Chapter 41
"What?" She asked looking at his face.
"Are you free today? Like totally free?"
"Well, I have to do laundry and help mama cook. I have to get back home in an hour's time" she said
"Then I can't show you today. It's a seven-hour journey from here" he said and walked back inside. She followed him quietly
"What the hell" Juana shook her head. "What are you showing me?"
"You'll see it when we get there. But not today since you're not so free" he said opening the refrigerator. He poured some vodka into a glass and drank.
"Want some?"
"Nope thanks" she shook her head. He smiled.
"So Jason, I wanted...
"It's Michael, you know that"
"Whatever" she shrugged. "I'm used to Jason. You can as well make it your second name" he looked at her like she just said something horrible, and he shook his head. "What were you saying?"
"I wanted to ask, what happened the other night? The night you came to the hospital"
"It's only yesterday" he said. "I was having problems with my heart"
"Oh my goodness"
"I have a hole in my heart--Ventricular Septal Defect(VSD). When I was a free man, I used to have a doctor who diagnosed this. He said I mustn't smoke or expose myself to my allergies but look here I am now. He said I would need surgery but I didn't have money so I stopped seeing him.But then, I started sensing complications, so I went back to him. He treated me without collecting a dime. He repaired my VSD, but you know, I can never have a normal heart. My doctor helped me get a job, I was very young but I had to stop school , to work.
I worked and saved a lot of money.In case you are wondering how I built this house and bought that car, it was my doctor who helped me plus my savings. He was old and kind. I combined three jobs together after dropping out of school. I didn't mind that I was stressing my heart. He was my everything after my mom and girlfriend died" he said. Almost as soon as he said this, he reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table. Juana snatched it from him and hid it behind her.
"Hand it over, I need to smoke" he said seriously but she didn't.
"Are you doing this because you want to die?"
He was silent. He looked like a little child whose doll has just been ripped apart.
"Not really, but if I don't do this, I'll still die. There are 1001 things that can kill me this minute"
"Are you still seeing your doctor?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because he died last month"
"Oh no" Juana shook her head. "I'm so sorry"
"I shouldn't have told him about my crime. He was so disappointed that I couldn't face him after that day, and then after some time, his wife called to tell me he died. I was heartbroken" he said.
"I'm so sorry."
"Yeah. I get this hard breathing and fast heart rate sometimes but at least I'm not pale and I gain weight. My doctor said it'll be hard, but I did. I used the gym for a while, and then stopped because it was affecting me but the results are there"
"Honestly Jason, you don't look like you're telling me the truth"
He laughed out loud.
"How can anyone lie about having VSD?" He said.
"I mean, you look healthy, except for your eyes that turn bloodshot sometimes" she said.
"Yes I used to take care of my health, but it's not important anymore" he sighed.
"Jason, smoking can make heart problems worse" she said softly still hiding the pack of cigarettes
"I know but I'm addicted"
She sighed. She knew that she'd need Colin's help and most probably a therapist to help Jason get better. She wanted to help him.
"Jason, sit" he sat and drank from his glass.
"Tell me about your first murder" she said carefully
"I need the cigar" he said. "Please"
"No, of course you don't need it"
"You can't help me stop smoking, Juana. The minute you're gone from here, I'm doing it again"
"At least you won't do it while I'm here. So answer my question now" she commanded
There was a long silence. He was shaking his glass and looking at the floor.
"Jason?"
"I'm not feeling comfortable"
"You said you were going to tell me everything"
"Yes"
They both sat in silence for about three minutes before he began to speak.
"I was almost sixteen when I killed him. He was a big bully, he bullied me for my scoliosis and said I was worthless. Said i was dull, good-for-nothing and had an ugly back. Same thing my father usually said.
Of course I told my mom and of course there were other bullies, but he was my biggest one. My mother reported to the school authority and they attended to it, but he didn't stop. He secretly threatened to hit me if I reported him again, did a lot of gruesome things that I can't mention. I begged him, warned him but he seemed strong headed. Then I told him I would kill him, he laughed thinking I was kidding"
Juana sighed. She felt like she was watching an horror movie.
"I.. I err... We had a school camp, so he was put in my room, with some one other guy. Everyday, he'd pour liquid on my bed and destroy my things. I felt like screaming. I cried myself to sleep every night and stopped reporting him. It was a seven-day camp. On the sixth night, I made sure everyone was asleep before going to his bed, but he wasn't there. He had gone outside.
I didn't know what he was doing outside in the middle of the night but he was alone. I went up to him and said a lot of curse words before I strangled him. I was bigger than him. I stuffed toilet paper in his mouth so he would not shout, and killed him.
When I saw that he was no longer breathing, I cried. I cried when I laid in my bed. I knew I had done something very bad" he said and stopped talking. Juana saw that he was crying. Her eyes were teary too.
