Mamá

113. Confused

🖤🖤🖤 West 🖤🖤🖤

It’s for the first time I have ever been alone for this long. Single is the word, I guess. I tried to convince Riley, and I tried hard. But then I realized she can be God damn stubborn when she wants to be. In the next few days, a few things happened… Subtle, but enough to put me on edge and I felt it was better to leave her alone.

“What happened to your girlfriend?” Caleb had asked.

“None of your business!”

He chuckled. “I know you guys broke up.”

He shoves my personal information in my face to show me he keeps tabs on me. His tactics are getting old and have little effect on me. His requests to keep his precious packages secured in my house have increased. I have an inkling he is trying to set up a business for himself. I just hope he doesn’t drag me in his mess.

“You must miss her in bed.”

“Don’t push me Caleb.” I warned him.

He shrugged. “If you are not dating her, I guess it’s an open pass for me-”

I punched his face before he could complete his sentence. He pushed me back and threw two nice blows to my ribs. He is getting weaker. His punches barely affected me that day. Probably drug abuse.

He is breaking the basic rule of the business. Don’t take what you sell.

Probably that’s why he needs my help more often these days. He is getting wary and trying to keep me under his thumb.

Ever since he made that comment, I started following Riley to make sure she was safe. Because Caleb can be an unpredictable ass. It wasn’t pleasant for either of us, but I couldn’t help it. Nowadays she tags along with Jacob.

I hate it. But it’s a good thing. So I don’t bother them…

Often.

……

“Will you pass it?” David asks me as coach and Jacob leave the locker room.

That’s all I needed today. An argument with the coach… as if I didn’t have enough on my plate to deal with. Caleb has been pestering me to meet some people. Either his boss or a partner. I don’t want to meet anybody. These things are hard to back off from. I already feel too deep in this shit. I don’t want to go deeper.

“I am not sure.” I tell him. I haven’t taken anything after my ribs were healed. But Caleb had slipped something into my drink a few days ago.

“You should loosen up! Fuck some girls!” he told me.

I was high too soon, and my head was throbbing the next day. I hallucinated so bad, I was almost convinced I had called Natalie. Apologized to her.

If I knew what I had that night, I would be sure if the test will come clean or not. It’s useless to ask Caleb. He loves to fuck with my head. Now I will probably get suspended and banned from game.

.… …. ….

I go towards the parking lot and see Riley waiting in the parking lot. I cannot help but walk to her. She hates it but I cannot help the pull sometimes.

“What are you doing here?”

She looks at me and replies indifferently while browsing her phone, “I don’t have to answer you, West.”

I saw her post from some party last night. I cannot help but comment, “I hope you are being precautious-”

“Stop being paranoid and leave me alone!” She cuts me in the middle.

Then I noticed his pretend boyfriend, Jacob, coming towards us.

Fucking great!

Why is she here though?

“Where are you going now?” I ask her.

“None of your business!” She says and gets in his car as Jacob unlocks it for her.

I want to throttle him sometimes. But that’s okay. At least she is not alone.

There are times when it’s difficult for me to understand what’s happening and what’s not.

Maybe I am indeed being paranoid.

…..

My phone rings as I see them leave. Caleb is calling. I disconnect it. I really don’t have time or energy to take his shit right now.

Almost immediately, another call comes through. It’s a number with a country code +34.

Not USA.

I usually ignore such calls. But for some reason, I pick it up.

“Hello…”

“Hi… Is this Weston’s number?”

My heart thumps with angst. Nobody calls me Weston anymore. Nobody remembers this name. Except for…

“Yes..” I say, swallowing hard.

“Oh… Hi… ummm Weston.. It’s me, you mother… Maria… ” she says, in a heavy Spanish accent as I stand there shell-shocked.

She liked old school names. I hated it and got it changed when she left me alone with Alfred. I breathe heavily as I try to process the fact that she is alive… and is talking to me.

I thought she might be dead… because I couldn’t accept that she left me for good. So she was the one sending me money.

“Hi Mom…” words slip out of my mouth as my eyes become wet.

“Honey.. How… how are you doing?” I hear her sniffing.

“I am good. How are you?” I ask the automated question. I am feeling numb. I don’t know how to process it.

“Now I am better…I- I really had no right to call you Weston… after I left you alone for this long.. But I hope Alfred is being a better parent than me.”

I stay quiet. I am not sure what I am supposed to tell her.

“I… I was a mess, and I wasn’t -”

“That’s Ok Mom… I am good. If that matters.. ” I don’t want to hear her excuses. I don’t want to ruin this memory.

Who knows if she will talk to me again.

“How is Alfred? Does he treat you well?”

“Yeah.. He is good… Best father ever…” I tell her.

She sniffs and laughs.

“Thank goodness… I was afraid-.” She says.

“mamá” Someone calls her from behind. She has a family.

“Espera un minuto cariño…” she tells the child in a soft voice.

Is this why she left? To have a loving family. The one she didn’t have here.

“Weston.. I.. I am coming to USA next month.. Do you think we could catch up?”

“When?” I ask her.

“Last week… I will probably stay for ten days… If you are okay, you can spend some time with us…” she offers hesitantly.

“I have a hockey season finale on the 30th. Maybe you can come and watch me play.” I offer.

“Oh, Dios mío!” she exclaims. “You play hockey.”

“I… I have been told I am good at it.”

“Oh cariño I would love to see you play…” she says in a cheerful voice then sniffs again. She is crying too.

I want to believe her. I want to ask her so many questions. But I stop myself. What if sometimes come up and she doesn’t come?

“Mamá deja ir” The voice calls her out again in a whine voice. It’s probably a young girl.

“Oh Weston.. I.. I will certainly come to see you… I figured your address is the same. Right?” She asks a few questions and cuts the call.

I stand there stunned and unable to believe if I indeed talked to her. After almost a decade. It feels like a miracle.

It would be a shame if I get suspended now. I look around and see Coach’s car still parked. I go into his office to see him again.