Chapter 3

My friend turned enemy

I was lonely

Until you came

A friend you were truly

We played handball and some other games

My joy knew no bounds

Seeing you jumping at me, making barking sounds

In the mall,

On the lawn

At bedtime when everything is quiet and still

And in the street, on the floor, on the road, on the hill

I fed you with food

You fed me with company

Our friendship was very smooth

And I could not see between us any suffering

You were my personal belonging

You made my nights and mornings

One morning came and you left

You said goodbye but it hurt

I knew it won't be fine anymore and I did fret

But it seemed that was my lot

You are my friend

But you brought me pain

It was not something you did intentionally send

And up till now, I still caress the spot on my bed you did lay

I love you Campbell

I miss you, my best friend

And although you did bring me pain,

You never meant any harm, and I know

The future will tell

That your inflicting allergies on me was sane

-Juana Leon

That was the poem Juana wrote about her dog. She wrote it on the second night after Campbell was taken away and when her mother saw the letter, it did make her cry. Juana's dog was taken to her father's ranch-Leon's haven it was called. She still saw her dog, still talked to it whenever she followed her dad to the ranch but she wasn't allowed to touch it. Her parents bought her teddy bears to replace him. Usually she would talk to her dog throughout the night and rub its fur while he slept so that she would not have to sleep but now that he was no longer with her, she had to let sleep overwhelm her every night even though she was scared of what she would see that night. Juana rarely wrote down what she dreamt, she just remembered them offhand. Besides, she dreaded writing them because it made her mind sick. Her granny called her almost everyday just to know what she saw the previous night and Juana would tell her everything.

Sometimes, Juana didn't see anything at all, sometimes she saw good things, but most times, she had nightmares. When her granny called to ask about her dream the night after she saw something about avocados, Juana refused to tell her about it because it involved someone dying. The person was dying. Not dead. She didn't want to imagine any of her parents or even her granny dying, when she tried to, the imagination hurt her so much she got bad headaches. Juana felt like telling someone about it, talking to someone about her whole life, but she wanted a neutral person because she didn't want to worry her parents and granny. She tried to talk to Ivy in class but she shunned her. During break, she put her head in her locker and filled it with tears running down her face. She just needed someone to listen and work out a solution for her. Then an idea struck her, she decided to write a letter to her class teacher, Ann. She tore a sheet and began to write when Miss Ann and others went out of the class.

"Hello Miss. Can I talk to you for five minutes please?-Juan" She slipped the note into her teacher's desk and waited for her to return to class. She did find the note after some minutes , or so Juana thought because she walked up to Juana's desk.

"Dear? Are you okay?" She asked just as Juana was raising her head from her locker "You're the only one in class. Won't you go for recess?"

"I don't want to ma" So she hadn't even seen the note yet.

"Are you sick?" She asked carefully

"No I need to talk to someone" and then Juana began to cry again. She couldn't keep the tears at bay.

"I'm here. Talk to me" she said and held the genius' hands "what could be making you cry?"

"I don't know how to say it but I'm scared of living" Juana began

"What do you mean? Are you feeling suicidal?"

"Not exactly but I am tired of myself. I don't know if you'll see me as a strange person just as others do, but the thing is I see things. Things I shouldn't see, and things too much for me to comprehend or bear, I can't even sleep at nights and I can't even tell anyone at home because they'd be worried" Juana stopped talking.

"You get nightmares?"

"A lot, and what's worse, they happen just as I see them"

"Do you believe in prayer?"

"No I don't anymore. God never answered me when I talked to him in the past. My best friends left me and he watched, my grandpa died but he didn't do anything about it, my..."

"It's OK dear, do not blame God. Prayer works wonders, I want you to believe that when you talk to God, he hears and he's willing to help you" Juana just watched. She didn't believe anymore and wished Miss Ann would stop talking about it. After five minutes, she stopped and then prayed for Juana and Juana couldn't deny the fact that she felt better afterwards. She still wished deep down her mind that her teacher would ask her to narrate the dream to her but she didn't ask. "Or was she scared of me? I'm even scared of myself" Juana thought.

When Juana got home, she went straight to the kitchen to make lunch because she didn't touch her breakfast.

"Honey" Juana looked back from the carrots she was slicing on the chicken counter. It was her mom. She saw her stuffing things into a medium-sized travel bag. Her bedroom door was open but Juana had not noticed when she came in

"Mom" she dropped the knife and went to embrace her. Dawn's face lit up in a smile

"I see you're starving. How was school today?"

"So-so"

"Did anyone offend you today?"

"No, nothing different from the normal bullying. I'm used to it" Juana said and returned to the kitchen. Her mom followed. There was a strong bond between the two.

"What are you doing slicing a bowl of carrots?" Dawn laughed

"I want to make fruit salad for the three of us, i saw you baked some cookies. They are delicious" Juana's face was beaming with smiles as she crunched the homemade cookies

"Wow i can't wait for the treat and yeah I made them all for you" Dawn laughed. It was 2pm and it was cold outside. August 8th.

"I've locked up your windows; it's so chilly outside" she said. Her countenance had a faraway tone to it. Juana understood it. It was so hard for Dawn to tell her daughter that she'd be away for two weeks. Her smile disappeared and Juana saw it.

"You'll be travelling tomorrow morning" She said

"Yes honey. I'll be back very soon I promise. Is there anything you want me to get for you? For your birthday...is there anything you want from Australia honey? Tell me" She held Juana's shoulders and peered at her face. This was the longest she would be without her daughter. She had never left her for more than a day, even that just one day was usually full of phone calls and texts of 'I miss you'. Now she was going to be away for two whole weeks. She didn't know how her daughter would survive it. As for her, she was mature enough to live without Juana for two weeks but the poor girl might not be able to cope well with it. Dawn's work didn't involve much travelling but this time around, she was invited by her boss to the meeting at Australia. For two weeks. It was a month-programme but Juana begged to be freed after two weeks.

"Juana?" Juana frowned yet more. She was too worried and afraid to look into her mother's face. Her heart was beginning to hurt from knowing her mom would be away for fourteen days.

Dawn sighed. "It's just fourteen days, honey. Close your eyes and it's gone. Like a flash of light. I'll be back soon and I'll make it up to you". Dawn was the only female who knew everything about her daughter. She understood her all the time. Sometimes her dad didn't, sometimes granny scolded her but her mother always understood her. She knew what every expression on her face meant whether it was hunger, sadness, tiredness, happiness or sleepiness.

" So just tell me what you'd like me to get you. You should know that I'll miss you too" She said and hugged Juana. "Look at me please" she begged with shaky voice.

Juana managed to look into her mother's beautiful face. She studied all the features on it as if that'd be the last she would see her. Dimpled cheek, big brown eyes, fiery hair, scanty eyelashes, thick eyebrows, almost full lips. She was a redhead.

"Can you cancel that journey mom?" Dawn was taken aback. "Can you, mom?" Juana begged

"Why?"

"You know I can't do without you in a day mom"

"I know and it's the same here honey, but you look like it's more than that. Did you see anything bad?"

"No" That was half truth.

"Then i'll be back" Those words reechoed in Juana's head. They traveled down her heart and instead of soothing it, made it jump.

"You know what? Let's think about your birthday" Dawn forced a smile. "It's a month-programme of meetings and reporting and visiting and signing but I begged to be released on the second week because of your birthday. I'm glad my boss understands the bond between you and I perfectly well. I told her I can't afford to miss your birthday. Thirteen years ago, you came out of my womb, into my arms until you grew this big. Grew into a special girl, my own personal gift from Heaven". Those words made Juana smile. And it pleased her mother to see her cheer up even if temporal.

" Where's your inhaler?"

"In my bag. Always there"

"Good. Don't ever leave home without it" she instructed and Juana nodded. All the words her mother told her was secured in her mind. She turned back to continue the salad when her mother wasn't saying anything anymore. She washed the fruits and blended them into juice and then poured into three mugs. She handed one to her mom and took one herself

"Thanks honey" Dawn said

"Where's mine?" Those words startled Juana and her mother looked back. There was Baron walking to the kitchen from the hallway, almost freezing. He hugged his body and shivered in the clothes he had on. None of them heard him enter the house. He looked like a little child who had been soaked by rain. Juana and her mother laughed at him.

"You look great, sweetheart" Dawn said sarcastically

"Hey kiddo, come here for a hug" Juana added and the duo laughed again. Baron made a funny face and went to his room

"Won't you come get a hug, sweetheart?" Dawn called

"Leave me alone!!" Baron shouted from his room, feigning anger.