Obsessing

Noah

Noah's mind raced, replaying last night's conversation, frowning when he remembered that she hadn't really seemed upset until he brought up Derek. Was he really such a sore subject for her still? On Thanksgiving, she'd changed the subject, admitting she didn't want to talk about him. After last night, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to bring him up again without making things uncomfortable.

She'd cried. Of that he was almost certain as he'd heard her voice give. Could she have possibly been crying about Rita? It made no sense. That would mean she had feelings for him—actually considered him a possibility. She made certain last night that he knew that wasn't the case. So her tears were for Derek?

Tightening his jaw, he went back to working on taping his hands. "She never even mentioned Rita, so I don't know what to tell you about her looking upset. Maybe it just took her by surprise that dumb ass Hector would say something like that in front of her."

Noah wouldn't mention the one comment she did make about it because then he'd have to explain that it'd been brought up only after he accused her of being jealous about Gio and the groupie. That alone would confirm what Gio was already insisting: that Noah was looking at her as more than just her roommate. Otherwise, why would he care?

"Oh, she was surprised. I'll give you that. But there was more to it. Ask Abel if you don't believe me. He even said he wouldn't be surprised if you ended sleeping here last night."

Noah looked up at him again. For as much as he was trying to be indifferent about his nosy friend's observations, Gio was making it damn hard. Only he knew Gio wasn't just being nosy. He was worried and Noah knew exactly why.

The one time Noah had gotten his hopes up about a chick, his heart had been crushed. He was younger and a bit more naïve, but truth be told Noah had never truly been young in his life. By the age of eight, he'd been through more shit than some adults he knew. But as Jack had said to him once, "the heart is forever inexperienced." So maybe that was his problem.

Ironically, Tessa, the girl who'd crushed him, was also older as well, and while the age difference wasn't quite as big as the one between him and Roni, the difference between a sixteen-year-old virgin and a nineteen-year-old highly experienced girl was huge.

Having always been big for his age, Noah seemed older to Tessa when they first met. When she found out that not only was he three years younger than her but he was also a virgin, she admitted that being his first would be exciting. Being with a nineteen-year-old who professed to being very experienced had been beyond any fantasy that Noah had ever had about his first time. He never imagined the power any sex, much less mind-blowing sex, could have on a hormonally charged sixteen-year-old boy. After they started having it, he was like a lovesick puppy, following her around, doing whatever she asked, even if she didn't ask nicely.

The guys called him pussy-whipped, and in hindsight, it's exactly what he was, but he couldn't get enough. She became like a drug to him. He needed her, and he confused that need for love. When she dumped his ass for an older guy, he'd been devastated. Only even back then, he'd held off from admitting what he really felt. Gio was the only one to this day who knew Noah had actually cried for the bitch. He'd broken down and finally had to let it out and tell someone what he was going through.

Noah wasn't himself for months after that. He began getting in trouble for ditching, and it was the only time in his life he'd tried drugs. Smoking pot and getting drunk was the only thing that helped numb the pain. Between Abel and Gio trying to talk sense into him and then Jack threatening to cut him off and not allow him in the gym anymore—the only other thing that helped get his mind off her—he stopped smoking pot and concentrated on training. Even with all the low moments his life had been riddled with, because this one came at an age when the magnitude of emotion with anything that went wrong was tenfold, it stuck with him and Gio for a long time.

But this was different. He'd yet to even touch Roni. At this point, it was looking like he never would. And though much like with Tessa, Roni was all he thought about lately; there was so much more to his feelings for her. Tessa had been every sixteen-year-old boy's fantasy come to life. But other than the sex, there was nothing remotely profound about their relationship. Besides the unforgettable conversation he had with her when she admitted that being his first would be a turn on, he couldn't remember even one other conversation with her.

With Roni, their relationship was all he had—a relationship that was growing even still—stronger and deeper than any he'd ever shared with anyone. As much as he wanted more with her, he had to admit that the thought of ruining what they had now scared the shit out of him.

Noah shrugged, bringing his attention back to the hand wrapping. "She was fine with it. She'll be here tonight for her workout as usual. You'll see."

Gio stood up. "All right. Whatever you say. But if I were you, I wouldn't let Hector in on how fine she was with it. Because you know the moment his ass gets a chance, he'll be opening his mouth again. Let what Abel told him stand, even if things aren't like we're thinking, because that was some uncomfortable shit last night."

Noah nodded but refused to comment any further. He knew Gio wouldn't be mentioning it if he didn't really believe what he had seen: that Roni had been upset about Rita. It just didn't make sense. Then there was that cheery note this morning.

Gio walked out of the locker room, and Noah finished wrapping his hands. He'd just have to wait and see if she ever brought it up again. Or maybe he would.

He'd decided the extra hour he had that morning he'd spend on the speed bag, but there was no way he was going to be able to concentrate until he spoke with Roni. He wanted to make sure she wasn't still upset with him for any reason. He had to know they were good.

He called her before walking out of the locker room, but it went to her voicemail. He almost didn't leave a message but decided last second to leave one.

"Hey, Roni. It's me, Noah. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about last night. I hope you're not still mad at me. Can you call me when you get a chance? I'd feel better if we talked."

Pressing the end button, he stared at the phone for a moment before dropping it in his gym bag. He pushed the whole thing into his locker and locked it up.

The relaxed training Noah had planned on doing with the speed bag turned out to be more grueling than expected after running into Abel out there. Abel said there were some things he saw Noah doing during the fight that he wanted to work on with him. He held the heavy bag for Noah while Noah worked the hell out of his lower jab. Abel thought Noah should've been able to take the guy down even sooner if he'd landed better jabs. Noah knew exactly why his head hadn't been completely in the fight, but he wouldn't mention it; instead, he went along and worked on his body jabs.

The workout had served to get Roni off his mind because he hadn't thought about her until he walked into the locker room again. Anxious to check his phone, he pulled the gloves off as fast as he could.

"Hey man." Noah turned just as he'd begun to work the combination lock on his locker to see Hector walking up to him. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't know things were like that with you and Veronica. I hope I didn't mess things up for you."

Remembering what Gio said, Noah decided to neither confirm nor deny anything. He sure as hell didn't want Hector opening his big mouth again, burning up any last shred of hope he might have of convincing Roni he was mature enough to handle her. "Nah, it's cool. Don't worry about it."

"You sure? 'Cause I could talk to her. You know tell her—"

"No! Don't say anything to her. Just don't bring up Rita again."

Noah got the locker open and dug in his bag for his phone. He frowned. The disappointment of not having any missed calls was a little too much. He had to fight the urge to call her again. He'd see her soon enough.

"All right," Hector said. "But if you ever need me to say anything, I will."

Noah threw the phone back in his bag and closed the door. "Just keep your mouth shut around her, and we should be good."

They walked back out to the gym. Noah was determined to make it through the rest of the day without obsessing over Roni.