Gaze

I watched the waves of the sea. Very quiet in this part of the hotel. At least this end of the hotel is so quiet really. There is a veranda here at the end of the hotel, just the right size. You can see the whole sea from here. The genius of the maker of this hotel. Nice view from here. All you can hear is the waves crashing on the rock. I let my hair go with the wind.

The cold breeze touches my face. It’s very calming. I never want to go back at the reunion. I just want to stay here and watch the sunrise.

“You really like sneaking out at parties huh?” I turned around to see who said that.

Our eyes met. I looked back at the sea again.

If he could say that, you’d think he wouldn’t leave either. He can be here too!

“Why are you here?” he asked.

It came to my side. The other man’s perfume smelled of it.

I turned to him. “You? Why are you here? You look happy there ah? Why did you leave? Have you run out of pride in the people there? Then you should go with Aira, that’s your girlfriend, don’t just leave her there, you might get distracted. You’re still beautiful. “

“Is that the reason why you left the party?” He asked.

I swallowed hard.

Yes!

He is!

“Why do I have to wait for you? That’s what I’m using so I’m leaving,” I answered him.

It is silent. “Get out of here. Go back to your girlfriend.” I said with emphasis on the word girlfriend.

“So jealousy is the reason.” He chuckled.

Is he still laughing?

I thought he forgot that as well as he forgot me.

“I’m not jealous! That’s exactly what you should do, go with your girlfriend. It’s not if you’re talking to someone else! Then get out of here! Later, new gossips will spread!” I’ll drive him away.

“I don’t want to go back there.” He said seriously.

“I like it here,” Magnus said while staring intently in my eyes.

I just kept quiet, he did the same.

He was also good at pretending that everything was gone.

I took a deep breath. I don’t want to be ruined kindly so I’ll just leave.

I turned to him and stepped on my right foot. It pulled on my wrist.

“Why are you leaving? I thought you like it here because it’s calming and peaceful?”

I removed his hand from my wrist. “It’s not peaceful because you’re there.”

I sighed.

“You know what… you’re good at manipulating people! You used me for revenge right?”

Its forehead furrowed. “I know you’re smart Magnus, don’t be so early. I’m the one you’re just using! There’s no ‘how’s that?’ kiss right away then come in! “ I said in disgust.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. He keeps on playing that he doesn’t know what I’m saying.

“Is that the way you retaliated against me before? Because I pushed you away? Because I didn’t return the love you gave me? Because I hurt you so you hurt me too ?! Is that so? That you will treat me like a beating. Just go somewhere! Are you happy? Are you happy that you got your revenge on me ?! ”I shouted at him.

Did it really look at me?

“Yes .. I’m mad at you for breaking my heart… But I won’t take revenge’s Celiza.”

“I don’t want to make love to you in that place but I can’t control myself … I miss you so much that I can’t stop my feelings for you.”

“You miss me? It’s funny, you miss all the women in front of you, especially without your girlfriend! I’m avoiding it, right ?! I don’t want to be a part of your life! That’s fine! I’m happy with her! You succeeded without me so why do you have to bother me? Why do you have to hurt me again?!”

“You’re the one who pained me, Celiza. You rejected me ‘cause I’m not good enough for you. I’m not good looking, I’m thin and I’m not the prom king. How about now? Did I pass your standards? “

“Of course I do. That night when we met again, you let me have you. You didn’t hesitate to be with a handsome guy.”

My teeth gritted. “Is that what you think of me? I rejected you ‘cause you’re a nerd? You’re ridiculous! You’re brilliant but you can’t read signs!”

“Signs? What do you mean Celiza?”

“In five years there’s not a day that you don’t haunt my brain! I’ve always thought what if I let you love me ?! What if I let myself love ?! Could this still be the outcome ?? If I’m with you, all the problems I think will disappear because you are there…. But not! I faced all of that without you Magnus!” He approached me and wrapped me in his arms. I couldn’t stop the tears from dripping from my eyes.

“I have to work for my family, Magnus! For Dad! So he can walk again and he doesn’t blame himself for why we’re suffering! You don’t know how painful it is to see a parent suffer because you grew up rich and the Magnus family is perfect! ”I said while sobbing and slapping his chest.

“And my sister…”

I looked up at him.

“I would choose her over you. No matter what happens. Even if it means hurting myself…” I paused, “And you.”

“What do you mean?”

I looked away. I quickly wiped the tears from under my eyes.

“I-I’m leaving ---” I was cut off when he grabbed my arms.

“Celiza what did you say ?!”

“You would choose your sister over me? I didn’t ask you to choose between us. I never even met her so why would you say that?”

“Did something happen before our graduation day?”

His eyes are searching for answers. I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from tearing in front of him. It pains me more to see him like this. Knowing I cannot tell him what I truly feel.

I love him …

I have loved him for years!

Even if I tell the truth nothing will change. She is getting married …

The only man I loved was getting married.

Until now he still is, Until now he still can’t.

“Tell me what happened to Celiza.”

I shook my head and averted my gaze.