up.”
She giggles again.
“Can’t you do that for me?”
“No. Ask your boyfriend to do that. Anyway, you wait here... I will bring some water for you. No more drinks…” I tell her sharply and get up.
Before I move away, she grabs my arm.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yes..”
“Would it be bad if I wanted to break up with him?”
“What! But why?”
Is she still facing problems with him?
"I am such a terrible person for thinking like this on his birthday… " She mumbles to herself.
I sit back next to her and ask again,"Why, Riley? "
“Something is missing between us. Sometimes… He is so nice Nat… as If I am the only person that matters to him. And sometimes… he is just.. someone different..”
I am glad the room is dark and she is too drunk. Because tears fill my eyes. I felt the same problems with him and It was too damaging for me. I am not sure anymore, if it was love or pity that I cared so much and didn’t want to leave him.
“Did something happen? Or is it just a feeling?”
She sighs. “Things happen here and there… but last week… I met one of his friends. I am not even sure he was his friend or what-”
“Riley, are you ok?” West’s voice comes from behind and Riley goes quiet.
“West!” She opens her arms to hug him while sitting.
I get up and say, “She is too drunk. I will grab some water for her. Can you hold her so she doesn’t fall off the chair?”
He nods and sits next to her. Riley leans into him with her face on his chest.
I walk towards the kitchen and see Jacob.
“Are you having fun? I tease him while grabbing a water bottle.
He rolls his eyes. “Yeah. It’s fun being in charge of the kitchen.”
“I thought you were with others. Where are they?”
I look around and see the rest of the team standing in a corner laughing their ass off.
Jacob winces. “They were tormenting me. I thought it would be better if I took a quick break from them.”
I frown. “What do you mean? Do they tease you or something?”
Jacob scratches his neck,”Well, they know you are my first girlfriend in like forever so… “
I gasp in horror.
“What the fuck Jacob! Don’t you dare tell them details about-“
Our sex life!
God, this is so embarrassing. I can’t even complete the sentence.
“Jesus! Have faith in me! I don’t even like to flaunt these things.” He says and pulls me towards a corner where others cannot see us.
“Don’t even think about it.” I warn him.
“What?” he asks me innocently while slipping his arms around my waist pulling me closer.
"This Goddamn dress is doing things to Natalie."
He presses my back against the wall while leaning into my body. I feel his cock getting harder by every second passing. He cups and squeezes my boob it in a painful grip and says, "Tonight! I can't wait any longer!"
A shiver runs down my thighs at mere thought. I wish he could slide something inside me right now. His tongue, his fingers, or his cock. Anything to soothe me.
His phone rings in the middle. He frowns, looking at the screen, and picks it up.
“June!”
"What? June wait! It's too loud here… "
Unable to make out the voice in music, he goes out of the house to listen to the call. I take a few breaths, as my boyfriend, apparently, left me in the middle. I groan and walk towards the living room with a water bottle. But West and Riley are not sitting there anymore. I look around and notice West carrying her upstairs. She has passed out. I don’t want to go to his room. But I don’t think he will come downstairs just to grab water for her, As it's not safe to leave her alone if she is not in her senses. So I reluctantly follow him.
…
“Clear the room guys!” He says to a couple making out in his room.
The girl giggles. “Would there be a threesome? We would love to join you guys! Make it an orgy may be.” She says, leering at Riley.
I roll my eyes hard enough to see the back of my head.
“Seriously! She is drunk! You are practically suggesting a felony.” I tell her sternly.
“Jeez, I was just joking.”
‘Learn to make better jokes.’
Words are almost on my lips to spill, but I shut my mouth.
Don’t be a bitch. I tell myself. Ever since Jacob pointed it out, I have been trying to be polite, if possible.
The couple leaves, closing the door behind them.
“That was odd.” West says while laying Riley in bed.
“What?”
“I was hoping you would cut her throat or something. Or maybe throw a few mean words. To permanently damage her self-worth.”
My face goes hot.
Fuck! Does it mean I was always a bitch and Jacob was the first one to point it out?
I clear my throat and say calmly, “I have been told I should try to be polite.”
“That won’t take you far, Nat!” he says.
I don’t need to take suggestions from you. I think to myself.
“Don’t tell me your perfect boyfriend suggested that!” He says when I do not respond.
Is he?
Oh, my fucking God!
West is jealous.
I don’t respond to his jibe and say, “We should offer her some water… if she can drink.”
West holds hers up and murmurs in a soft voice to her, “Sweetie.. Have some water.”
He kisses his temple, then says, “Come on… drink this.”
Then he carefully pours water into her mouth.
My heart bursts from affection he just showed to her. I cannot help but compare. West was never affectionate with me. There were some moments, but it was rare.
Why does she want to break up with him?
What was Riley trying to tell me?
I wonder if I should ask him. There are other things I want to know too. For example, that drug thing at school. The Counselor had a slip of tongue that it had dropped from West’s bag when he was there for his appointment.
Is he really dealing in drugs now?
Doesn't he want a normal chance at life anymore?
“How much did she drink?” he asks me.
“Two drinks.”
He chuckles and says, “I am sure she drank more than that!”
“Maybe… Anyway, I should leave… Jacob must be waiting.”
“I thought you agreed to talk to me tonight…” He lays Riley again and gets out of bed.
“What do you want to talk about?”
He sighs and looks away from me. Then he asks me in a strange tone, “I texted saying I have something important to talk about... But you avoided me at school, anyway. Why?”
“You don’t get to question me, West. I avoided you because I think you were bluffing.”
He scoffs. “I wish I was… Just watch your back! And If I warn you in text or in call… Take it seriously. Please…”
I frown. “What do you mean, watch my back? From whom?”
“Just be safe in general, ok,” He says annoyingly. “It’s nothing too serious, until or unless I warn you.”
I get agitated at his statement.
“Are you trying to spook me for no reason? I am sick of your manipulative ways, West! Stop it!” I yell at him loud enough to make sure he hears me well over the Goddamn music surrounding us.
He stalks closer to me. It takes all my effort not to step back.
“What the fuck do you mean by manipulative ways?”
I snort. “Are you asking me? I am sure you know what I am talking about... I had a fight with Jacob and you tried to mess with his head, saying we have patched up and we have been in touch!“
“Not my mistake. He is ignorant! Easy to fool.“ He snarls at me.
It takes all my self-control not to slap him.
I turn to leave the room. He grabs and shuts the door before I can walk out.
“I am not done talking to you.”
“But I am done!”
He doesn’t say anything and keeps the door shut while hovering over me. It’s intimidating to be this near him, so I get back and walk toward the window.
“Talk!” I demand.
He sighs and rubs his face. “Fuck! this is all wrong… This isn’t how I planned to talk to you Nat.”
“My name is Natalie. Stop using that endearment, West. It taunts me.”
He looks at me with a hurt expression.
“I am sorry for whatever I did.” He says.
What the Fuck! This is not normal.
“What do you want, West? Why are you being so fucking polite?”
He pinches his brows in frustration then chuckles bitterly. “Well, it looks like you are not in the mood to talk... So I will come to the point. I think I want to fuck you! I want to get you out of my system. So you will stop distracting me with your fucking perfect life. Would you let me do that, Natalie?”
My face goes hot with shame. He still thinks I am an easy fuck.
He doesn’t stop there and adds, “I heard the rumors. You opened your legs for so many guys, one more wouldn’t make any difference.. Right?”
My first instinct is to run away. But this time I hold my ground. It’s hard, but I don’t take his bait and lash out. My heart pounds but I keep my voice calm and say, “I am curious how you will feel if I tell Riley about this?”
I always regretted not telling her the truth in time. I was so blinded by strange and twisted love that I wanted someone to be around West to love him and take care of him. If not me, then her. And look at that very boy standing in front of me, asking if he could fuck me again to get me out of his system. Even when he has a perfect girlfriend.
The official girlfriend.
I am suddenly amused.
“It’s your habit to cheat on your girlfriends. Isn’t it? And how exactly do you want to fuck me, West? In the same room while your girlfriend is passed out drunk? Or should I lay next to her in the same bed?”
He grits his teeth. “We were NEVER exclusive!”
“But you made me feel like it!” I cry. This is still a sore topic for me.
“and Riley! She is exclusive. Or is she also an easy fuck too? Well, considering her history, she must be your perfect little whore.”
It dawns on me. Riley was miserable after her last breakup. Vulnerable. Just like I was, when Jake ghosted me.
His jaw clenches. He stalks one more step closer and grabs my arm in a painfully tight hold.
“Don’t! say a word about her.”
“or what will you do, West? Hit me?” I ask with my chin up in defiance.
I guess that’s all that is left for me to see. Maybe if he hits me now, I will finally stop feeling these pathetic twisted care, concerns and fucking love, I still have for him.
His grip on my arm is growing tight, and it hurts. But I don't react to it. He takes one last step to pin me against the wall. When he brings his palm closer to my face, I flinch, expecting a slap on my face.
To my dismay, he doesn’t hit but kisses me instead.
