Future

112. Future

🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍

I lay with my head on his chest, breathing heavily. I am still trying to process the fact that he came here for me. He draws circles on my shoulder and says, ”I think we should talk before we start fucking again.”

It makes me giggle and I hide my face in his chest. He chuckles and hugs me tight.

It’s been more than two hours… and we kissed and kissed and kissed. And of course fucked… and made love.

“Happy Birthday Natalie…” He says, finally.

I glance at the clock. It’s almost 12.

“You remember…” I thought maybe he forgot.

“Of course I do…” He says softly. “You have no idea how miserable I was this morning…”

“Me too,” I say quietly. “I was damn angry, but I missed you…” I take a pause, wondering if I should admit. “This is why… I asked dad to change my number.”

“I figured that much…”

“I didn’t trust myself to keep my distance from you.” I tell him.

He breathes heavily. “You wanted to keep your distance because I hurt you too much.” He states and rubs my back. I am not sure he is doing this to soothe me or to soothe himself.

“I am sorry… I wish I could take back what I said that day,” he adds when I don’t answer. He must have apologized a millionth time by now. I haven’t choked out the words ‘it’s ok’ yet. Because it wasn’t ok.

“Please… Say something… Are you okay? Are we okay?” He asks softly.

I place my chin on his chest and look at him. He is looking at me intently with the most vulnerable expression ever.

To be honest, the way we fucked and kisses past few hours, it is obvious we are okay. He doesn’t have to apologize again and again to make sure I forgive him.

It is obvious I am fine now.

But the fact that he is still asking makes my heart swell with warmth.

“I wanted to keep my distance because I wasn’t sure… I wanted to see everything with a different perspective…’’

Dad wasn’t wrong about that. Although it didn’t work the way dad expected. The distance only made me realize how much I wanted him back. Despite the anger and hurt, I wanted to make it work.

But the distance made me wiser. I am wise enough to understand A relationship shouldn’t be at my expense. I don’t have to give all the way in without expecting anything. Expecting love and respect from him is my first right and I will not stay in a relationship with anything less.

I bite my lips, contemplating if I should admit it to him or not.

“I wasn’t sure… but I wanted to meet you after coming back home next month. I never thought you would come here… Dad made sure nobody knew about it…”

He nods “Even Ira didn’t know… She just made a guess.. Riley connected the dots.”

My cheeks burn, remembering how I felt jealous, thinking maybe Jacob has moved on with Riley.

It’s too embarrassing to admit.

I know he is a Demi. Moving on wouldn’t happen easily for him. I am not even sure why my stupid brain thought that way when I saw that post.

“If it wasn’t for them, I never would have figured out where to look,” He says.

“You still found me… No one has gone this far for me before…” This isn’t a small campus, to be honest.

It makes me feel loved.

A lone tear slips out of his eye. I scoot up and bring my lips near his and say, “I want to try again, Jacob. I don’t want to live miserably anymore...”

He smiles. I take his face between my hands and kiss him.

…….

“How is everyone there?” I don’t dare tell him that I missed that pathetic place.

“Mostly good… Riley is good.. Norris too.”

And West? In my defense, I want to know if he is miserable or not?

He goes quiet for a moment, then says, “I am sure you already know about Millie..”

I nod. They expelled her.

“Do you think I should drop the charges?” First hearing is due in a few weeks. I am not sure what I should do.

“What! No…” He scowls. “People should be punished for this kind of shit, Natalie.”

I grimace. He is right, why would I think like this..

“I don’t know.. I think I understand how desperate she was.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Is this why your dad cut you off from everyone? ”

I frown. “Because I am dumb?” I ask him, offended.

“No Jeez No! Because you melt too easily. You forgive too easily..” He says then winches.

“I mean, I appreciate that you have forgiven me…” He says carefully.

I forgave him long ago, but there is no way I am going to say the exact words to his face. I grin inwardly.

“I won’t drop the charges… I was just thinking she probably wouldn’t be accepted in college...”

And… I felt bad about it. Fuck, I am dumb!

“Don’t worry about it. She can still complete her education if that’s what you are worried about…” He says.

We talk about many things. He told me dad pushed him at the door. Mom and his mother stopped talking to each other. Not sure how they will take us being together again. But I don’t care.

We discuss many things but college. The truth lingers between us. If two months were hard.. Four years wouldn’t be a walk in the garden.

“I was told I cannot stay here overnight,” He says after a while.

“That’s ok… Yea, they will probably be pissed if they realize you stayed here for the night. “

But I don’t care.

“I… I don’t want you suspended or something, Natalie.. Although you are not a student here.. How does it even work?”

I chuckle.

“I have no idea either,“ I say, yawning.

“We should sleep… I have to leave early in the morning..” He says, spooning me from behind. I fall asleep feeling content and happy, something I haven’t felt in months.

I don’t want him to leave…

Not yet.

….