13
The diary clung to my side as I strolled along the center of the road with no goal in mind, feeling foolish and as if I had no choice but to take what Remon could provide me, despite the agony of waiting for something I wanted him to give me. as it pertains to me
What is the point of hoping if I understood why I was in this circumstance from the beginning?
"It's only a fool, Yhra," I said in hushed tones as the light rain and wind began to fall, making me realize how chilly it would be every night if Remon weren't there to keep me company.
Why do I place my trust in someone I know who would one day abandon me and let me go after he has obtained what he desires?
I honestly don't understand why he puts up with me when he has so many other options available to him. Lesley, a tall woman, is one of the deserved recipients.
I'm far too low for someone with Remon's stature. That is something I really don't want to think about, but I can't stop myself.
I can make Remon happy, thus I don't have anything distinguishing about myself. I'm no different from the other ladies around me. The only distinction between them and Remon is that they are on the same level as Remon. I'm not one of them. I don't deserve to be with him in the first place.
"Yhra!" After a few moments of hesitation, I turned around, and Carlo's troubled expression appeared as he pulled me into his car and offered me his jacket.
"Can you tell me what you're doing here?" I was completely taken aback by his hand, which I was clutching to my left hand.
"Carlo, please assist me," I said, trying to maintain my composure in the face of adversity.
"What's up, Yhra? How are you doing?" I'm trying to reach you, but you're not there. I have no clue what will transpire in your life. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes for a little moment.
When it is really heavy, it will come out and loosen on its own accord.
"Open this fucking door, you cretin!" Carlo simply stood there staring at me as Remon's face poked out of the window.
"You're not telling me, Yhra," I murmured, a sliver of a smile on my face.
Carlo, please accept my apologies for the inconvenience. Forget anything I said. Gracias, "then I opened the car door and without notice, remon and the evil appeared in front of me.
"Why are you with that man?" he yelled at me as soon as he walked into the car, which I had just gotten into.
"Answerme Yhra! Do not continue to smile like an idiot!" My tears eventually came out, and as he continued to speak, I felt a weight pressing against my chest.
Is it possible that all I'm doing is insufficient? I'm not sure why I have to catch you with Carlo, though. He had a barrage of regretful questions for me, and his grip on my arm was so strong that his eyes were fixed on my hand, which was still clutching the diary that Lesley had given me earlier in the evening.
Because of the emotion on his face, I grew softer in response to his question: "Why are you acting like that?"
He appeared to be optimistic, yet his eyes were filled with sadness.
He handed her the diary he was writing in. She began to turn the first page of the book. While I was looking at Lesley's engagement ring, they snapped a photo of the beach.
"As soon as I have our photo up here, I'm confident Lesley will say yes to my proposal."
My tears streamed down my face as he flipped the pages of the journal one by one, carefully timing each page turn to halt his sobbing.
"He handed it to me earlier in the day." "I'll hand it on to you." He gave me a thoughtful gaze. When he looked at me, I felt like I was melting. His eyes were filled with tears and sorrow. It seemed as if he was waiting for something that never arrived, and he was right.
Is he still willing to wait for Lesley after such a long time? Was it ever his intention to hold out hope for something that would never come true?
Every time I stare into his bulging eyes, I find myself gasping for air.
"Are you still holding out hope that he'll come back?" I inquire. He made the necessary adjustments, then carefully closed his eyes and walked out the door. I'm simply sitting here and watching her miss the guy she so desperately wants to be with and how she misses him.
For the time being, I will serve as his temporary company until whatever it is he is anticipating becomes available.
"I don't know who Yhra is, and I'm perplexed," I said. Then I mustered up the courage to look him in the eyes, and he turned to face me.
Patting my hand, she explained that she was married and that I would not be returning for what I'd been waiting for.
"Can you tell me what you want me to do? Your appearance reminds me of Lesley, therefore I'll chose you." I was deafeningly quiet as I locked my gaze on him. Awaiting his next move, what he would say next.
"I'm sorry, Yhra, but I can't chose you just on the basis of your appearance. Staying around you makes me feel as if I'm just playing a game with my own mind. Now that I've realized I'm not going to be able to move on, you will never be enough to replace the need left by Lesley. I can't seem to break free from the cage in which Lesley has imprisoned my heart. My dear Yhra, I'm not sure I want to continue this." The things that Remon is saying keep ringing in my ears, and it feels like he is speaking incessantly.
Chest pain was the source of the discomfort. After everything he had said, it was difficult to believe him. I have done everything I could to help him and have damaged my own life in the process, giving up my joy and dignity in exchange for every sacrifice and pain I have endured.
Suffering and bereavement
It's fine for you to tell me all of that, but I hope you understand that I made sacrifices in order to do everything I wanted and everything you wanted as well. I was generous with my time. Despite the fact that I already understood what you wanted, I did everything you asked. When I first started, there was no one to take my position, and I didn't anticipate anyone to ever come back to see me again. "However, I took a chance because I have a great deal of faith in you!"
However, everything has vanished, and things will happen too swiftly for us to recall them, so everything will vanish very soon indeed.
My automobile was hit by the power of the rain shovel as I got out of his car. I couldn't stand the power of the rain any longer and decided to stroll along the road. I wasn't sure if I had a specific destination in mind.
"Yhra!" In an instant, he faced me, and Remon was drenched to the skin as his gaze was fixated on me.
Isn't it true that I truly deserve you? Is it difficult for you to bet with me? What more have you accomplished for us, Remon? Is it just a case of you not having everything? Does it seem like you don't feel anything while you're with me? It's almost as if I'm pleading with him to admit that he has feelings for me in some little way.
"Please respond to my request." I use hot tears as a negative indicator that it is raining since the droplets are quite chilly.
Perhaps it's simply passion, a craving for Lesley's company. When I heard it from Remon, I continuously clutched my stomach and stole my breath away.
Everything that was on my mind, everything that was clinging to what I was feeling and dreaming of, all of it fell at the same time and lost its supporting structure and support.
I couldn't stop crying because I was having so much chest agony.
It's all right. Then I turned around and covered my mouth to keep the tears from streaming down my face at his expense.
If Yhra is not the person you anticipate her to be, you have no place in her life. I am nothing more than a deluding illusion.
It was the last thing I spoke to Remon before making my own decision. "Thank you, Remon, thank you very much," I said.
It is time for me to exercise my own will, even if it is difficult, and to put in the hard work that I must do for my own betterment.
Because, when the time comes, I won't be alone anymore, I promise.
There is no end to my gambling. I made a rash decision that resulted in injury.
