Chapter 14

"Hello mom, can you hear me? I miss you so much. I want to tell you a lot of things, so you have to come back home. Everyday has been pain for me, without you. I have stopped thinking about meeting Uncle Cornel because I am trying to be strong for daddy and granny. I made a new friend. Her name is Ella. I'm sure you'll be glad to know that I have a friend now. Ella is two years younger than I am, and she's lovely to be with. I have a new driver, dad's personal driver Colin. He's almost twenty. I love him driving me back home every afternoon. He isn't dangerous like I thought. In fact, I think I like him, mom. I still get bullied in school and at church but I don't really care. I'm used to it. I just want you to be here so I can discuss a lot of things with you. I was kidnapped by a evil man and it's strange to know that he is Ella's father. Ella hates him. I don't like him too but you said hate is a strong word. So I won't say I hate him. Mom, I now believe God is alive

I have stopped doubting him because he manifested himself to me during my experience in the killer's house. He saved me from dying. He was with me even though I was alone. I felt his presence and no one can ever convince me that he's not alive. Mom I'm sick and tired of everything. A lot has been happening since your absence. I think dad is planning to betray you. I don't trust him even after he said he'd never remarry, but I heard Mr Ralph say something about a new wife last night. Would you like to see your husband taken by a strange woman? And your daughter being bossed around by a strange woman? I know you wouldn't like that. I hate to think that dad might want to remarry. As much as I think he can never do that to you, I hate to admit I'm not even sure of anything now. Dad and his friend talks in hushed tones whenever he visits and they laugh more. It annoys me. They're keeping secrets from me, even granny is doing that or maybe I just think so. I have been praying for your safety for months. I want you to know I love and care for you, and that you need to come back."

It was one of the epistles she wrote to her missing mom in her dark days. It helped her feel better. She wrote letters everyday-some to her mom, some to God, some to Uncle Cornell in 'heaven' and others to herself. It was Saturday and the day was sunny. Juana sat at her desk and opened her curtains to let the sunshine in. It signified hope and radiance. So she watched it, with her pen in her hand and her big diary on the reading table. Her bed was unlaid, her shoes scattered and her hair rough. Everywhere was a mess, including her mind. But outside, there was so much sunshine and bubbling that it made her smile hopefully. She looked at her wardrobe, it was empty because all her dresses were scattered on the floor. Her mirror which had broken into pieces were on the floor. The door to her bathroom was open and it smelt nice. It was the only place that had not been affected by her fits of rage last night. Yeah she was very furious last night. Last night had been a hard time for her because someone triggered her anger and pain. Mr Ralph, dad's friend who also owned a ranch had visited them the previous evening. He had commented on Juana's behavior and complained to Baron that she was too irritable and lazy. This was how it happened. He brought some avocados and groceries for them and asked Juana to carry them inside the house but she said 'We don't need them'

'What do you mean you don't need them? Don't be stupid' He asked. Baron had come in between to say "Juana just take them inside. Obey first" but Juana was angry because Mr Ralph was looking at her family as objects of pity. It was demeaning to think he thought them poor. He knew they didn't eat avocados but he brought them anyway. It was annoying. What was even more annoying was that Baron was accommodating him.

"Take them inside" Baron pleaded with his eyes.

"No they're too heavy and we don't even need them. We are not poor" she yelled

"The new wife might like them, who knows?" He said. Juana was too shocked to ask any questions. New wife? What the hell is that supposed to mean? She was even more shocked and afraid when Baron didn't give a reply to that. She walked angrily to her room to lock up herself until Mr Ralph left. That was when she heard him call her "irritable and lazy". She hated the look of pity he had on his face and the tone of mockery or sarcasm he had in his voice. If she didn't leave that moment, she knew she'd be close to punching his face. That anger was what brought the mess in her room. She had transfered her anger to those innocent objects.

The next day, Juana cleaned her room and went downstairs for breakfast. She had not eaten dinner with her family last night because she was not in a good mood.

Over breakfast, Baron said " Juana, Ralph was really offended by your actions. You have to apologize to him today"

"But I didn't do anything"

Granny answered from the kitchen "I know you're grieving, darling. We all are, but you have to learn to treat people well and respect older people" she was doing the dishes and backing the doorway.

"He doesn't deserve my respect" Juana said. Baron ignored her. Granny shook her head

"Today after breakfast, you must go and apologize to him"

"Dad!"

"Yes I said so"

"Dad, you should know that man doesn't really like us. He's just full of pity and I hate being pitied"

"Shut up" Baron said with an authoritative voice that shocked her. Then he dropped his cutleries carelessly and stood up. He had only eaten half of his meal.

"After breakfast, go and apologize before he goes to church. He leaves at 9am. And you mustn't be late to Sunday school or I'll ground you" he said and went to the garage.

"Lest I forgot we'll be having visitors here in the afternoon after church. So you have to behave yourself or I'll ground you like I said earlier" he yelled from the garage. Granny sighed and walked up to the table to join her granddaughter.

She rubbed her shoulders and sat with her.

"Juana, these people care for us, that's why they visit and bring things. That's the only way they can show they care, apart from praying for us. You should appreciate it and not make them feel bad about coming." She said trying to cheer her up.

"Dad says he'll ground me" she sobbed

"No he won't. He was just talking out of anger. Now eat and let's get ready for church. Sunday school starts in fifteen minutes"

"How can I keep up? Dad didn't even wait for us"

"Eat on time and then go apologize to Ralph. I'll run a bath for you while you're gone. Don't waste time there"

But Juana stopped eating and began to walk towards Ralph's. His house was just few minutes away. When she got there, he was fully dressed for church. He had two grownup boys who were all ready for church too. His wife was already waiting in the car. She reluctantly told him she was sorry for being rude the other day. He said "it's okay" with a big smile and told her to hurry home so she wouldn't miss Sunday school. Juana was grateful she barely spent five minutes there.

She ran home quickly and found granny running a bath already.

"That was so quick" she said

"I need a bicycle, it would have been quicker" Granny laughed.

"Come on now and have your bath. After church, you can ask your dad to get you a bicycle"

"Not until he stops being mad at me"

"Huh uh"

So granny helped her get ready on time. The Sunday school was just starting when they arrived church. Juana could see her dad somewhere in the crowd. He was not looking their way; he was busy with opening and marking verses in his bible. Juana wished he could just look up at them so he would know they got to church early despite the fact that they had to use commercial taxi. Juana liked church. It was something her mom loved, so it automatically made her like it too. The part she enjoyed most was the bishop's sermon. The bishop was a funny man, and he was very outspoken. It made sermon very lively. Juana had never seen anyone sleep while he was teaching. Another reason why she liked church was because it was a many-people church and God was real there. The presence of God was felt in every item of the service. Many people she knew attended the church-Ivy and Alicia's family, Lilian and her family, and even Colin. It was fun in the teenager section too. The choir rendition was lively and at the end of it, the bishop mounted the podium. Everyone clapped. Before he started his teaching, he called out the newbies in the church. Six people's hands flew up.

"Stand to your feet, brethren. You're welcome to the house of the Lord" the Bishop said. There were four women, a girl and a little boy. Juana looked closely and realized that the girl and boy was Ella and a little boy that looked like her. Her brother? She shouted and pointed and fidgeted on her seat with amusement. Her new friend was attending the same school and church with her. She didn't know she had caused a scene until the Bishop yelled "Silence in the house of the Lord please" and everyone looked her direction. That was when she realized she had been shouting too abnormally. She covered her face with her book in shame. Her dad was in the front pew and he was looking at her. She could feel his gaze settling upon the side of her face with the corner of her eyes.

"Double trouble" she whispered to herself.

The newbies were prayed for, and asked to sit. And then the Bishop began to preach. The subject of focus was MIRACLES. Juana listened with rapt attention. She became unusually quiet throughout the rest of the service.

"Miracles are like magical occurrences but they are not magic" Juana penned down his words.

"When everything looks uncertain and then something good happens suddenly, it is what we call miracle"

"Miracle isn't just good news. It is unexpected good news" Many people nodded including Baron.

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After church, Juana ran to Ella and embraced her. They were so happy to meet each other again.

"This is your brother?'

" Yes his name is John" she said holding little John's hands. He could not be older than six years.

"He's five" Ella said as if reading her mind.

"Nice. He looks cute"

"Thanks" John mumbled

"I'm so glad you've chosen to attend our church"

"I'm happy to see you here too"

When they got to the entrance of the church, Juana asked "Who did you come with?"

"We are alone"

"I thought you live with your grandmother?" "Yes but she has a sore ankle and couldn't come with us. Juana, we have to go now. I have to prepare lunch for granny and John. See you tomorrow" she said and walked on.

"Wait" Juana begged.

"What?"

"Come say hello to my dad. I'll tell him to give you a ride home" And sure enough, Baron joined them outside and when he saw Ella leaving, he said "Wait, let me help you home"

"No thank you sir. John and I will be just fine" she said and hurried away, pulling the little boy fast.

"She behaves like an adult" Baron sighed after she left

"That's what pain can do to you-mature you before your time" Juana said and slid into the car. But Juana could not help wondering why she didn't want anyone to know where she lived.