Chapter 17: This Deadly Desire

“That was what I’ve seen on the Moon Goddess’s fountain.” I stared at him with wide eyes as he slowly shifted back, sweaty abs greeted me and his bare skin beckoning my lips to wash all that worries away.

So I looked away. Truth be told, I badly wanted to tell him that I didn’t feel a connection with Brandon, but it seems like Zarion is really convinced that I’m his step-brother’s mate. Several emotions swarmed within me further: anger, sadness, penance, and despondency etched on my system because of that.

There was just pain and confusion in my chest. “For your Moon Goddess’ sake Zarion, I am not his mate!” I whined like a child, unleashing what seemed to be a kid’s tantrums. He didn’t reply, and neither did I. I felt sick, knowing that Alpha Brandon was my mate. Just a thought of it, I would rather spend my life in prison than to be trapped in his arms forever.

“I can’t even feel the connection between us,” I murmured, more to myself despite the fact I saw Zarion flinch at my words. If what Delilah said—that mate is the most romantic thing that could happen in your entire life as a werewolf, then it definitely is not. Well, I’m not a werewolf, so there must have been a mistake either.

Alpha Zarion brought me to the cabin where we first met—which made me anxious since it’s only a walking distance from our castle. The castle where my grandmother is probably sleeping by now, the castle where I grew up and was eventually banished due to my heart being entangled with the mysterious Zarion. Instantly, he closed the door and put me on the table where I once put him during his wolf form. He peeked at a small hole beside the lock, wincing.

“Are they gone?” I asked him

“Of course they are. This cabin is at least a few miles away from the pack. I managed to divert our scent and they lost track of us.” Appeasement washed away my worries, and I stood from the table, sitting on the worn cushioned chair after that. “You need to leave immediately,” Zarion started talking. And I can’t help but listen to his soothing husky voice.

“Why?” I looked up at him.

“Brandon. He's going to find you for sure.”

“How can you be wholly sure?”

“Because I’m his brother!” His punch brought the wooden table into splinters, and I cannot help but gape in amazement and fear. “Besides, he already has a wife! And finding out about you being his mate—”

“I thought she’s a fiancee? I already met her and she is...” Well, I don’t know anything about her aside from her name being Hestia.

“Well not his current wife. But they will be wedded soon.”

“Okay…” I inhaled. “Why are we talking about her all of a sudden?” Swallowing, I clenched my teeth in an unexplained emotion. Wait, is he in love with her? Is he secretly in love with his brother’s fiancee?

“Are you in love with Hestia?” It was a random question, stupid question. And I’m so stupid for asking that.

And I hate that I sound jealous, too.

He just looked me in the eye like a foolish child. “Are you, Zarion?”

Please tell me you’re not. Please, please, please…

Inside my head, I prayed he was not. But Zarion ignored my question and pointed a finger at me, continuing our conversation. “She is ruthless. Once she finds out and confirms that you are Brandon’s mate, she's going to kill you."

“Of course,” I chuckled without remorse. “You’re in love with her.” I immediately looked away from him. He could have said no, right? But he didn’t. He just stared me in the eye as I paced back and forth in the cabin, the thought of him being in love with Hestia was eating me into pieces. I left my grandmother for him. I left the castle—my home—-for him.

How foolish of me to think that he was there to save me. He knows Brandon will call Hestia, so Zarion could have a look at her for a long time.

“Cassidy, what are you thinking?!” Zarion snapped me back to reality and held my hand to his face. “That night,” I whispered, gazing at our entwined hands. The wooden floor of the cabin creaked beneath my feet, “I shouldn’t have followed you in the woods.”

“But you did.” He brought our tangled hands to his lips, kissing the center of it. “And I’m happy you did, Cass.” Those whispered words are with uttermost sincerity and affection, I can feel it. See it.

“W-What—” I took a step back, biting my lower lip. “I thought you don’t want me?”

“I thought a lot about that, too,” he let out an outburst of raw laughter but not entirely sarcastic. Goosebumps seeped in my bones when I heard that. “I was trying to convince myself. Fuck, it nearly brings me to a stupid death. You fucked my whole system you know.”

Then Zarion looked at me straight in the eyes, eyes pure and shimmering. “Cassidy.”

“Zarion.”

“Believe me, I tried everything—fucking everything—to divert my attention from you because you keep on appearing in my dreams, messing up my thoughts, and destroying every bit of patience and self-discipline left in my body. But…” He paused, filling his lungs with enough air to continue.

“But what?”

“But in the end, I keep on.” Zarion then looked away from me. “It keeps on and on, and on…”

“Keep on what, Zarion?”

“Fuck it,” He cursed. Yet his hand met my face, caressing my burning cheek using his thumb. My hands were freezing, unlike his, which was as warm as the fireplace. The sound of crackling embers and the cozy warmth shrouding the air drowned my worry and sadness.

I was about to hug him when he took a step backward. I’m not going to lie if that didn’t hurt me. It did hurt me. It hurts me so much that I couldn’t measure it.

As painful as it might be, I ignored it and diverted the topic.

“What if I don't want him?” He knows I’m talking about Alpha Brandon and the mate thing without so much of an effort to explain.

“You reject him.”