A Letter

98. A Letter

🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍

Last night turned out to be wonderful. After what happened at the party, I thought there was no saving it. But Jacob was there to save the day.

In an exceptionally cheerful mood, I call Ira and she answers the call in a rather grumpy voice,” What is it?”

My eyes widen and I am suddenly unsure why I called her.

“uhmmm… nothing… What happened to you?” I ask casually.

“Spit it!”

Jesus! This girl scares me sometimes.

I hold my ground anyway. “No… You tell me. What happened?”

“I want to kill Liam!”

Okay… Fine by me.

“Why?”

“He is acting like an asshole big brother!!” she cries. “I was supposed to go on an outing with a boy today and he scared him off. I want to fucking kill him!”

I can see the imaginary veins of her brain popping in exasperation.

If Ira gets a chance, she might indeed kill him. She isn’t the one anybody should mess with.

Then I realize… She is trying to date new people!

Wow! That’s good.

“I am glad you are trying to move on!“ Words slip out of my mouth.

“That’s your take away?”

“uhmm,” I say, unsure.

One wrong answer could mean my demise. I am not sure anymore if I will be fortunate around this girl in college. Maybe the distance made our friendship better.

I wince at the thought.

Too late to change colleges now. I am not even a chemistry major. Fuck it. I usually fail speculatively at science.

Then she giggles.

“Alright, I am fucking with you....” she says in a cheerful voice as if she wasn’t giving me a hard time barely a few seconds ago.

“Why did you call though?”

“You mean Liam didn’t-”

“Oh, he did… and I will get even with him soon… You say… Why did you call?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.”

She scoffs. “Ever since you got yourself a hot boyfriend, you don’t remember me unless you are in trouble. Now spit it out! What did you do?”

I roll my eyes and say, “I didn’t do anything! Rather… Something happened.”

She snorts. “It’s the same thing! What is it, though?”

I swallow, thinking that it is a good idea to tell her. Considering how she is still trying to get over her situation with Liam.

“Spit it…” she says, annoyed.

She has little patience today.

“I think I am in love.”

Again…

“Have… you told him?”

“No.”

“So you aren’t sure?”

“I am sure!”

“So what’s the problem?” she asks.

“I am confused… Why… I still feel things for West…”

Then I tell her. Everything he did and said last night. Shamed me. Hurt me.

“Why would I even react to his kiss if I don’t want him?” This thought nagged me the whole night.

“Wait… I don’t get it… Did you… kiss him back?” She asks.

“No... I pushed him… But… I was tempted to give in…” I admit, feeling guilty even at the thought.

“But you still pushed him.” She states.

“You made a choice, and you didn’t give in… Your choice matters, Natalie. You need to understand that.”

I nod. Trying to convince myself.

“Although you really need to get your shit together…” She says. “Last night he literally proved how toxic, asshole he is... and that forced kiss.. That’s practically assault!”

“IRA” a voice calls her out from behind.

“My asshole step brother is here. I gotta go and kick his ass for ruining my date.”

I snicker and cut the call.

I glance at the clock and text Riley, wondering where she would be.

Me: ‘How’s your hangover?’

Riley: ‘Terrible…’

Me: ‘Where are you now?’

Riley: ‘With West. he is cleaning up the house..’

My shoulder slump.

Riley: ‘Did you see that chat about Millie?’

Me: ’Yeah…’

Riley: ‘I am so damn angry at her… but feeling bad about her too.’

Me: ‘I am dreading the heat she will get in school.’

Riley: ‘Let’s catch up with her once. Whatever happens, she needs some comfort and support..’

I don’t want to see her. But it will give me some time with Riley without West being around.

Me: ‘Sure. See at 4?’

Riley: ‘Yup! My place.’

…..

Talking to Ira did settle my mind.

My choice matters and I chose Jacob.

Now, I want to see him and admit everything to him. I did try to tell him what West really meant to me, but I felt so hesitant.

Next time I talk to him, I don’t want to change my mind once again. I need to do something about it. To make sure I don’t back off.

I think for a while. Once I am sure and ready. I take a pen and paper to write my heart out.

Once I am done writing, I read it again and again. It looks good and genuinely describes my emotions.

I just wish… I could say everything to his face. Although I don’t trust myself. So I choose to drop the letter to him, anyway. I need to do it now before I back off from this or change my damn mind again.

Me: ’What are you doing?’

Jacob: ‘Came out with Norris and June for lunch. You?’

Me: ‘Just took a bath…’

Jacob: ‘Too bad I couldn’t join you..’

I grin. If we were not in a hurry in the morning or weren’t too hungry for food, we would have skinny dipped in the lake.

Maybe next time.

I blush just thinking about everything we did out in the open last night.

Me: ‘I need my notes back’.

Jacob: ’Like now?‘

Me: ‘yup where is it? I will go grab it.’

Jacob: ‘In my bag. Near the study table… ‘

Jacob: ‘ Don’t you dare touch my stuff or snoop around!’