Silly

I stared at Magnus and Aira on stage.

I heaved a deep sigh.

I walked quickly away from that place. I tried to hold back the sob coming out of my mouth until I got away from the mansion.

He is shameless! The thickness of his face will make me just a scapegoat!

I let the hot liquid on my cheek flow. I no longer care who saw me. I just want to cry it all out.

Why didn’t I immediately think of that? My mind warned me first! I know that kiss is wrong! I pushed him! But I’m this silly idiot, sent the call of the flesh!

My stupid fool!

I smashed my hand in the light post. My knuckles turned red. It looks painful.

But why can’t I feel the pain? Am I just numb from the pain I feel?

Why me?! Why am I just experiencing misery in the world ?! Fate is making me even more miserable!

I glanced one last time at the mansion and walked away.

“Ms. Carosca, you’re late. Thank you Sir isn’t here yet if you don’t have a job right now.” Belinda opened up to me outside Magnus’s office.

I just kept my gaze on the envelope I was holding.

“Are you still really calm? Oh Celiza. You haven’t seen Sir get angry lately---”

I dropped the white envelope on the desk. He frowned at it.

“Please give it to Sir,” I said.

“A-what is it?

Her eyes are full of questions.

“Resignation letter, Belinda.” I said.

“You’re going to resign? Why? You’re almost a month away! You’re just so new.” I could feel the regret in the voice

I sighed. “I-it’s necessary.”

Because if I don’t do it, the problem will only get worse and what happened before will happen again.

It doesn’t have to happen because we’re fine. Somehow we get on with life and I’m almost used to living a simple life.

While he was already successful. It was famous and rich, chased by women, unlike before. Everything he could get. Everything he wants will be immediately available to him.

The opposite of my life now. I don’t want to experience the pain and bitterness that I try to forget.

I shouldn’t have continued to be Magnus’ secretary from the beginning.

Who did I fool?

He’s successful now. Its standard has probably increased in women. He probably already has a girlfriend.

Fiance even, that bwiset Aira.

Of all the women, why is she still there ?!

Fuck him!

There’s no chance that we could be together again. His mother hates me to the core.

Unlike Aira, his mom likes her so much.

So they are getting married.

Who would have thought that those two nerds would end up together?

I thought the nerd and the bad girl always end up together just like in novels and movies, I was wrong because it doesn’t always go like that.

“Why? Did something bad happen?”

Tears pooled my eyes. Every time I remember what happened last night I burst into tears. Bwiset tears it! Not finished!

“W-nothing.” I said, secretly wiping away the tears.

Her eyes narrowed. “Are you sure? Your eyes are wide.”

“Were you scolded?”

“H-not just awake. As much as thinking. W-nothing happened to Belinda.”

“Eh, why did you re-resign?”

I took a deep breath. “Maybe because I don’t matter here.” I smiled bitterly.

“What kind of reason is that?”

“Did Sir insult you? I told you earlier that he was normal for you ---”

I shook my head. “Not Belinda. I just really need it. Please give it to me. I’ll go first. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you!”

He turned his back on it and quickly walked away without being distracted. Even though it hurts and it’s hard to find a job, I will keep it in my mind that this is the right thing to do. I shouldn’t have accepted this job in the first place.

“Wait a minute, Celiza!”

“Are you serious there? Did you really resign?” he said on the other line.

I nodded.

“Are you crazy Celiza? How are you doing now? You haven’t been paid yet, leave that right away!”

I sighed. If money were the only substitute for every sigh I would probably get rich using the day, especially now.

“M-maybe I can still go to the coffee shop ---”

“I’m not sure about that because Mrs. Hernandez immediately found a replacement for you. Unfortunately, there are many of us here.”

Why am I such a fool ?!

You are poor Celiza but you are not desperate. The money is hard but the dignity that is left to me I will never get back.

“What’s the problem? Why did you leave? Tito Alfredo’s therapy isn’t going well yet? How’s Bliss’s maintenance?”

I pursed my lips together. “H-I don’t know Miranda.”

I’m in too much of a hurry! All this time, after everything I’ve been through, I thought I can weigh decisions better now but I’m still impulsive. I didn’t even think about Bliss and Dad’s situation.

“I don’t know about you! It’s a big company. Your salary is high and your position is good but you resigned. You also have a problem, don’t you?”

“You have a racket, don’t you? That’s all ---”

“Stop it! Haven’t you been taken before? You’re rude and almost vulgar!”

“I’ll just be doubly careful ---”

“Even if you have to be very careful. There are still a lot of rude people in the world so I can’t be complacent Celiza.”

“Miranda … This is the last time.”

I pleaded.

“No! Even if you’re still crying!”

I sighed.

“Babush, the number of customers is increasing. Be careful there. Don’t worry, I’ll ruin the new one to replace you.” She joked.

I smiled at what it said. Yes, I want a job but I don’t want to get it the wrong way.

“Silly!” I said, he was dropping the call. I miss her.