She couldn't speak, she ended the call

In the room, Amanda played with Star, she seem to have changed a lot since they came back from the hospital.

She is more happy with her, than she used to be.

Initially she used to want to be with Goodluck, but she must have noticed that he was giving them attitude, and that was why, even though he held her, she still cried.

"Baby. I know you are angry with Daddy, but i don't want you to be angry, he isn't angry with us, he is just taking his time, and I hope that very soon, he would come to realize that, he misses us as much as we miss him".

The baby giggled and signed as though she could understand what she was telling her.

Amanda even started whispering in her ears.

"You know I love Daddy so much, but I will have to keep malice with him too, since he has decided that he would not talk to me, I will also not speak to him, I want to see how far he has learnt to keep silent.

She smiles as her mother kept talking to her, as though she could understand what is been said.

They played for a long time together, before Amanda breast fed her again, and she slept.

She must have exhausted herself from playing so much.

Amanda layed her in her crib, and kept staring at her.

Children are really a gift, I feel so elated having you in my life, no matter the circumstances that surrounded your birth, you are still my ace, and I love you so much;

Baby Star moved in her sleep, taking a different position in her crib.

Amanda smiles as she let her tears flow.

She thought of Goodluck in the next room.

He would never allow her cry, he hates it when she cries, but today, he had seen tears in her eyes and he could only walk away.

She is sure is for a while, but to her, every hour seem like forever, she can't wait to settle with him, so that they can go back to how they used to be.

She thought of Dave and the terminal sickness his mother talked about.

She felt sorry for him, and was no longer angry with him, for kissing her like that.

She is going to have to see him, and tell him to his face that she cannot be with him, but she has to give herself sometime.

At least, enough time to settle with Goodluck.

Baby Star let out a crying sound, Amanda quickly looked towards her side, and her eye caught the diary.

That seem like a good distraction for her.

She doesn't want to think of Dave or even Goodluck, since he doesn't want to know about her.

She grabbed a seat and opened the first page of the diary.

I really wish I can find love, but no one seem to be looking at me, let alone showing me love, does it mean I will die without anyone loving me or showing me love?

Amanda read that part and closes her eyes, imagining all the times she asked her.

She is a beautiful girl, but truely, she never came home with a guy, as her boyfriend, and that was why, on that day, when she saw Steven at the house, she didn't know he was there for something else, she was happy that she found her with a man, and she didn't want to distract them, which was why she allowed her be, while she went inside her room.

She didn't want to think if what happened next, she quickly opened another page.

"Tracy is serious about this plan against Amanda, but should I do it, Amanda is not a bad person, and she loves my brother, and what is worse, my brother loves her like mad, if i hurt Amanda, I will indirectly hurt my brother, but Tracy is full of promises to me, I really don't know what to do".

Amanda started crying, she didn't want to read anymore.

It seem as though the entire page was about her.

She kept writing about her fears and her dilemma.

It turned out that Tracy had promised to link her up with wealthy men that she could get married to, since she seemed desperate to be with a man.

"Why didn't you ever tell me, I thought you didn't like men".

Amanda found herself crying again.

Goodluck was right.

She should never have thought of it.

She should never have heard the truth, for it keeps hurting her.

Then she flipped on, and opened the last page.

That was the fight she had with Tracy.

She expressed her fear and anger with everything she did.

She regretted all she had done, she was begging for forgiveness, but she was only writing it out.

Maybe if she had seen her before her death, she would have told her all she needed to know.

But why am I so worried?

She asked herself, for she was trying really hard to stop herself from crying still she kept crying.

She started going back to the pages she passed and paused at the one she wrote for her brother.

"I know the truth might kill you, I don't know if Amanda will ever forgive you, but if I ever get to see her, I will beg her to forgive you, for you never stopped loving her.

You were only angry, and to be angry is a natural thing.

I will really beg her to forgive you, and I know she will".

Amanda read that part over and over again until she could not read it anymore.

She thought hard about what she should do.

She found her phone and decided, she should just call him.

She searched for his number on her phone, she kept flipping through it and didn't find his number, but when she finally stopped crying, she opened her eyes wide, but all she could see were the messages she sent to Goodluck and the call she has been calling him, but then she saw his number, and she dialed it.

It didn't take long before he took the call, but she could not speak, she ended the call almost immediately,

But Dave called her back.

There is no way he would miss the chance to reach out to her.

The only problem at the time, was that she was not taking her call, but Dave was persistent, and he was very determined to hear what she has got to say.